You pick him up from kindergarten quickly so you can make it to the older one's class on time, say a quick "hello" to the other parents (if you even know them) and politely decline an invitation to go to the playground together in the afternoon, as mentioned, because of the eldest's schedule. Sounds familiar to you. ? This is what the second child's routine looks like in the hours after the frame.
This happens because he is still small and has fewer options for afternoon activities, which for the older brother has already become an inseparable part of the schedule - classes, plays, playdates and meetings at the playground.
The second child joins you and the older one and that's how it will look until he's bigger and he has plans too, and then you'll have to learn to synchronize again.
Second hand objects and parents
The older brother not only outlines the schedule after kindergarten, but also bequeaths clothes and toys to him that his little brother receives. It's not that we never buy him new, but if we already have one and it's in good condition - why not use it? Both save money and keep the ball rolling from purchasing more plastic or textiles. Sometimes it can seem a little like neglect to you and thoughts like "I don't like it, I bought everything for the first child and everything is recycled for the little one" may appear, but for your second child it probably doesn't bother you at all.
What else comes after use is you , the parents. You already have two children at home and the operation of everything is certainly not easy: meals, showers, games, dealing with challenges - everything has to be doubled, and as a result you are much less fresh than you were when you had only one child. The energies, nerves and referrals You are emotionally reduced due to being parents for the second time, and the fact that there is an older child at home who needs to deal with other difficulties commensurate with his age leaves you, naturally, less free for the little one.
Wait with the feelings of guilt
If you identify with what is written, you are probably dealing with feelings of guilt on the subject that intensify especially after reading, and this is exactly the time to stop and stop beating yourself up.
Your second child does not know anything else and has nothing to compare himself to.
He wasn't there when the eldest was born, and he doesn't know how you were with him and what it's like to be an only child who receives all your energies and all your attention.
He was born into a family with an older brother and this is how his world looks, from day one.
You, the parents, do the best for him and for your family, manage another day and another evening (and night), play, feed, shower, spoil - you are the best parents for your children, don't forget.
At the same time, if you feel there is room for improvement in certain places, work on it and make changes where you can.
It can be one-on-one time you dedicate to the little one, even if it means taking him out of preschool a little earlier so you can have a moment to yourself before the big brother joins.
And every day, even if you just put in your mind that you would like to be more peaceful for the experience of the little one with you - occasionally it can succeed.
Many children in the back seat of the car (Photo: ShutterStock, Collin Quinn Lomax)
The Jama application was established with the aim of responding to mothers of babies between the ages of birth and three, and to gather for them content, activities, tips from experts and videos that will accompany them throughout this challenging period.
All the content in the application "grows" together with the baby and is precisely adapted to the stages of his development, so that the mothers receive only what is relevant to them and interests them at any given moment.
The Jama app is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and get to know other mothers around them, and to create new and exciting friendships in the fascinating journey.
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Daniel Saranetsky, in collaboration with JAMA
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