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Without feeling like a job interview: the golden tips that will help you on the first date Israel today

2023-02-14T08:35:34.087Z


Love is celebrated in the streets, and some are left alone • So what are they talking about, what do you do when there are awkward silences, and who has to pay the bill? • Second part of the guide


Valentine's has arrived, and all around us you can find a whole celebration of hearts, flowers and kitschy gifts.

There are those who celebrate this day with great joy, and in a relationship, and there are those who come to this day single, and are just waiting for it to pass.

We have prepared a two-part guide for you, which will help you get to the first date - and go through it successfully.

The first part of the guide >>

The percentage of singles between the ages of 30-49 in Israel is 19%, which means that there are about half a million singles in Israel, according to research findings that show that 25% of young people between the ages of 25-34 today will never be able to create a long-term relationship.

• Going on a date?

The signs that will tell you if the other party is interested in you

• Tinder belongs to young people?

The app that changes the rules of the game

• Who will pay the bill?

This is what our dates will look like in the coming year

so what are we doing?

The first date barrier is a well-known problem, and in the previous part of the guide we told you about Tahel (pseudonym), an intelligent and talented 30-year-old single, who can't get past the first date.

"Every time I feel that the date went well and that the guy liked me, to my surprise he doesn't contact me after the meeting. I don't understand why this is happening to me and what I'm doing wrong," she said.

Tahel came for another treatment at the clinic, and with sparkling eyes told about the new guy she met.

"This time it will be fine. I feel more confident in myself and he sounds like a lovely guy. I inquired about him and got good impressions.

Tahal applied the advice from the previous treatment, noting that they talked on the phone before the meeting.

"His voice was pleasant, and we set a place to meet. This week I also practiced breathing and positive thoughts, and I hope it will work," she said.

Later in the conversation, she shares that in parallel with the process of preparing for the date, she is still not sure how to manage the date itself.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm in an interview, and that we're actually interrogating each other," she explained.

"I am busy thinking about how to make the date a pleasant conversation and not a police investigation. What to talk about, and what should not be brought up in the first meeting. I really hope that this time it will work and there will be more meetings later," she said.

How do you make the first date go smoothly?, Photo: GettyImages

So what do you do on the first date?

golden tips

What are they talking about?

It is important to remember that the date is neither an interview nor an investigation.

The atmosphere should be pleasant and fun.

Remember to take a deep breath before the date and arrive refreshed, optimistic and in as good a mood as possible.

Be yourself:

Be real.

Behave naturally and without unnecessary poses.

Don't be afraid of silence

: there are those whose fear of silence makes them talk a lot and about unnecessary things.

If you don't feel comfortable, you can relate to the silence and talk about the awkwardness on a first date.

Be interested:

listen to the other side, be genuinely interested in him, and ask questions, but without making him feel like he is under cross-examination.

Let the other party express himself, and give him a conversation space of at least 5-10 minutes.

You can hold hands on the first date, photo: GettyImages

What do we do?

It is important to combine humor and short jokes to break the ice, but without touching on too many jokes.

Tell about your childhood and personal history.

You can talk about work, hobbies and ambitions in life.

What don't you do and what don't you talk about?

Avoid talking about

mythological exes

and unrequited loves.

Avoid telling about

medical history

- physical and mental.

If the dates develop well, share these details with the other party later.

Avoid using the cell phone.

Do not flirt with other women or men.

Avoid cynicism.

There is a subtle but significant difference between healthy humor that draws closer and cynicism that discourages and distances.

Payment:

studies prove that even in the modern age women prefer that the man pay for the first date, but in any case - it is recommended that the woman offer to split.

When the payment arrives, don't wait, and immediately take out your wallet.

And what about touching on the first date?

On the first date it is recommended to look into each other's eyes.

If the date is flowing, and you went on a trip - you can hold hands.

And what about intimate relationships?

Even in the modern age it is not recommended to have relations on the first date.

Most studies show that a man with whom you had a relationship on the first date - will not continue on the next date.

Successfully!

Dr. Ronit Sharon is a lecturer at the Hebrew University. She directs a relationship institute for couple and individual therapy with branches nationwide.

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Source: israelhayom

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