Entering parenthood does not spare the romantic and sexual life of the couple.
The finding is again confirmed by a survey conducted by Ifop for the Sleepyz.fr site, based on the declarations of 1,001 women and men parents of children under 3, and published on Thursday 1 December.
The survey focused on this new reality induced by the arrival of a child, and surveyed the respondents on their daily life and their intimacy.
Read alsoWhat is sex life like after having a child?
Give in without desire
If childbirth is both a physical and emotional ordeal, the resumption of sexual life - on average more than 7 weeks after birth - is more so, and more particularly for women, notes the survey.
Thus, more than one in five respondents (22%) say they have accepted vaginal intercourse after childbirth, to please their partner but without really wanting to.
The gender gap widens when it comes to overall assessment of the quality of postpartum sexual activity.
Fewer women (76%) than fathers (85%) say they are satisfied.
The age of the respondents also affects this perception: while 84% of mothers aged 18 to 34 say they are satisfied, the proportion drops to 63% for those aged 35 to 49.
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A disturbed relationship with the body
Going deeper into these results, the investigators noticed that the presence of the child could disturb a framework conducive to the intimacy of the couple, by inducing a form of hypervigilance, chronic fatigue and de facto a drop in sexual energy.
From the mothers' point of view, however, this is not the main obstacle to their desire.
Half of them (53%) said they had avoided sex because they were not comfortable with their bodies.
83% of women underline that weight gain during pregnancy has had an impact on their libido and 80% express the fact of feeling less desirable in the eyes of their partner.
Childbirth also leaves despite itself this impression that one is more at home in one's body, and is accompanied by discomfort, both mental and physical for some.
Among women who have experienced a drop in libido, 79% mention a decrease in vaginal sensations, 78% a negative view of the appearance of their genitals and 76% of pain encountered during vaginal penetration.
Read alsoState of sex, body, mind: what we are not told enough about postpartum
Discuss to better rethink your sexuality
In a previous article, the clinical sexologist Camille Bataillon insisted: in terms of postpartum sexuality, the essential thing is not to know when to resume sexual intercourse but rather to know if the desire is present.
“Consent is one of the foundations of the couple”, she underlined.
The midwife Anna Roy, recalled in another article that "nothing obliges us to have immediate recourse to penetration, the important thing is to probe one's desire and to discuss it with one's partner".
The ideal would be to have this conversation before birth, suggested clinical sexologist Camille Bataillon.
“It's time to rethink your sexuality, without judgment and with curiosity, to plan intimate moments, to give yourself pleasure for yourself and for two at the same time”, she specifies.
Before concluding: “All of this takes time and kindness.”