Aldana Costa (28) and Alex Martínez (32) felt it in their bodies but did not put it into words.
Something like an
open secret
that struggles to get out until one day it detonates like a vital bomb and changes everything forever.
With a seven-year history as a couple, shared projects and a whole life ahead of them,
there was something that was not working behind closed doors
.
They turned it around in verbose talks, hours of silence, feelings and mixed emotions.
Until one hinge day, of
sexual sincerity
, they found the tip of the ball to the problem.
"I NEED A CHANGE. I need something else
,” she said.
“I need the same thing,” he agreed.
Simple and direct.
End of a stage of a classic and monogamous sexuality.
Beginning of another multiple, with its own codes and rules, where
the word infidelity does not fit
.
Aldana told Alex that she needed something else.
And he agreed.
Photo Martin Bonetto
It was the kick.
With the decision made, she a beautician, he a master builder, they advanced.
They quickly dived into an unknown world where they were finding answers.
First they opened the game to threesomes and in a short time they jumped into the swinger universe that today they "enjoy" without hesitation and in which they plan to stay until they drop, if that ever happens.
They are proudly swingers.
“Alex first indulged me in threesomes and we experimented with another man.
Later, we tried with a woman to please him and
I recognized myself as bisexual
.
Right away, we began to interact with other couples ”, Aldana recounts the first steps of her swinger sexuality.
“
Swapping partners is not something depraved
.
It is experiencing another type of sexuality in which more and more we are the ones who dare to live it and tell it.
For us it means above all to
explore the fantasies of each one
”, She assures.
In that "exploring new experiences",
the couple revived like an ember in the fire
.
They were finding everything and for all tastes.
Today the sexual range includes
“more vanilla” encounters
, that is, crosses with couples with whom they first meet to talk and get to know each other and then advance or not in the swinger modality.
They also try
“group swinger”
situations – which “are not orgies”, Aldana clarifies – where they meet three or four other couples and do “swapping”.
They are accessed in bars or clubs, private parties or via websites and apps.
“It may be that you like the other's partner or not and then you see what you do.
It is not something that you have to live compulsorily.
Like everything in life,
there is always the possibility of saying no
and above all telling your partner that you are not going to do it or that it bothers you that they do this or that because it does not close you down”, explains Aldana.
The couple says the change revitalized them.
Photo Martin Bonetto
In fact, his worst experience was almost at startup, Aldana shares.
They ran into another couple who wanted to have a threesome with just Alex, leaving her out of it at many times.
In addition, the man in the duo wanted to control all the movements.
The rules were broken and the crossing of couples did not prosper.
Very different was a group swinger meeting to which, in addition to couples, they ended up joining alone.
They remember it as a milestone.
"It was spectacular," they describe.
“The swinger world always existed but it was hidden.
Now you live more freely.
A sample of that was the swinger cruise (NdR the Azamara Pursuit, the first swinger cruise to dock in the port of Buenos Aires).
She broke a bit with the mystery and secrecy.
A lot of people began to really be interested in what it is to be a swinger, letting go a bit of the taboo imposed by the accusatory gaze of society”, Aldana emphasizes.
“Goodbye to the taboo”
, agrees Isaac Ain (64), manager of Star New, one of the first swingers clubs in the city of Buenos Aires.
“We were always very
persecuted and bastardized
.
Although we need to grow mentally as a society, there is more openness than in the 90s when we opened the club in Flores”, compares Ain.
And he clarifies: “
The swinger is not the same as the partygoer
.
It is exchanging partners with your partner or partner with years of living together and perhaps children in common.
It is not taking sexual photos of yourself with others and others in a pool and then uploading them to the networks.
To me that's degradation."
Isaac Ain, owner of Star New, one of the first swinger bars in the city.
Photo German Garcia Adrasti
In his case, he opens the doors of the club
on Fridays and Saturdays with reservation
.
Unlike the 90s, which set up meetings for about 20 couples, today about 100 usually get together in addition to solos and solos.
If there is a coincidence, they follow it in private spaces or in hotels in the area that are part of the circuit and
accept the swinger scene
.
There are the clubs but there
are also endless offers on websites and apps
.
Isaac maintains that clubs are safe spaces.
For his part, Aldana admits that you have to be careful not to fall into
fake sites or profiles
.
She and Alex read a lot the recommendations that other couples make so as not to be scammed or fall into sexual traps.
Many of these recommendations are made by couples they know from the swinger world, which is a
letter of confidence to move forward
.
In her story and on a daily basis,
her sexual life coexists without obstacles with family life
.
Aldana and Alex have a six-year-old son with whom they share as much time as possible like any mother or father who works long hours a day.
If the door of desire opens,
they call the nanny
to cover for them and meet other couples in scheduled encounters.
This usually happens on weekends.
“My environment knows about my sexual choice and does not judge me.
In Alex's case, some know and some don't.
This has nothing to do with our son who we raised with all our love.
He knows that mom and dad go out to have fun and that's enough for now
, ”clarifies Aldana.
"We try to go out every weekend," completes Alex.
"We were very bastardized," says Isaac Ain.
Photo German Garcia Adrasti
Sure of the chosen sexual path, the beautician decided to join the program "La Hora Secretum" on YouTube as a panelist, where she talks and shares the experiences of the swinger universe via streaming
once a week
: the second season will start shortly.
Like the cruise, he points out, it is
a way of naturalizing
what is currently happening in many couple relationships.
For his part, Isaac uploads anecdotes from his swinger club to his YouTube channel "Sexo con Isaac". "Incredible things happened to us, such as
finding parents with children
. don't see each other," he says.
The couple says that they would no longer return to their previous sexuality.
Photo Martin Bonetto
Do they regret anything?
Did you ever think of going back to the beginning, where there were only two sexually? Clarín
asked
Aldana and Alex.
“It is a process that advances and does not stop.
There is no return to the previous sexuality.
That's how we're happy," they said.
Three years have passed since the hinge day.
They have been together for a decade now.
For them, change was and is the norm.
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