As always, "Wedding at First Sight" provides us with meaningful learning when it comes to relationships.
Limor and Liad's conduct taught us that while attraction is necessary (see Daniel and Rinat's entry), it alone is not enough.
Limor and Liad were attracted to each other from the first moments under the canopy, but they only reached the honeymoon and everything shattered.
Why?
Mainly because there is a communication problem between them.
It's true that these are two fundamentally different people (remind me why they thought of connecting them?), And it's true that everyone comes with charges from the past, and yet - every moment there is an explosion between them and they are many.
He thinks she's insulting him, so he does not remain obligated and insults her either, and the result is that they are both hurt.
How many times can you open a smooth page and move on?
How many times can you want to continue this relationship?
In one of their conversations, Limor shares with Liad that she feels alone in this process, and that he too is alone.
That they still do not know and that they have a way to go until they are a couple (if at all), and she is right.
He is supposedly listening and empathetic (embracing), but the first second he is required to do so he is offended that she is not listening to his advice on how to sail the boat.
Liad and Limor, Photo: Keshet 12
So, when she asks for help, he leaves her alone and replies, "I don't want to."
In response to his childish behavior, Limor abandons the boat and swims to shore alone.
No wonder, whoever treats a woman this way will not be surprised that he is left alone.
But the target does not receive the message, he is hurt and offended and punishes her (and himself) and does not want to talk about it.
Is this how you behave when you want to build a relationship?
Obviously not, and the truth is that no one is treated that way even regardless of the relationship, one can always behave in a polite and respectful manner.
When you want to create a relationship, you must know how to communicate with each other.
It means one has to listen to the other side, hear his opinion, try to accept and contain the things he says to understand his point of view, and put the criticism and judgment aside for a moment because it diminishes the other side and makes him defend and shut himself off.
Communicating means sharing your thoughts and feelings about what you are experiencing in such and such moments, and this should be done gently and thoughtfully (remember how Ben told Maayan that she was not his tape-cast and how he felt the first second he saw her compared to how much he flew at her now?) .
Although the message is one that most of the time the other side will not like to hear, if we say it gently and considerately, the probability that it will hear us and accept our point of view - is higher.
In addition, it is important to always try to convey a message in a positive way.
Instead of the target saying, "You kept talking about yourself and saying nothing about relationships, it would not matter to you if it was just you," he could ask deliberate questions like, "How do you see me fit into all this?"
Yes, it takes a moment of thought before we speak, but when the other side does not know us, and we do not know him, it does not really mean that we can shoot from the mouth everything that comes to mind without filtering at all.
The author is the author of the Practical Guide to Creating Relationships: "From All My Educational Courts," and helps women create relationships. For follow-up: on Facebook and Instagram
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