The Limited Times

Now you can see non-English news...

What makes us fall in love - and does this emotion have an expiration date? - Walla! health

2022-12-08T15:52:04.183Z


Love is an emotion that also brings with it painful and disturbing aspects. So why despite the difficulty do people still choose to fall in love - and does it even pay to love?


New love (Photo: Network 13)

People have a tendency to draw a clear line between logic and emotion - after all, there is nothing more exciting than falling in love with someone who all the signs show is wrong for us, and even love itself sometimes feels like an emotion that upsets our stomach and turns off the voice of reason.

In practice, slowly and gradually, humanity begins to deeply understand this deceptive emotion, which, according to many researchers, makes much more sense than we think.



Love, as we know, is a common and familiar emotion that arises in all people, all over the world.

She crosses cultures and languages, she connects people who would never connect without her, and she has always been the strongest inspiration for art, hard work and even wars and killing.

And like many other characteristics that exist in all humans - love also developed out of an evolutionary need.

To understand what this means, we'll use the most unromantic analogy you can find - signing a lease.

Benjamin KaveladzeI is a doctoral student in psychology who chose to investigate in depth the evolutionary mechanism behind love.

In an article he wrote for The Conversation, he explained what he discovered as follows:



"When you sign a rental contract, the tenant can always find a better apartment and the landlord can find tenants who will pay him more, but the process is so annoying, expensive and tedious for both parties - so they prefer to commit to a term Long, as part of an agreement that is not perfect, but satisfactory. The signed rental agreement provides the required guarantee that will prevent temptations and other proposals to destroy this useful arrangement."

Love too, he explains, is nothing more than a "useful arrangement" from an evolutionary point of view.

Love is nothing more than an evolutionary "useful arrangement".

Illustration of a heart (Photo: ShutterStock)

A study published in the journal Nature shows that modern man has evolved to prefer monogamous relationships, for a period of time that is at least enough to produce offspring.

This tendency obviously has an evolutionary advantage that contributed to the survival and prosperity of the human race, but as we all know, committing to one partner is not always easy, especially when there are so many other options that might be better.

On the other hand, searching for an ideal partner is also a difficult and complex task, certainly in the modern era, but also tens of thousands of years ago.



"In order to solve the problem of commitment and successfully pass on the genes of humans to future generations, evolution may have 'created' love as a 'biological lease agreement.'

Not only "Pro Verbo" and not only for the children

Until now, we probably haven't updated you too much.

It is clear to everyone that if there was no love in the world, couples would probably not tolerate each other so much, just for the benefit of future generations.

However, there are scientists who believe that love did not evolve just to support sexual reproduction and the continuation of the lineage.



For example, scientists studying the evolution of attraction among same-sex couples have found that romantic relationships can provide clear survival advantages even without producing offspring.

Simply put - throughout human history, those who experienced love and followed it - enjoyed higher chances of survival - whether they had children or not.



Additionally, when we are in love, it greatly affects how we perceive others around us.

An interesting study conducted on the subject found that when people are in love, they perceive other people as less attractive than they really are.

This is another evolutionary aspect of falling in love that helped prevent partners from "squinting" to the sides and looking for warmth and love in foreign fields.

Evolution of emotions.

Illustration of an hourglass of love between spouses (Photo: ShutterStock)

However, along with all these, love also produces a series of other emotions that we would be happy to avoid, such as jealousy, obsession and resentment.

They say that only people we really love can hurt us and drive us crazy, but there are studies that claim that all these complex emotions also have benefits that helped our ancestors stay loyal and protect their relationship from external threats.

In other words, we are here today because our ancestors were jealous, obsessive and possessive.

"An improbable connection that becomes plausible by its very presence"

If you feel that love blinds you and makes you make less wise decisions, you may be surprised to find out that those who have studied the subject in depth actually recommend to continue exactly this way.

Studies show that people who love and "see the magic in love" - ​​are also more likely to enjoy long and beneficial relationships.

"Although a magical belief in love and destiny is almost certainly false in terms of the objective data, it helps to establish a long-term commitment to a good partner and is therefore actually considered a rational and wise tendency," claims Cableside.

The neuroscientist Carl Dystor also wrote on the subject that "love is an improbable connection that becomes plausible by its very presence."



However, alongside the beautiful words, it is clear that the great advantage of love sometimes comes at the expense of our personal happiness, or even a healthy perception of reality.

Many people who fall in love feel that they have difficulty thinking clearly, that they see things differently and sometimes also experience more suffering than pleasure.

This is especially true in separation - which, even according to expert psychologists, feels like dealing with death and bereavement.



But even when love produces difficult emotions and challenges, it is worth remembering that behind the clichéd advice to "go with your heart", there is a clear evolutionary logic that allows humanity to thrive and grow for so many years.

The fact that love is "blind" is exactly what makes people believe in miracles and keep looking for it, even after countless disappointments, failures and painful breakups.

Only those who truly believe in this "magic" will be able to maintain the motivation to act to find the relationship that will make their lives healthier, more balanced and happier down the road.

  • health

  • psychology

Tags

  • Love

  • emotions

  • a relationship

Source: walla

All life articles on 2022-12-08

You may like

Trends 24h

Latest

© Communities 2019 - Privacy

The information on this site is from external sources that are not under our control.
The inclusion of any links does not necessarily imply a recommendation or endorse the views expressed within them.