'I was a sex symbol, now I'm a baby machine': Ashley Graham opens up about her body

After Emily Ratajkowski, who published an essay book entitled

in November 2021 , it's model Ashley Graham's turn to write about the transformations and the way she sees her body today, in as a woman, top and now a mother.

Her text was published on May 20 in the columns of

alongside the release of her inclusive lingerie capsule with the Knix brand.

In video: "Style not Size", the positive body bet of two fashion influencers

A difficult transformation

At the forefront of the

the 34-year-old top has been proudly displaying her body on social media for several years. Becoming a mother in 2020 and then again in January 2022, the plus-size top has continued to expose her figure and break pregnancy taboos with 18 million Instagram followers.

To the point of then committing to tell on social networks his “postpartum journey” and to appear in the simplest device, revealing a belly marbled with streaks.

In reality, this self-acceptance was not as simple as one imagines, reveals today the young woman.

“I would like to say that after posting this photo, I have found peace with myself and my new body.

But it wasn't that simple.

Malachi and Roman's birth was incredible, but the consequences were deeply crushing.

(…) I had planned to go back to work after eight weeks, but I was a wreck, and when I saw myself in the mirror, I still felt like I looked pregnant.”

And to conclude: "I was a sex symbol, and now I'm a baby-making machine."

Almost five months after giving birth to her twins, Ashley Graham says she was obsessed with her pregnancy pounds that wouldn't go away.

"I felt like my body wasn't mine.

I tried to erase (them) and was like, 'Girl, you're still fine no matter what,' she recalled.

I've had a few stretch marks and I've had a few really good stretch mark crying sessions."

Get out of the norm

Even today, the model admits that the appreciation of her new contours fluctuates from day to day.

"I'm still not entirely comfortable in my body, regardless of my body positive advocacy," she says.

There are days when I look at myself and say, 'There's nothing you can't handle.

There's nothing you can't do”.

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Sometimes, Ashley Graham admits, when she glances at her stretch marks, a dizziness overwhelms her. “I'm a lingerie model, for god's sake.

That's not what lingerie models look like, she wonders.

Before reassuring and proudly assuming: "Well, I've never been the standard of what a typical lingerie model looks like."