He had promised that he would address everything.
And we didn't believe it.
Because he had already promised to tell everything in the documentary Harry & Meghan (released with great fanfare on Netflix in December), and we ended up with six cutesy episodes, so we expected a boring pavement, at best to a new hagiography of Meghan, the perfect but misunderstood and insulted wife.
But here it is: with
Spare
(
Le Suppléant
en VF), his memoirs to be published on January 10, we find ourselves with the fire of a martyr in the style of
Le Bon Fils
(with William in the role of the "bad one", embodied by Macaulay Culkin) .
He had promised that he would address everything.
And that was an understatement.
The one that the tabloids have long nicknamed "Dirty Harry" on his scandalous front pages attacks, flays, and will undoubtedly leave some scars.
In an excerpt from the memoir obtained by the
Guardian
as a preview, it was first learned that Harry suffered “scrapes and bruises” from a violent fight with his brother.
“(William) grabbed me by the collar, ripping my collar off, and knocked me to the ground,” the 38-year-old prince recounts, in a
Dallas
-esque excerpt , as rough as it is grotesque: “I landed on the dog's bowl, which broke under my back, the pieces cut into me".
Read alsoSex, drugs, fight with William, Afghanistan… The unfiltered revelations of Prince Harry in his memoirs
Will, “choleric and vicious”
First news: Prince William is not the ideal son-in-law (and therefore bald) that you all imagined.
Will is angry.
But he is also vicious when he encourages Harry, who is "only" 20 years old, to wear this unfortunate Nazi costume which will make the headlines of the tabloids in 2005. According to extracts obtained by the American daily
Page Six
, the innocent Harry was originally torn between two suits: a pilot disguise or this Nazi uniform.
“I phoned Willy and Kate, and asked them what they thought.
“Nazi uniform!”, They replied”, justifies the Duke of Sussex, as an unfortunate victim…
He had promised that he would address everything.
And we would have liked less.
Memoirs oblige - perhaps?
-, the "substitute" wanted to tell about the day he lost his virginity at 17, in a field behind a crowded pub.
"A humiliating episode with an older woman who loved "
macho horses
"
(which we dare not translate into French, editor's note)
and who treated me like a young stallion”, he relates, spinning an equine metaphor of dubious taste.
Did he need to add the sequel (“I brought her up quickly, after which she spanked me and sent me away”)?.. But we wanted it all, so we'll get it all.
And even his frostbitten penis on Kate and William's wedding day, which appeared after a 200-mile (321 km) charity trek in the Arctic.
In his book, it seemed useful to Harry to recall that on the eve of the royal union, "the ears and the cheeks were on the mend, my tail was not
(written "todger") in English slang, Ed)
”.
Charming
.
Next, the moments when he says he "of course" took cocaine from the age of 17, and when he writes that he was afraid that Camilla would become a "wicked stepmother" - in addition to the cruel incident of William's collar-pulling - serve as nice episodes of
Gossip Girl
.
To wonder if, three days before the release of the book, Harry has not succeeded in being more vulgar than martyr.
To wonder also, what he could say worse, in (all) the pages that remain for us to read.
Podcast Scandals: “Meghan and Harry, chronicle of an announced storm”
SCANDALS PODCAST: MEGHAN AND HARRY