In his book Men from Mars Women Manga, Dr. John Gray wrote that men are like rubber bands. They need to move away to get closer again. Distance allows them to connect to their self, then return to their partner full of energy, motivation, love and passion.
This is exactly what Ben wanted to do: get away from a spring to get closer again, to feel longing and to be filled with energies.
But something along the way did not really work for him according to the book.
The distance did not make him miss, and the felt became too much fun and good.
Maybe because he spent his time alone in his wonderful New York and not in his natural environment, maybe because he was too busy with an exciting business opportunity that filled him, maybe because five days were not enough or it was because Maayan pressed repeatedly "But do you miss? Say it already! "
So in the end, he fails to stretch the rubber band to the end, and since he does not have the momentum to return to it with full force.
Or in any case no rubber band or stretch will help a man who is not entirely in your interest.
Give him some time to miss.
son.
Photo: From the series
While forming a relationship, the longing phase is almost necessary for making a connection.
But in "Khatunmi", where everything is intense and stressful, it is not possible to pause and miss.
The immediate move to a shared residence and the stress for 42 consecutive days does not allow this.
Contestants do not have moments with themselves where they can breathe for a second, digest this great thing that is happening in their lives, and understand how they feel about it.
They are participating in a reality show that should generate ratings here and now.
There is no time to search and maybe find longing.
Last season, Itamar jumped on his isolation as a bargain and rejected Karin when she wanted to join him in isolation.
He explicitly said that isolation for him is the ability to grasp a little and distance and see if he misses.
This is exactly what Ben is asking for himself.
Yes, he's nice to Maayan and she's fun and he's having fun with her, but he also needs some freedom and air for himself.
A spouse must understand this.
Certainly if it's a couple over the age of 35.
Those who are used to being single and alone, need time to get used to the presence of a spouse there fully in their lives.
It is a process that takes time, even if both parties fly over each other.
True, this does not have to happen to everyone: here, Katya and Lior immediately move in together even after the show, but they do not represent the majority.
Yael said the same.
White had no time for himself from the moment he met Maayan, and now that he is flying for five days he is getting that time for himself.
But Maayan doesn't really give him the air he needs, and urges him to tell her he misses.
But he is not.
"If I miss - I will say. And if not - why put me in this corner?"
He complains that now he can not enjoy New York as much as he wanted, that he is returning to an upset country.
The recommendation is usually to give after the time required for him, to encourage and support his activities and not to stress.
Whoever misses - knows how to say.
If not on the phone, then when he comes back and feels how much he missed.
If he does not feel longing, he usually also says, only the words are completely different.
I expect that unlike "I'm in love with New York" which was from the mound and not in a place in front of a spring, this time he would tell her the truth.
He will have no choice.
Because Maayan does live in a world that is all good, and tells herself stories like "Kupa" is actually a code name for "I love you" and how much he wants to tell her that but has a hard time right now and it's okay and she understands ... but these grandmother stories also have a limit .
And Maayan will also want answers.
The author is the author of the practical guide to creating relationships: "From all my educational educators" and helps women create relationships. For follow-up: on Facebook and Instagram
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