In the documentary
Harry and Meghan
broadcast on Netflix since December 8, Prince Harry accuses the royal family of having caused his couple to experience “ institutional
gaslighting
”.
Quesaco?
Voted "Word of the Year 2022" by Merriam Webster
's Online American Dictionary
,
gaslighting
is a manipulation technique practiced (unsurprisingly) in a toxic relationship, by manipulative profiles, emotional manipulators or even narcissistic perverts.
"The person will seek to make the other guilty of something that he has not yet done or said, with the aim of making him doubt his capacity for discernment", defines Christèle Albaret, psychosociologist and founder of La E-health clinic, online psychological support platform.
Gaslighting is inspired by a 1938 play and movie of the same name, in which a man tries to
trick
his wife into thinking she's going crazy, says the online dictionary site.
“The man's mysterious activities in the attic dim the gas lights in the house, but he maintains with his wife that the lights don't go out, so she can't trust her own perceptions “, is it summed up.
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A cognitive diversion
"The typical example is this or that colleague who constantly cuts off the floor, then dares to say 'stop cutting me off!'
when we do not do it or very little”, illustrates Christèle Albaret.
The person will transfer to the other the responsibility for what he has done.
"Here we use a cognitive diversion that makes the other lose their bearings, it's a process of taking power and taking control."
It's a process of empowerment and control
Christèle Albaret, psychosociologist
Practiced in all spheres of social interaction, whether romantic, friendly, or even parental, this manipulation technique is characterized by its frequency, because it is established over time, indicates the psychosociologist.
The goal is to manipulate, even destroy the other, she says.
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The psychological damage to the victim is significant: he risks ending up doubting himself and his capacity for discernment.
“We end up questioning ourselves, saying that ultimately, it is we who must have misunderstood, until we were convinced that we were wrong,” explains Christèle Albaret.
Responding to
gaslighting
If everyone can be a prey, people who are hypersensitive, empathetic, benevolent, or with low self-esteem, are particularly at risk, warns the psychosociologist.
To find out if you are a victim, Christèle Albaret recommends remaining attentive: “what should alert is the reversal of roles between the culprit and the victim.
From the first astonishment, you have to be suspicious and remain attentive to the recurrence of this type of behavior.
Read alsoAre you easy prey for manipulators?
How to react ?
The important thing is first to become aware of the manipulation.
The psycho-sociologist then advises talking about it to “resource” people, who are neither close nor manipulable by the individual who uses
gaslighting
, in order to reinforce our conviction and our free will.
Finally, "if you feel anxious and if your self-esteem drops, you must urgently consult a therapist to get out of the relationship and repair your self-confidence", concludes the psychosociologist.
