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Rubén Ochandiano: "I am a lone wolf despite myself"


The 42-year-old actor celebrates his 25th career, premieres the film 'Lobo feroz' and the contest 'Traitors España', confesses his addiction to work and his difficulty finding a partner. "Loneliness haunts me," he assumes

We don't know each other personally, but we follow each other on Twitter and, paradoxically, a rare and immediate connection is established between us, difficult to achieve even among casual friends.

As if there was no ice to break, since there never was water.

Rubén Ochandiano summons me for lunch at the Ocho y Medio bookstore-café, perhaps the most movie-loving place in Madrid, deserted at this hour, and we chat surrounded by books, posters and photos of mythical stars of his trade who attend, mute. , to meet

No one, therefore, raises their eyebrows or is in the least perturbed when the interviewee, from time to time, speaks of himself in feminine without any pose or affectation, a custom that has been respected in these lines.

We are surrounded in this paper bookstore.

Are you more digital or analog?

I force myself to be digital because the times demand it, they almost demand it, but I am a girl from the provinces of the 50s. I am very timid for many things.

Are you telling me with that blonde chick punk combo?

I have put it on and I have dyed myself to be cute in the promotion of the film.

But my grandmother lives in me, who was a housewife and a mother of those who scrubbed on her knees.

One has grown up listening according to what litany and, deep down, she is a timid person and fearful of life.

His last name is Ochandiano de Higes.

Is he the good boy of a lifetime?

Zero good boy.

Then I have the air of a marquis, I like to live well and I'm classist and snob, but I'm not posh.

I'm from Usera [a working-class neighborhood in Madrid].

My father worked in a bank and my mother is a Digestive doctor, a pioneer in her family.

She has just retired.

My daughter wants to be a psychiatrist.

There is a lot of work there.

More than the one we want to acknowledge.

Today, if someone doesn't take Escitalopram [antidepressant drug], don't trust them.

As if he doesn't drink

gin and tonics


I've been single for eight years and I don't even tell you how long I've been without sex, and it's very complicated

Do you take it?

Gin and tonics


Escitalopram, at times;

Not right now, but if I need it, it doesn't scare me.

Chameleónico yes that is a while.

Watching him act in Big

Bad Wolf

and live, they seem like two different people.

I change a lot of


I sound familiar to you, but you can't locate me, so I can take the metro with peace of mind.

Is that good for an actor?

Now I would tell you that popularity makes it much easier for them to count on you.

All my life I have been accompanied by a kind of prestigious halo, which is very useful for supporting roles, but to play a

leading role

or access certain projects, right now the impact you have on Instagram counts much more.

You don't eat prestige?

If you're smart, yes.

I've been doing it for 25 years.

I have never put glasses.

Well, for a little while, to pay for my studies, which my parents paid for, but to play the rebel.

I am a hard worker like few others.

Many actors complain a lot.

I don't.

I'm interested in four things and the rest makes me sweat, but for what I like I'm a junkie.

Are you a workaholic?

Absolutely: if I don't act, write or direct, I get very little, sad.

I can do without almost everything: sex, alcohol.

I can have Spartan discipline for everything, but if I'm not in contact with creativity I become impossible.

Is that why you took antidepressants?

Once it was due to work: I didn't know how to manage that


of mine and I put myself as a doormat for the director, above myself.

But in recent times it has been more for the heart: loneliness haunts me.

Even my therapist tells me that he has gotten out of hand.

I've been single for eight years and I don't even tell you how long I've been without sex, and it's very complicated.

For not wanting or not being able to?

Because I am a girl from the provinces of the 50s and the codes that are used in the gay community generate rejection.

What codes?

The “wait for me at home and I'll nail it to you”.

The bar counter no longer exists.

That scheduling thing.

I've tried, of course, I've tried everything, but I'm terrible at it.

Sex without flirting is very boring and if there is no trust, fucking is very difficult.

Why are you telling me all this?

What do I know: it will be because of the Escitalopram.

I'm fed up with performative goodness in which you can't say anything.

What a pain in the ass: pansy-quinoa

Confessing these things is not very popular in any


especially not in the gay group.

Look, I'm fed up with performative goodness in which you can't say anything.

What a pain in the ass: pansy-quinoa.

We have accepted to be victims of


and nothing can be said.

How scary and how horrible.

What have you gained and what have you lost in your 25 years as an actor?

