Tantrums in little ones: why does it happen and how will you deal with it? - Walla! health

Do you find yourself stealing from your toddler quite a bit?

Have you noticed him raising his hand at others and you have no idea where he learned it and why the hell is he so angry?

So first of all, you are in good company.

Almost every parent finds their child subject to tantrums from around one and a half years of age onwards.

So what can be done?

, parent and family instructor and NLP facilitator, explains that this is the toddler's way of asking for what he wants or protesting something he wants and didn't get.

This is his way of expressing his protest.

He faces conflict and difficulty, and your parental role, mothers, requires you to be with him and by his side when this happens, not against him.

:

get down to eye level - take a deep breath and get down to eye level, physically.

A positive thought about the child and his coping and your parental role - remind yourself while doing so: right now it's difficult for him and I'm going to help him deal with it (instead of "what a mess he makes me").

Mediation for feelings, inclusion and identification - mediate what he feels.

Yes, even at the age of 1 year and 8 months.

Even if he doesn't understand all the words, he will understand your soft tone, the gentle look in your eyes, the energies, the breath you take and the thought you hold in your head.

Sentences like "I see that you are angry", "You are allowed to be angry", "It is really infuriating" - these are empathy sentences, sentences that contain the unpleasant emotions that the toddler is currently feeling without canceling them.

You have to accept that your child is currently feeling angry and then you mediate it for him, giving him legitimacy for the anger and also identification: "I would also be angry in your place."

An empathetic and creative solution (providing emotional legitimacy alongside setting a boundary) - it is important to emphasize that there is emotional legitimacy, but there is no legitimacy for unacceptable behavior.

If the child cries, lies down on the floor and shouts - this is a natural and normal reaction of a child protesting reality.

Maybe you can write a post when you feel like venting your nerves.

He, on the other hand, can lie down on the floor.

If he hits, throws things or bites, you must say clearly and assertively: "I understand that you are angry and you can cry and shout, but I do not agree to biting or hitting."

Your reaction is the one that will determine whether the behavior then continues or not.

It is important to convey to the toddler unequivocally that this is unacceptable behavior and here you must be aware of how you react, that is: that your tone, words and body language should be consistent.

Sometimes, because of the sweetness of the children, or from the fear of harming them with an overly angry reaction or our difficulty in dealing with the crying that will come afterwards, you may not be sharp and clear in front of them in your message.

Therefore, focus on the message you want to convey, connect to the value found there that is so important for you to assimilate as a boundary and whatever the reaction is, you will deal with it.

Because it is better that you deal with it, than that the border will be crossed again and again due to a lack of clarity.

In conclusion, your parental role is to be by the child's side when he experiences difficulty and conflict which is often expressed in tantrums.

Remember that you are not solving something in the short term, but the functioning and management of the "incident" will have a long-term effect to the extent that the child will learn to manage difficult situations and internal conflicts in front of himself as an adult.

Emotional regulation skills are important for life, and if you look at the big picture and not just at a tantrum as a one-off and transient episode, you can fully and optimally commit to it.

A sad and angry child puts his hands over his ears (Photo: ShutterStock)

The Jama application was established with the aim of responding to mothers of babies between the ages of birth and three, and to gather for them content, activities, tips from experts and videos that will accompany them throughout this challenging period.

All the contents in the application "grow" together with the baby and are precisely adjusted to the stages of his development, so that the mothers receive only what is relevant to them and interests them at any given moment.

The Jama app is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and get to know other mothers around them, and to create new and exciting friendships in the fascinating journey.

Search us on Google: https://app.jama.co.il/

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