"He's too short", "he laughs too hard", "she's too skinny"... In the life of a single person, it is common to have superficial criteria in mind when looking for the ideal person.
However, these criteria are limiting and can rather lead to self-sabotage in romantic relationships, according to Logan Ury, American researcher in behavioral sciences for the American dating application
Hinge
.
"We spend entire dates wondering 'does he or she tick all the boxes?'
instead of focusing on what he or she makes us feel, ”lamented the researcher, in the caption of an Instagram post on December 8, relayed by the
Insider
site .
Convinced that these criteria are far from guaranteeing the success of a long-term relationship, the specialist has drawn up a list of specific questions to ask yourself when returning from a
date
, to focus more on their emotional feelings.
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The eight questions to ask yourself after a
date
The first three questions consist of questioning our physical and psychological feelings: “what part of me did the person bring out?”, “how did my body feel during the meeting?
Was he tense, relaxed, or somewhere in between?”, and “Do I have more or less energy than I had before the
date
?”.
Then, Logan Ury proposes to analyze and evaluate the past moment.
Did the person arouse our curiosity?
Did she make us laugh?
More precisely, did we feel heard and desirable in his presence?
Finally, the last question is: During the date, "Did I feel captivated, bored, or somewhere in between?"
Something to guide the reflection at the end of our next
date
.
Will the future
crush
be able to tick all these boxes?