Well, I think I've had to regain courage and faith.

And I have gained consistency, solidity and a certain independence.

I still need the validation, but not as much.

Whose validation?


that has infinite tentacles.

Since the director pats you on the back to compare you with the generation and profile partner that he is doing things that you are not.

That, before, could leave me two days in bed.

But, when one travels a thorny path and the quicksand sinks, wake up.

Now I look much more at my little piece of happiness, my little pile of books, my glass of wine.

What do you admire in others?

The capacity for pleasure, for hedonism without guilt.

What my mother does, for example, that she signs up for a bombing in order to enjoy being with people.

I am a joy, and I try, but I am a son of a bitch with myself, and it is difficult for me to be social.

Well, now he's premiering a

reality show,

Traitors España

(since February 3 on HBO Max) in which he plays with people.

I'm going to tell you the truth.

I considered it a lot, because I am very mushroom, and very classist.

What I want is for them to give me the acting award at Cannes.

But, when they proposed it to me, I thought: I've been working for 25 years, it's been 23 years since I've been nominated for a Goya: fuck them.

This was a game.

I consulted with my


, my therapist, my parents.

I was at a time when I had money, Escitalopram

had more to do with that moment

and I gave myself permission to play.

And, look, I had a great time.

Are you still a Hollywood academic?

Have you voted for your favorite Oscar movies yet?

Yes, as long as you continue to give the panicle you continue to be.

It goes out for about 500 bucks a year, more or less like the Academy in Spain.

And it's worth it.

Voting for the Oscars gives me everything.

I am a great match, a hard-working, independent, affectionate guy, I like to fuck and I carry my backpack without asking anyone to hold it for me.

I'm the boyfriend you're missing

Will he go to the after party?

Since there are few tickets, this year they are going to do parallel parties in New York and London, and I will go to the one in London.

Speaking of parties, have you ever been kissed without your permission, as some men have reported that happened at the

Feroz Awards


Yes. Go ahead, I think that whoever feels attacked has every right to denounce it.

For my part, I believe that there are gray areas and I have been able to recognize when it was something susceptible to becoming something ugly and when it was someone out of place, or heavy, and that's it.

It seems to me that the fact that there are gray areas humanizes us.

The world cup is going to fall.

Yes, if we tweet this they will call me a son of a bitch, and they will say: "What you want is to get smacked in the face by a dick, you scoundrel."

Because that's what Twitter is, saying “hello, good morning” and having them answer “and you whore”.

Is there a


me too pending?

I think that at this moment we are at the base of the pyramid of what is socially accepted.

It seems like we've got it over with, but actually, femininity is still the worst thing in a guy.

Homophobia is so structural that we all are: even ourselves.

A male gay with a normative body is accepted.

A fat one falls for the octopus.

There should be a movement to stop frivolizing the place where the bus is.

Do you feel part of it?

Hopefully: I'm looking for a bus, it would be much better for me.

I'm looking for one, because I feel like a total lone wolf and despite myself.

It is very difficult for me to find a group to belong to, and I really want it.

I have my parents, I love them.

I have friends, but either they are parents, or married and you have to schedule the meetings a month away.

There is no such thing as coming from work and meeting someone for a

gin and tonic


Besides, it's not worth everyone.

It is that this being classist is fatal.

Of course, that's how it sounds.

I'm not talking about classism about social class.

It's classism of wanting someone to speak my language, a language that seduces me, that excites me.

When I have a date and a guy spends half an hour talking to me about quantum programming, I'm thinking: “Why don't you just die”.

Unfortunately, they put very few things on me and everything else brings it to my head.

In that sense I am classist.

Well, take advantage and sell yourself.

I am a great match, a hard-working, independent, affectionate guy, I like to fuck and I carry my backpack without asking anyone to hold it for me.

I'm the boyfriend you're missing.


Rubén Ochandiano (Madrid, 42 years old) plays good-bad, or bad-good in

Lobo feroz

, his latest film premiere, where he shares the limelight with Adriana Ugarte, in an exhibition of that ambiguity that is his trademark.

We can also see him play the role in the 'Traitors España' contest, where he competes with athletes and celebrities for an award in the style of the great television



The cult actor who has filmed from Almodóvar to Sodebergh or Iñárritu, no longer falls off his rings for that or for anything else. 

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Source: elparis

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