A country in anxiety: How do you explain the security situation to children?

The wave of terrorist attacks of recent days has left many of us speechless, but our children owe it to us to stand by them - to explain to them what is happening, to calm down and contain their fear.

Here are some tools to help you do just that

Judith Oliver

30/03/2022

Wednesday, 30 March 2022, 15:08 Updated: 15:50

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In recent days we have all been dealing with attack after attack, charging heavy prices.

Dealing with a life cut short by their enemy, people who have suddenly disappeared from our lives.

With a sense of insecurity that flows to every settlement in the country and to every person and family.

The news channels broadcast a series of reports from the arenas in which the attack took place, interviews with members of the security establishment about what was done and what still needs to be done.

Radio channels also report, and in others mournful music is heard.

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We are familiar with these situations, they recur once every few years.

We know how to hurt the pain of the families of the victims, we know how to be angry about the situation, we know how to mobilize and help each other.

We also know how to get through these periods and get back to the routine of our lives.

But when it comes to our children's coping - it's harder.

In homes inside the parents are the leaders, they are the roadmaps.

In this difficult time, what we parents need is to know how to behave, to learn how to mediate reality for children in a way that will allow them a tailored and reassuring response.

Here are some tools to help you do that:

Before you go and talk to the children about the situation, start by identifying where you are - how you feel, what it evokes in you.

See what you need - maybe a conversation with a family member or friend will help, and maybe you need the advice of a professional.

Remember that in front of the children it is important to be in a regulated, managed place, so as not to create panic - "If a mother is scared then it also upsets me".

If you are very worried - the children will be worried too.

Father and child talking (Photo: ShutterStock)

Turn off the TV

Minimize listening and connecting to the new editions.

You can of course be updated from time to time, but avoid a TV that is on for many hours and is present around the events.

This can increase anxiety and stress.

With adolescents who are often present on social networks and exposed to the information transmitted in them, have a conversation about choice - why we expose ourselves, for what purpose, what need it meets.

Help them choose what to expect and to what extent.

Explain the situation to the children, allow them to ask questions and answer them in a way that suits their age and ability to understand and contain.

You are the great experts for your children.

Give space and legitimacy to the children's feelings - the fear that arises in them - and avoid cancellation or reduction.

Ask the children what can help them now, for example: sleep with the siblings in the same room and not in separate rooms.

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During the conversation, also get involved.

Tell them what we do to take care of ourselves: Avoid going to crowded places, malls or gathering places for large numbers of people.

If you have decided not to send the children to the educational setting, explain this to the children, explain that this is what you think is right to do at the moment.

In addition, put in the timeline: there have been such periods in the past, and we have gone through them, and also - there are very skilled security services in Israel that know how to deal with and respond to these situations.

It is very important not to panic about the reactions of the children.

Sometimes in anxiety states regression in children's behavior is seen - back to wetting, difficulty with anesthesia.

When you are not scared, you can be the anchor and backbone for your children.

It's understandable, it fits and I'm here with you to get through it together.

Remember, we can not change reality, we can conduct ourselves in a way that may be more effective for us and our family members.

When you are the parent, getting an answer to your difficulty, you can choose how to respond in different situations with your children in the way it promotes.

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Tags

• Terrorist attack

• anxiety

• Children

• parenthood

• attacks