Job: Five tips on how to work with colleagues you don't like
Created: 03/11/2022, 17:30
By: Carina Blumenroth
Not all colleagues get along equally well.
Still, you should find a way to deal with people you don't like.
You can't always choose the people around you.
This is especially the case in your own workplace – different characters often come together and sometimes it just doesn’t want to fit together.
However, it makes sense when you try to get along with the other person - and that's where you should start with your own sensitivities.
Working with colleagues you don't like at work
Not all colleagues get along well.
(Icon image) © Aleksei Ivanov/Imago
People who are always in a bad mood, put themselves in the foreground or are always looking for the proverbial fly in the ointment - that can be exhausting and triggering.
Some people hit one nerve and make life and everyday work a little more difficult.
In the vast majority of cases, however, our colleagues do not intentionally want to make life difficult for us.
It's a problem that's more of a self - and the good thing about it?
If the problem is with you, you can work on it in peace.
Reasons why you can't stand your colleagues
Envy Factor: If you dislike co-workers, it could be because that person has something you want too.
This can be recognition from the boss or more money, for example.
Similarity: You recognize similar character traits in a colleague that you have and don't like.
Lack of appreciation: You and your work are not seen or recognized.
They feel rejected and their self-esteem suffers as a result.
The result: the sympathy for the person you associate with it decreases.
Differing Values: We may not like someone because he or she has different values that we don't consider important.
Attention: A colleague always wants to be the center of attention and is always the first to come up with ideas.
This seems to leave little room for other impulses.
If you reflect, the problems are usually our own. The psychologist Nicole Engel reports in an interview with the news portal
Businessinsider
: "Most of the time it comes out that the person who is bothered by it would like to be more self-confident themselves, for example, and also be the center of attention would like to, but is not able to do so at the moment.” It is therefore important that you always first reflect on what the reasons for your dislike could be.
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Five tips on how to deal with it
Self-Reflection: Be clear about the reasons for your antipathy.
Sometimes they lie in the past and affect the present.
It can help to make it clear that the situation is different and has nothing to do with old feelings.
Jump over your own shadow: You don't have to develop good friendships with all of your co-workers, but it is beneficial if you try to jump over your own shadow and focus on the person's positive qualities.
Tolerance: Not everyone shares the same values - learn to accept that other people act differently.
If you open yourself to this, you can broaden your horizons.
Concentrate on the strengths: It's not all black or white - make yourself aware of the strengths of your counterpart.
For this it is necessary that you get to know the person better and get involved in an exchange.
First impressions don't always count: sometimes you don't like people at first sight, but this impression isn't always decisive.
Learn to question and revise your own judgment if necessary.
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Collaborate with colleagues: send I-messages
For example, if you are looking for a conversation with the person in question, then you should definitely pay attention to your choice of words.
Blaming only further poisons the tense atmosphere.
If we assume that a person is always the center of attention and always says something first about everything, then a conversation can be useful if the behavior is on your mind.
You should send I-messages during the conversation, because you are describing your impressions and feelings and they are not universally valid.
When talks don't work
If talks don't work, then you should "radically accept" the situation, as Engel reports to
Business
Insider.
When dealing with the person concerned, it is then better to behave as neutrally as possible.
If your antipathy spreads to your physical health, then you should seek a conversation with your manager. Relaxation exercises, meditation or coaching could also help.
