What do you want to be when you grow up, mom? - Walla! health

This is the question that has not given me rest for 30 years of my life.

Even after I already worked in a prestigious position.

Then motherhood came and made me stop for a second and without expecting it, suddenly out of nowhere, the answer was revealed during sleepless nights, while I was diapering, writing and putting to sleep.

let's face it.

A considerable segment of the population chooses their profession based on nothing and nothing.

Usually in the early 20's, we hung out a bit in Bolivia or Rishikesh and then returned to Israel.

For 3 months we were attached to the psychometric tabs and went to an open day or two in one or another faculty.

Make no mistake, I'm not judging you for a moment.

For that matter, the writer of these lines chose to become a lawyer based on a movie starring Ryan Goettling.

He played a young and successful lawyer there and I fell in love with him.

So much so that the next day I enrolled in law studies at the faculty closest to my home (weird, right? I know).

Did it just happen to me?

Definately not.

We package it under the headings 'age 30 crisis', 'maternity leave crisis', 'crisis I have no idea what I love and what message am I conveying to my children?', call it whatever you want, as soon as we have a second to stop the crazy race of life we ​​live In it, the busy routine in which we shuffle from word to word, from circle to circle, we momentarily remember ourselves and wonder: 'Wait.

I feel good?'.

If the foundation is shaky, one that is based on a lack of self-awareness (because who even has the slightest idea who she is at 25?), at the moment of truth the tower of cards we have built may collapse.

Who hasn't been asked as a child by her aunt and uncle, 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Every time I was asked this question I felt a tremor throughout my body because I had no answer.

And so this question accompanied me (and even bothered me) for 30 years.

And when I was already a lawyer and I was running every morning between trains and on an electric scooter to the office where I worked, I had some time to think, and the question 'What would you like to be?'

She also brought a number of friends with her: 'Is this what your life will look like?', 'Is this job exhausting your abilities?'

My stomach flipped.

I knew I didn't want to be a lawyer, but I had no idea what I did???

there is something about the experience of giving birth, actually becoming mothers and the lack of hours of sleep, that create a very big storm of emotions.

Add to this the 'maternity leave' which makes us momentarily stop the life we ​​knew and face a new and unfamiliar reality.

And when we are alone at home with Baby for hours and hours, the wheels of the brain start to move.

When my eldest son was born and made me a mother I felt emotionally overwhelmed.

I was amazed to find out how this small production turns into a person before my eyes.

I wrote to him about how cute he is that he tries to roll over and doesn't give up, I wondered on top of the lines how much laundry a little creature can produce, and how much I love him even though he wakes me up a million times at night.

But really?

I wrote to myself.

I wrote my thoughts, the biggest fears and the dreams that were hidden in my heart and I didn't reveal to anyone, not even to myself.

Suddenly the background noises and beliefs that I grew up with all my life "you need to be employed", "you need a secure job", were silenced and made room for the gut feeling.

It turns out that knowing what we like is only step one on the way to self-realization, the second and equally important step is to 'go for it'.

In a world ruled by money, apart from courage, you also need a 'plan'.

But after I found my answer, suddenly things became clearer: 'I'm not going back to being a lawyer! There's no way'. My gut said '

After I shared my feelings with my partner and received his support, I created a financial plan for myself that would give us some breathing space in the first months, I called my boss and said to him: 'Thank you.

It's not you, it's me'.

Then as if a dam broke inside me, tears did not stop flowing, they were tears of fear and excitement.

I still had no idea how to make a living from writing, but one thing was clear to me: I want to write.

This is the answer to the question I've been looking for for about a million years (or so it felt anyway).

And with this answer I decided to start creating.

I began to treat writing with the seriousness it deserves.

I wrote and published, I wrote and published.

I worked at it even when it seemingly yielded nothing.

Later, doing it led to business opportunities and learning, and these became a source of income.

The best thing that happened is that work no longer felt like 'work' but a way to express my creativity and feel great joy.

everything is perfect?

well no.

Since I decided to live my passion I have felt lost and confused countless times.

There were ups, there were downs.

The fears have not left, they come to visit, especially before bed.

At the same time, I wake up in the morning with feelings of excitement and desire, feelings that I experience for the first time in my life in the business field.

Sometimes it even makes me laugh to call it 'work', I enjoy it so much and that in itself is worth everything.

The journey I went through with myself taught me a lot of insights, but if I have to focus on one, I suppose it would be the understanding that sometimes the answer to the question that concerns us the most will not be found through the thinking brain, sometimes it will be revealed on its own, if only we know how to neutralize background noise and listen to the feelings of the gut and heart.

So how can you do that?

The most effective and simple tool, buy a simple notebook and a pen, start writing morning pages, every morning 3 pages.

What will you write about?

Everything that comes to your mind, in the style of 'Dear Shalom Diaries'.

You don't show this notebook to anyone just like no one knew your thoughts.

It is also not recommended that you go back and read in the notebook.

Intuitive writing on paper is known for its ability to create magic.

And one more little thing.

Remember, today you are a mother.

You have a kid(s) that keep you busy during the day and night.

So don't compare yourself to the uncommitted young girl you were in your 20s.

If you chose to go in a new direction, this requires a large investment.

Do it at the pace that suits you today.

The idea of ​​'morning pages' is taken from the book 'The Artisan's Way' by Julia Cameron.

So what do you want to do when you grow up, mom? (Photo: ShutterStock)

The Jama application was established with the aim of responding to mothers of babies between the ages of birth and three, and to gather for them content, activities, tips from experts and videos that will accompany them throughout this challenging period.

All the content in the application "grows" together with the baby and is precisely adapted to the stages of his development, so that the mothers receive only what is relevant to them and interests them at any given moment.

The Jama app is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and get to know other mothers around them, and to create new and exciting friendships in the fascinating journey.

Search us on Google: https://app.jama.co.il/

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