How do you explain Memorial Day to young children?
There is no doubt that this week is one of the challenges for many parents in Israel.
After talking to your children about the Holocaust and heroism, a parent counselor explains how best to mediate Memorial Day for them
Walla!
health
03/05/2022
Tuesday, 03 May 2022, 12:00
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Every parent of young children has found themselves debating this week - how, if at all, explain to young children what you wish in your heart that they would never understand?
What to say and what to hide?
And what level of detail to go down with them?
The relevant issue on the agenda at the moment is Memorial Day for the Martyrs of the Israeli Civil War, which comes just before the Independence Day celebrations - dissonance is difficult to contain for adults, and certainly for children as well.
The parent counselor, Dalia Eilat from the Adler Institute, has compiled for us some frequently asked questions of children and recommended ways to answer them:
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Israel Martyrs' Remembrance Day (Photo: Reuven Castro)
How do you explain Memorial Day to children?
The starting point of the conversation can be Independence Day: Explain to the children that each country celebrates its Independence Day, just as they celebrate a birthday.
An entire nation, goes out to celebrate with songs and performances, fireworks, on the fire, etc. (You can also ask the children what other Independence Day customs they are familiar with and whether they talked about it in kindergarten).
Explain to them that the reason we can celebrate our independence as a people and a country is thanks to our army made up of soldiers guarding us and that over the years there have been soldiers as well as civilians who were wounded or killed so we could live here safely.
Therefore, just before Independence Day, we as a people stop to remember, to remember, to thank, to mark in ceremonies, to miss and feel the sadness.
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The explanation can also be attached to the white shirt that children are asked to wear on kindergarten and school Memorial Day: "We wear white shirts at events and festive occasions. This is another way to show respect for a day that is meaningful to us."
If you have a story in the family or circle of friends about courage, heroism, help, rescue and contribution to a country that the child can share (of course in a way that matches his age), this may be a good time to tell or mention him.
Why is there a siren?
The siren is something external that helps all of us as a people stop as one man and remember all the soldiers and people who fought to defend our country.
What do you do with a siren?
Standing still and waiting quietly, thinking of those who have defended and protecting us.
It's a bit like looking at old pictures and remembering different experiences, only language we remember without pictures, but with what we have in mind.
We have a strong army that guards and protects us and we also want to stop and thank for that.
For kindergarten children the staff will usually allow the game to continue during the siren.
Children standing at the siren (Photo: Meged Guzni)
For young kindergarten children the staff will usually be allowed to continue playing as usual during the siren, but it is advisable to explain to them that a siren will sound and that they will see the staff standing during it, telling them that they can choose to join and stand or continue their pursuits.
Sayings like "no laughing" and "must keep quiet" are unnecessary because they are very difficult to implement at young ages (not just kindergarten, even in the lower grades it can be challenging), as one knows there is a moment when one should not smile and then from the embarrassment and stress it happens.
It is recommended for my children to even flood it at home, and to talk about the fact that sometimes it is precisely in these moments that it is difficult to maintain restraint and what the child can do if it happens to him.
The very act of conversation and openness, can release the embarrassment and tension.
Sharpen the difference between an alarm and a siren
It is important to explain the difference between the two, especially for children whose alarms are part of their routine.
Do not settle for the dry message page of: "When a true alarm is sounded, there will be a rising and falling sound", it is advisable to really loudly demonstrate the difference between the two sounds and offer the child to join to understand that this is a siren standing and not running to the shelter.
It is also possible to explain that the sirens are sounded on fixed and known days in advance, that we prepare ourselves for them and know exactly what time they will sound and what their length will be, as opposed to an alarm that is sounded suddenly and unknown in advance.
Dalia Eilat is a parent counselor at the Adler Institute
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The Adler Institute
Memorial Day for the victims of the Israeli military and the victims of hostilities