Helicopter parents harm children's impulse control

Created: 07/30/2022, 3:00 p.m

By: Judith Brown

Children of helicopter parents usually have a low frustration tolerance.

They have poor control of their impulses and emotions.

Part of the development of children is that they learn to deal with frustration from time to time.

After all, everyone faces challenges in life.

The earlier the little ones are confronted with supposed obstacles and, for example, solve conflicts independently, the easier it will be for them to master problems later on.

However, experts have been observing for some time that children nowadays often have a low frustration tolerance.

One reason for this may be the parenting style of so-called helicopter parents.

Helicopter parents harm children's impulse control

Children should learn to regulate and control their impulses and emotions as they develop.

(Iconic image) © Westend61/IMAGO

Frustration tolerance is the learned ability to endure frustrating experiences.

A defiant child who throws himself on the floor screaming, angry and crying is not uncommon at first.

In a way, this behavior is even part of normal development.

It's mostly seen in small children when things don't go the way they want and they get frustrated because of it.

However, it becomes problematic if children have not learned how to deal with setbacks and defeats before they start primary school.

Then it can have serious consequences into adulthood and, according to the educational researcher Prof. Klaus Hurrelmann, the children can develop into "weak personalities".

Scientists see the reason for the increased occurrence of low frustration tolerance in older children in the upbringing style of some parents.

Results of a 2018 study by researchers at the University of Minnesota Twin Cities, University of North Carolina and the University of Zurich show a connection between an overprotective upbringing and poor impulse control.

In addition, these children found it more difficult to control their emotions and had poor school performance.

Lawnmower parents usually step in and do their protégés' homework.

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Low frustration tolerance in children: study shows connection with parenting style

Over a period of more than eight years, the researchers examined 422 children and carried out various tests on them and their mothers.

Among other things, they observed two-year-old children playing and how much the mothers interfered in the game and tried to control it.

"Our study showed that children with helicopter parents may be less able to cope with the demanding demands of growing up," said Nicole Perry of the University of Minnesota Twin Cities in a press release.

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The prognosis for children of overprotective parents, who often find it difficult to let go, is also anything but rosy: "Children who cannot effectively regulate their emotions and behavior are more likely to be disruptive in class, have more problems with it, friends to find and have more difficulties in school.”

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