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Helicopter parents: 3 tips to help you let go

2022-07-05T10:12:21.366Z

Helicopter parents often cannot let go. But children also need room to breathe. An expert therefore reveals how it can succeed.



Helicopter parents often cannot let go.

But children also need room to breathe.

An expert therefore reveals how it can succeed.

Munich – The biggest problem of so-called “helicopter parents” is letting go.

Like helicopters, they always circle around their children to watch and protect them.

They actually only mean well: They want the best for the little ones, success and happiness - and they want that for the rest of their lives, please.

However, some parents probably even know that their parenting style can also harm their children.

However, they find it difficult to let go.

An expert now reveals three tips on how it can finally succeed.

Helicopter parents find it difficult to let go of their children

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Helicopter parents have a hard time letting go.

An expert reveals three tips that can help.

(icon picture)

© Roger Richter/IMAGO

If you think of helicopter parents, you usually immediately have a negative image in mind.

No wonder, after all, experts even warn that the parenting style of helicopter parents can produce children with behavioral disorders.

So-called lawnmower parents, who also remove obstacles from their children's path, are even more harmful for later adult life.

Both types of parents have the problem of letting go of their children and letting them become independent.

The mother of three and coach Astrid Meinberg explained to the online portal "familie.de" that with this strategy, helicopter parents lose sight of the individuality of their children, who, according to a new study, are usually smarter than other children.

Instead of seeing the child, one focuses on the environment and possible "obstacles".

This makes it difficult for parents to recognize what needs the individual child really has and what it actually needs.

For parents it is a balancing act: on the one hand, children need closeness and warmth, but on the other hand they need enough space and air to breathe - and it is important for parents to recognize this.

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Helicopter parents: 3 tips to help you let go

For Meinberg, what may sound contradictory is the solution to the problem: In order to recognize what the child needs, real closeness must be established.

That's the only way parents can let go at some point.

To do this, she recommends three steps.

1. Decrease altitude and stand next to the child instead of over it

In addition to the overview that parents also need when raising their children, insight into the child's world is of great importance.

You only get this if you take the perspective of the child and try to put yourself in their position and point of view.

In this way, parents can also be better able to recognize what the child needs in the respective situation.

At the same time, parents should also contribute their point of view and weave them into the child's personal perception like pieces of a puzzle.

2. Protect or support: Discern where and when the child needs protection and help

The task of parents is on the one hand to protect their children and on the other hand to support them.

Therefore, letting go does not mean exposing the children to dangerous situations and leaving them alone.

In risky situations that the child cannot handle themselves or from which they would suffer considerable damage, parents must of course protect their children.

So the trick is to distinguish when children need protection and when they “only” need support from their parents.

You can provide support by letting your child try to solve the situation themselves according to their age and by giving helpful impulses if the situation requires it.

Sometimes, depending on the situation, you may need to move into protecting as well.

Depending on where the child is in development, one protects or supports.

3. Teach the child orientation so that they can recognize problems and solve them themselves

In order for your child to be well prepared for situations in which it will eventually have to fend for itself, it needs orientation and a kind of "own radar".

The child's own feelings can best do this, providing cues rather than parental care when a situation becomes dangerous.

Parents should therefore train their children to listen to their feelings.

This, in turn, works best if you establish the right closeness to your child and empathize with his perception.

Children then learn, for example, to understand unpleasant feelings as warning signs and to develop options for action for themselves.

Helicopter parents have to learn to let go

It is often difficult, even for adults, to listen within and explore what it takes to improve a situation.

Parents should therefore first practice for themselves how to perceive feelings, clarify causes and consider alternative courses of action.

Then you can also teach this strategy to your child and learn to let go better.

This article only contains general information on the respective health topic and is therefore not intended for self-diagnosis, treatment or medication.

In no way does it replace a visit to the doctor.

Unfortunately, our editors are not allowed to answer individual questions about clinical pictures.

List of rubrics: © Roger Richter/IMAGO

Source: merkur

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