Iris Cole interviews Dr. Oren Tana about depression and its treatment (Walla system)
In the past, it was common to think that seeking mental health treatment indicated that something in the patient was wrong, abnormal, damaged.
But today, many are already aware that therapy is for everyone and can help a wide variety of conditions, most of which are "normal" and very common.
Among the younger generation, there is usually a greater awareness of the importance of mental support, but many adults still have the feeling that they will manage on their own, without assistance.
Although this is a very common perception, it is important to know that seeking treatment does not indicate weakness or a defect, but rather taking responsibility for myself and those who are important to me.
In general, men seek treatment less than women.
Although today you can see more diverse models of masculinity, there is still a social discourse on gender roles.
There is less social legitimacy for men to seek help and admit difficulty.
The man is still expected to be strong, stable and robust, and this perception conflicts, as it were, with emotional expression or with crying and pain, which may open up and surface during the therapeutic process.
Only recently did we see the crying men at the World Cup and the extensive media coverage of the "phenomenon".
In fact, there is great power in a person giving space to their vulnerability.
Men, just like women, sometimes need treatment, and in such situations you should think about the personal need and less about "what they will say".
It hurts to touch the wounds
Many are afraid of what happens during the treatment and because they do not know what is expected of them during it.
They don't know how to start the conversation, what is right for them to reveal in therapy, what to talk about and what not to.
It is important to know that the treatment room is a safe and professional space where the patient has a place to get to know himself, understand what he is going through, reach insights and choose the right choices for himself accompanied by a professional.
The patient is the one who dictates the pace, and usually things happen gradually.
As the relationship becomes more secure and trust is established between the parties, the space is created to open up the difficulties.
Sometimes it is really difficult, painful and even scary to touch the wounds, and many times we use mechanisms of denial and avoidance, mechanisms that protect us, but also limit us.
In cases of loss, for example, it is very difficult to talk about the loss and express the feelings in words.
The emotion is overwhelming, and sometimes the feeling is created that the pain is unbearable.
In the treatment, slowly and carefully, you can touch the painful places and open them, and also reduce the pain and reach relief.
In this safe space there are those who will support and help, and the rate of progress depends, as mentioned, only on the patient.
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To the full article
Money and time also stop us
Applying for treatment requires organization: searching for the appropriate therapist, phone calls for initial coordination, traveling to treatment, finding parking and more.
All of these are sometimes barriers that prevent seeking treatment, because it is not always easy to mobilize the forces and get organized.
The feeling is of another obstacle that needs to be overcome, so it seems easier to give up.
In such cases, you can turn to therapeutic institutes that offer a wide variety of therapists throughout the country and with one phone call help the patient find the appropriate professional.
More on the subject:
5 mistakes people make during psychotherapy
5 questions you always wanted to ask a psychologist
Treatment also requires mobilization and resources - energies, initiative, inquiries, as well as time and money.
It is important to remember that this is an investment in yourself and you should place it high in the priorities, because over time this investment significantly improves the quality of life.
If the expense is too heavy, you can look for more accessible alternatives, for example through the insurance, through the workplace or in therapeutic institutes that offer a discounted price.
And if there is no connection with the therapist?
Here too, as in every field of life, chemistry between the parties is important.
In the first meeting, you should give the treatment a chance, but if there is a feeling of lack of chemistry later on, you should open it up with the therapist.
You can talk about it, and sometimes it is precisely from this place that the connection is made.
The treatment is an opportunity to "practice" sharing and talking about feelings in relationships, it is a safe space where you can also express your feelings about the treatment itself.
If the relationship and connection do not improve, you can of course end the treatment or switch to another therapist.
How do you convince a loved one to go to treatment?
If a person from our family or close friends needs, in our opinion, emotional care, we should offer him the possibility openly, to give it legitimacy.
Just say: 'Maybe you'll go to therapy?
I think it can help you.'
You can ask: what are you afraid of?
What prevents you from accessing treatment?
and talk about it.
You can also tell about a personal experience (if there was one): I was also in therapy, and it helped me a lot.
There are people who need this push, and sometimes it's hard to take the step alone.
It hurts, it will hurt, but in the end it will be released.
Illustration of psychological therapy (Photo: ShutterStock)
You can also try to make the treatment accessible for that person, save him the search and recommendations stage and give him the phone number of a relevant therapist.
It's possible that the same person will hang around with the phone number for a year and only then call, and that's fine: sometimes it takes time to mature, and you have to respect that.
Some people need to distance themselves a little from the crisis, and only then are they able to seek treatment.
Everyone and their own pace.
It is important to remember that therapy is a tool that helps to free yourself from barriers and unfavorable patterns, to know yourself, to understand yourself, to understand what makes you good, what makes you bad, what are the challenges facing you and how they are related to your personal and family history.
Sometimes we unconsciously choose our fixed pattern, and a conversation about the topic helps us choose differently to feel better about ourselves.
There are options for treatment at a reduced price (also at our center), and I hope you will be able to overcome all the other barriers thanks to this article.
Marina Stark is an MSW attorney, a certified marriage and family therapist and clinical director at the Ella Center for Mental Coping with Loss
health
psychology
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care
psychologist
depression
crisis