What is borderline personality disorder - and how can you live with it?

People who suffer from borderline personality disorder are extremely sensitive people, who are easily offended, get angry quickly and especially have difficulty "holding themselves" when the emotions bubble up inside.

A clinical psychologist explains how to identify the disorder and what to do with it

Itamar Pascal

08/16/2022

Tuesday, August 16, 2022, 10:49

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It is very difficult to live when emotions are constantly bubbling inside.

A woman in a storm of emotions (Photo: ShutterStock)

Dealing with criticism, controlling powerful emotions, rejecting gratification, staying in unpleasant situations - these are all challenges that you have certainly faced at many points throughout your life, but have you ever asked yourself if your dealing with these situations is more complex than that of others around you?

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is recognized as a mental disorder that produces an impulsive behavior pattern, which causes continuous instability and greatly affects life, especially in the aspect of managing interpersonal and romantic relationships.

Those who suffer from the disorder are extremely sensitive people, who care a lot about how others perceive them.

They sometimes harshly interpret even the most hidden signs of criticism or lack of sympathy from the environment, are easily offended, get angry quickly and especially have difficulty "holding themselves" when the emotions are bubbling up inside.

Such a situation challenges not only the person himself, but also those who love him, often stay in his presence and want his best.

This can lead to outbursts, deep crises and even violent events, which can be reduced if you recognize the signs in time and get the right help.

To do this, you should deepen your acquaintance with the delusional disorder.

How is borderline personality disorder recognized?

First of all, it is important to emphasize - no one can diagnose mental disorders if they do not have relevant training in mental health professions.

However, we should all be aware of what is going on inside our minds, be curious, ask the right questions and know when it is right to seek professional help.

In this context, it is definitely worth considering professional intervention if you or people you love can identify with the following feelings:

Experiencing powerful emotions that continue to accompany you for hours and even days?

Illustration of a woman in changing moods (Photo: ShutterStock)

• If you experience powerful emotions that continue to accompany you for hours and even days, without significant improvement.

• If you look at life and significant figures in it in a very extreme way - black or white, amazing or terrible, supreme admiration or disgust and complete contempt.

• If you are worried that people will abandon us and do everything to prevent that from happening, even at the cost that you know will hurt us or others.

• If you are experiencing impulsive behavior that may be manifested in binge eating, use of addictive substances, unbridled extravagance or irresponsible driving.

• If you experience outbursts of anger, anxiety, or paranoia that are difficult or impossible to control.

• If you find it difficult to manage long-term relationships and radically change what you think about your partner throughout the relationship.

Borderline personality disorder looks different in women and men

About two decades ago, studies indicated that borderline personality disorder is more common in women at a rate that is 3 times greater than in men, although more recent studies suggest that the disorder is present to a similar extent in women and men.

Despite this, there are studies that show that women make up about 75 percent of the patients who receive mental help to deal with the disorder.

The gap can perhaps be linked to gender differences that prevent some men from asking for the help they need.

According to various estimates, gender affects the actual expression of the disorder, when among women, it is more likely to cause anxiety, post-trauma and eating disorders.

In men, it is more likely to manifest in impulsive behavior, violent outbursts, drug use, and social isolation.

Gender differences prevent some men from seeking the help they need.

An angry man (Photo: ShutterStock)

As is the case with many other mental disorders, in this case too it is difficult to put one's finger on the exact reasons for the development of the difficulties, but nevertheless to see that the disorder is more common in people whose first-degree relatives also suffer from it, as well as in those who experienced childhood traumas, related to neglect, abuse, sexual assault or violence.

An interesting study conducted among women who suffer from the disorder even presented data according to which about 70 percent of the women diagnosed with it suffered from sexual violence in their childhood.

How can you live alongside such significant difficulties?

In the eyes of those dealing with borderline personality disorder, everything they experience is much more significant, powerful and dramatic.

Every emotion is very shaking, anything that is perceived as criticism throws off balance, every moment of anger or anxiety immediately turns into an outburst that is so hard to contain.

In a therapeutic process, first of all we recognize this unique way in which the patient experiences the world.

When we develop awareness of what is happening inside us - it is also easier to understand how to bring about the desired improvement.

One way to do this is through dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT).

It is a process that combines different types of treatments - from exercises based on philosophies from the Far East, through conversations with the therapist to group therapy sessions.

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Such an integrated process allows many people to treat a chronic feeling of emptiness, control anger, reduce paranoid thinking patterns, deal with abandonment anxiety and above all to bring much more stability to a life that in many cases feels very shaky and complex.

It is a way to formulate tools that help control emotions and regulate them in an intelligent way, while giving validation and space to internal experiences and challenges, without trying to run away, hide or be ashamed of them.

When you introduce a greater degree of acceptance and compassion into life - it already affects coping on all levels.

It doesn't happen immediately and of course it doesn't completely remove the difficulties.

It requires deep inner work, a desire for change and above all a lot of courage.

But over time, it makes it possible to understand that it is possible to stay in the midst of suffering or complex situations, it is also possible to deal with unpleasant feelings and act to change destructive patterns that we do not want to rule our lives.

• health

• psychology

Tags

• Borderline Personality Disorder

• psychology

• anger

• Hypersensitivity