Being a man, going out, not drinking and hoping that women who are in the same bar or club or pub have.
Approach then, talk and get them to go with them: to her house, to hers, to the car or wherever.
This is what the twitcher Xokas, with more than a million followers on his different platforms, has related in a direct: “I have colleagues who do not drink and who were like that to go and flirt with the girls and who also had a lot of fun taking girls who were high.
For him [his “colleague”] it was very easy to flirt, because of course, for an aunt who would generally see you as a four she sees you as a seven […], then it is much easier, on top of that you are serene, you measure perfectly your words, suck [...].
To take it in the ass, he went out to flirt, he went out with us and he always left with a girl.
A crack, an out of series,
fucking pro.
It is that this... A troubled river, profit of fishermen”.
A profit that can translate into up to 10 years in prison, because that behavior is not a trick to flirt, it can be a crime.
"If a man abuses a state of unconsciousness or intoxication in a woman, it fits into a criminal category of sexual abuse, it constitutes a crime," says Lucía Avilés, magistrate and co-founder of the Association of Women Judges.
She collects it in article 181 of the Penal Code.
“Whoever, without violence or intimidation and without consent, performs acts that violate the sexual freedom or indemnity of another person, will be punished, as responsible for sexual abuse, with a prison sentence of one to three years or a fine of eighteen to twenty-four months”, says the legislation.
“Non-consensual sexual abuse is considered to be that which is carried out on persons who are deprived of consciousness [”high”] or whose mental disorder is abused, or as well as those which are committed by annulling the will of the victim through the use of drugs. , drugs or any other natural or chemical substance [the so-called chemical submission] suitable for this purpose”, he adds.
And, in all cases, "when the sexual abuse consists of carnal access through the vagina, anus or mouth,
The crime, the consequence.
The cause, rape culture
The crime is the consequence.
The risk, for women and for society, is in the cause, the one that causes it, allows it and sustains it: the culture of rape.
All those ideas that place the desire of men at the center and the body of women as an instrument to satisfy that desire, dissociated from women themselves.
Objects but not subjects in sex whose consent is not only not required but it is preferable that it does not exist.
This is "easier".
Ángela Rodríguez, Secretary of State for Equality, says on the phone that “the most painful thing” about the video is that “it is a person whose opinions reach many young people, that is the information they receive from sexual culture, that of Xokas, and not from the institute, which is the one that should be compulsory.”
And Aurora Gómez, a psychologist expert in digital behaviors, from the Corio cabinet, also points to it: “Consent has not been taught.
Classes are focused on reproductive issues.
But the most important thing, consent, when it is established that a person has their will annulled and there is an obvious asymmetry, has been left out”.
This, she adds, is more "dangerous" insofar as she is saying "an influencer."
"Do we think it's a joke?
Do we take it lightly?
We should not.
These characters have a lot of real influence,
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It's not just Xokas, his colleagues, like Ricky, another "content creator" on networks, with almost 300,000 followers on Twitter alone, has posted about this.
"They are calling Xokas a rapist for defining all the nightclubs in the world on a daily basis," he wrote a few hours ago on his account.
It is the concept not only of appropriation of the body of women but also of the deprivation of liberty for them and the responsibility and culpability for their acts.
"If they don't want that, don't drink," users say in comments in response to that video on social networks.
Those who reach these messages, and those who send them, are young people, adolescents in many cases.
They see, listen, learn, normalize and repeat.
Ritxar Bacete, anthropologist and expert in new masculinities, explains that "neither Twitter, nor YouTube, nor Facebook create culture, but rather reinforce existing models and insert these discourses into them."
The rape culture “already exists, with this it multiplies”.
For him, the “big question”, the usual one, “is where and how” it is built: “Where is sex education, equality policies that educate and accompany men, boys?”.
He believes that until now he is educating "disaggregating the relational", with parameters that do not affect the affective or sexual.
“Girls and boys are going to be imbued and impacted by these characters with loudspeakers from a culture and a context that validates violence.
And beware of tearing our clothes, which are the girls and boys of our culture and our society, and that we all build, "adds Bacete.
The studies of recent years go down this path and reflect how among the younger male population there has been a visible setback in equality.
Last September, the last barometer on youth and gender of the FAD Youth Foundation [formerly the Drug Addiction Help Foundation] reflected that one in five men between the ages of 15 and 29 in Spain considers that sexist violence does not exist and that it is just an “ideological invention”.
In February, the most complete study that has been done to date, published in
The Lancet
, with the World Health Organization database on the prevalence of gender-based violence, estimated that 27% of the world female population between 15 and 49 years old who have suffered physical, psychological or sexual violence by their partners at some point in their lives.
More than a billion and they are only the aggressions counted within the couple and the ex-partner.
And in Spain, among the crimes that rose the most last year according to the Ministry's balance of crime were those of a sexual nature.
These figures reflect reality —or part of it, because it is estimated that only one in three sexual attacks are reported— and the structure that maintains it.
“What Xokas tells in her
streaming
of her is to enjoy and laugh that a woman is stoned and that it is easier to have sex like this.
That is not having sexual relations, if a woman cannot give her consent, if there is no yes, there is rape.
And that is the fundamental change in the Penal Code that is included in the law on sexual freedom, ”says Rodríguez, the Secretary of State.
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The sexual freedom law arrives: silence is not a yes
Now, the regulations establish that if a woman is drugged, asleep or unconscious for different reasons and is not able to exercise her will, sexual assault will be an abuse and not an assault.
Future legislation (still pending) proposes this modification.
And not only, because there are currently other impediments when it comes to proving, prosecuting and prosecuting sexual violence.
Alba Pérez, lawyer and member of the 7N Platform against Violence, speaks of the “difficulty of proof”, that is, proving that there has been abuse or aggression when these types of crimes usually occur in private.
“Two people who go home after spending the whole night drinking, both of them, are not the same as a man who waits until a woman is almost unconscious to take her away,” he says.
If the second occurs, "the first thing would be to rule out drugs," says the lawyer.
She also insists that "talking to those around you that night, if you don't remember anything or have gaps, it's important", witnesses who can give you details of the situation and who can help you remember to decide how to proceed.
Rodríguez also refers, in this sense, to the crisis centers: “There will be one in each province of this country, so that the moment a woman sees herself there, she can go to the center to be accompanied in the entire reporting process, if they want to do so, and if they don't want to report, for the collection of biological samples so that when they want, if they want, they can do so.
Either a week or a month.
In addition to all the accompaniment in the recovery process, which is not only police but psychological and with specialized intervention to be able to recover.
Gómez, the psychologist, sees only one “positive” side, “but at least one”.
That now, "part of society detects it so quickly."