How can you help a child when he is dealing with frustration?
Shouts, prostrations and throwing objects - your child expresses frustration and you should respond in the right way
Daniel Sarantsky, in collaboration with JAMA
Thursday, 12 May 2022, 07:22
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Before you became a mother, you must have seen a little boy lying on the floor of the mall shouting, and his mother next to him helpless.
Raising an eyebrow and thinking that is why it will not happen, but here you are dealing with similar behavior right now, with your own private child.
When and why does this happen?
, a certified parent counselor at the Adler Institute and the Ministry of Education, explains that from the age of about a year and a half, children begin the process of separation from the parent in which they discover their independence.
They notice that they have different desires from yours, and realize that these abilities allow them to achieve many things.
The difficulty begins when you, mothers, refuse your child's request and stop him due to your desire to protect him, impatience, lack of time and more, and suddenly, out of nowhere, begins a horror show of crying, shouting, prostrating, throwing objects and more.
And what actually happened here?
You said "no" or "forbidden", the child encounters the limit you set and he is not happy with it and experiences frustration.
Because his nervous system is not yet mature, there is difficulty in his emotional regulation and he experiences the frustration with great intensity.
How can you help a child while he is experiencing frustration?
These are the steps you should therefore embrace: The
contained and possible the crying, shouting and prostrating.
As long as the child does not harm himself or others - let him continue to do so.
Try not to panic from crying, it is part of his natural development.
This is how he deals with the frustration he is experiencing.
Go down to eye level and give the child a feeling that you really understand what he is going through, even if you think it is nonsense.
Remember how much it helps that when it is difficult for you, there are those who listen and understand your heart.
They said for example: "I understand you wanted another cookie, it's really tasty right? If it was healthy we would have eaten the whole package together."
That emotion day
helped the child give a name to the emotion he expresses.
The more he knows how to speak the emotion, the less he will use crying, which is a way of expressing emotion.
For example: "I see you're angry that I did not agree for you to eat another cookie."
Another choice offer
allowed the child to choose from another option, after setting the limit.
"Would you like to wash an apple or pear with me? Tomorrow we can eat another cookie."
Encouraging overcoming frustration
Even if the child cried for 25 minutes, encourage the minute he was able to overcome and move on.
Remember that whatever you cultivate will continue.
If you often engage in outbursts and crying, just talk about it and convince the child to stop or get angry with him - this expression of frustration will grow and intensify.
Conversely, if you encourage good behavior and strengthen the child's ability to overcome frustration, this is what will eventually be overcome and intensified and the child will learn to deal with frustration in a better way.
Remember that your child is not against you and does not do so, but acts for himself.
You need to support, prepare, understand and encourage him at any age and give him the feeling that I am there for him and accept him in any situation.
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The difficulty begins when you, mothers, refuse your child's request and arrest him for wanting to protect him (Photo: ShutterStock)
The Jama app was established with the aim of addressing mothers of babies from birth to age three, and centralizing for them content, activities, tips from experts and videos that will accompany them throughout this challenging period.
All the content in the app "grows" together with the baby and is precisely adapted to its developmental stages, so that the mothers receive only what is relevant to them and interests them at any given moment.
The Jama app is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and get to know other mothers around them, and create new and exciting friendships in the fascinating journey.
Search us on Google: https://app.jama.co.il/