Pedophile in Ramat Gan: How are children taught to beware of strangers?
The story of the abduction of 11-year-old Ilai defends in Ramat Gan to the horror of every parent in the country.
How can we be sure that our child also knows how to recognize danger and escape - and how do we talk to him about it without sowing anxieties in his heart?
Parent counselor answers
Moore Shamir
18/03/2022
Friday, 18 March 2022, 00:15 Updated: 00:16
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We all anxiously read the articles this week about the pedophile who tried to drag an 11-year-old boy into his car in Ramat Gan.
We have all wondered again how in a modern society in which we live this still happens, like this at noon.
And we all asked ourselves - is there anything we can do to ensure that our child knows how to recognize the danger?
And how do we ensure that we do not do more harm than good?
Do we put anxieties in our child's young heart?
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To the full article
This is indeed a complex task, and in order to succeed in doing it right, it is important that we understand that part of our parental authority is to mediate reality.
And in reality there are people who can harm our children, so we must be sure that we have given them tools to cope.
However, even in a conversation about a complex subject that it is very important to put the thing in the right proportions - it exists in reality but it is very unusual.
What exactly do children say?
In TV and cinema the "bad guys" are dressed in black and have a wicked face and a scary laugh.
They are easy to spot.
When talking to children about the subject, it is important to explain that in reality bad people can look completely normal.
Maybe even very nice, and offer gifts.
Therefore, we never talk or walk with people we do not know.
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It is important to clearly explain to children that in case someone stranger talks to them or offers them things, they should stay away and look for the closest parent with children to ask for help.
It is important that the message be to look for the closest person who can help, and even if it did not help - do not give up and keep searching and sharing until he finds the safe place.
The message: never talk or go with people we do not know.
Playground (Photo: ShutterStock)
How do we make sure the kids tell us if something bad happens?
We all want the kids to want to share with us the good and the bad, give us a glimpse into their experience.
For that to happen, we need to be a model for sharing.
Talk to the children routinely about our experiences, events, feelings and thoughts.
When you share with the children, the chances increase that he will also participate.
When the child shares about situations that upset us (for example, "Today I did not feel like going into class"), we will first be happy with his desire to share, and even tell him "thank you for sharing", and only later in the event we will talk about the rules at home.
We want the child to understand that we are the address for everything for him.
When the child tells us things, it is important to listen seriously and with due respect to the problems and situations that the children raise.
We want to be the safe haven for them, and it's built in these places.
Teach children to know their limits
It is very important to teach children from an early age that "my body is in my possession", and that no one other than a doctor or parent is allowed to touch private organs.
With young children it is important to illustrate through examples for example with the help of a book, or in the shower.
Great time to talk about "my body in my possession".
Girl in the bath (Photo: ShutterStock)
Psychologist Nigel Latte, who specializes in child care, talked about the child's ability to identify what he "feels uncomfortable with".
Through talking to the child about situations we teach him:
1. There may be a situation where in certain situations he will feel unpleasant 2. It is
allowed to resist or refuse a touch that is unpleasant, to say "I do not like it" even if a friend pulls or does something that creates discomfort
3. It is important that if the refusal is ignored - we will look for a known adult or someone who can help stop it
and one last thing: we know our children.
If we see that something has changed in behavior - let's check.
The child's behavior is language.
We need to be aware of the changes and try to understand what is behind the matter.
And if we have no idea other than suspicion - sometimes parental guidance can be the solution.
Mor Shamir is a parent counselor at the Adler Institute and a couple counselor who specializes in attention and concentration and high-tech parenting.
health
parenthood
Tags
kidnapping
Pedophile
Ramat Gan
Children
parenthood
