Do not ask postpartum women if they have fun.

There is a good chance they are suffering

About 15% of pregnant and postpartum women will suffer from depression and anxiety.

They will feel a lack of appetite, difficulty falling asleep, a feeling of emptiness, sadness, difficulty concentrating, fear of being alone with the baby, and guilt that only they can not be happy.

How can you help them?

Inbal Aviv

08/05/2022

Sunday, 08 May 2022, 06:06 Updated: 07:24

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"בְּעֶצֶב תֵּלְדִי בָּנִים וְתִתְעַצְּבִי כְּשֶׁבִּזְרוֹעוֹתַיִךְ עוֹלֵל בִּטְנֵךְ וְלֹא תּוּכְלִי לְשֵׂאתוֹ עוֹד, תִּשְׁעָה חֳדָשִׁים וְכֹחֵךְ תָּשׁ הַמַּשָּׂא כָּבֵד, נַפְשֵׁךְ רְצוּצָה לְאַלְפֵי שְׁבָרִים וּבְכָל שֶׁבֶר נִבָּטוֹת פָּנַיִךְ וְהַדָּם עֲדַיִן נִגָּר, בְּרֹאשֵׁךְ מְזַמְזֵם, "יְלָדִים זֶה שִׂמְחָה" אֲבָל, אֶצְלֵךְ זֶה עֶצֶב וְלִבֵּךְ דַּלְתוֹ נָעַל. בְּעֶצֶב I have a good time.

(Leah Zvi)

14 years ago I was pregnant for the first time.

One day during pregnancy a friend from work looked at me and said "what fun are you going to have after the birth".

And I at that time fully understood what he was talking about, it was clear to me that maternity leave would be one of the best times of my life.

A few months after that statement I hated him for that sentence.

I did not understand what fun he and all the rest of the world talked about.

I was lonely and bored, I thought everyone had fun on maternity leave and only I did not.

Because we have always been told that boys are sadly born, but that children are a joy.

More on Walla!

Postpartum depression can last for years, and even worsen

To the full article

The most common birth complication is postpartum emotional difficulty.

About 15 percent of pregnant and postpartum women will suffer from postpartum depression and anxiety.

That is, in Israel, in 2021, 27,711 women suffered from anxiety and postpartum depression.

Lack of appetite, difficulty falling asleep, feelings of emptiness, sadness, difficulty concentrating, fear of being alone with the baby, negative thoughts are all signs of depression and postpartum anxiety.

As

Orna Fitoussi recounts in the book The Big Bear "everything was black and heavy and repetitive. All the days looked exactly the same. Everything was pointless and pointless. Not even sad. Sadly there are some other animals. So I was not even sad."

And as mentioned Orna is not alone.

But children it's a joy.

Everything was pointless and pointless.

Not even sad. "Sad mother holds baby (Photo: ShutterStock)

Women with postpartum depression suffer from both the symptoms mentioned above and the feeling that they are all happy and only they are not, that they are not good mothers, that something is "fucked up" with them because no one has told them that this is how it is.

And really who said it was like that and when was the time to tell?

In childbirth preparation courses teach how to care for the baby, when to get an epidural but not on the mother's emotional difficulties after birth, in milk drops there are not enough professional women who can locate and treat women with postpartum depression, in advertisements all mothers look happy, in history women have prayed to become mothers.

After all, children are joy, so how can we talk about sadness?

More on Walla!

• Postpartum depression is more common among white mothers

• Not just depression: the mental disorder that afflicts women after childbirth

• Anxiety, fear and insomnia: Why in Israel do not talk about postpartum depression?

• The Silent Killer: Everything you need to know about high blood pressure and how to deal with it

The mental health of mothers is important, and I'm not afraid to say it.

I am not afraid of the stigma and I am not afraid to deter women from talking about their mental state.

On the contrary, I know we will talk more about it this way, and so women with postpartum anxiety and depression will not feel lonely.

Today (Sunday) marks the International Day for the Mental Health of Mothers in Israel and around the world.

On this day we demand from the state not only to encourage women to give birth, but also to take care of them after giving birth.

Resources must be invested in locating and caring for women with emotional difficulties after childbirth, expanding response at breastfeeding stations, budgeting community programs to support mothers and budgeting assistance programs on behalf of the National Insurance Institute.

And we all have a role to play, too.

We all know women after childbirth, let's not ask them if they're having fun and not determine that they must be terribly happy.

Next time we meet a woman after giving birth let's ask her if she's suffering, if it's hard for her.

Maybe the question will give her legitimacy to talk about the difficulty, maybe she will feel she's okay, that she's not alone.

And if she tells that it is difficult for her, that she suffers, does not sleep, does not eat, thinks negative thoughts, there is something to do - seek treatment, encourage her to seek treatment.

And do not tell her that children are a joy, by the way, this was not the poet's intention either.

• health

• psychology

Tags

• Postpartum depression

• anxiety

• depression

• women

• pregnancy

• Birth