"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" - who thought that Dickens' wonderful sentence would so accurately describe the contrast faced by parents of close children?
Unlike twins, which cannot be chosen, siblings who are born with a small difference from each other are often the result of a parental decision that is made consciously (unless it is an unintentional pregnancy), despite the complexity of the matter.
At first it seems like almost impossible logistics - how do you deal with a baby when the big brother is also a baby, or at most a very, very young toddler?
How do you function with so few hours of sleep?
But there are those who say that at some point it just feels perfect.
So what is so charming about tight children and when does all this magic actually happen?
Let's start from the beginning, and it's not easy at all:
what are the challenges of close-knit children?
· Baby loop that never ends
It feels like a movie that has no beginning and no end - in the device on the counter countless bottles are drying, pacifiers are scattered all over the house, somehow you are always between feedings and sleeping and changing and you are actually almost raising twins, but with one difference: they are not in the same spot.
You started with one, the other joined and it goes on and feels like an eternity of all the baby stuff.
· You don't sleep at all
as a result of the never-ending loop, your nights also don't manage to return to themselves, because by the time the first baby's sleep managed to stabilize, the second arrived and...everything starts from the beginning.
· Where is your life?
They are in the hold, right now.
You are raising two little ones and they require a lot of resources from you.
It is difficult to find enough time for yourselves, for entertainment, for vacations without them, even for quiet evenings at home.
Life will come back to you when it grows up a bit and gives you a breathing space.
· Not easy financially
As we know, in Israel there is no free education from the age of 0, and many parents find themselves paying thousands of shekels a month to private settings.
Do the math for two private settings for two children under the age of three and you got astronomical sums that are paid only for the education.
The fun of close children
· Finishing with the baby stuff at once
unlike a big difference between siblings, when they are close - all dealing with diapers, formulas, waking up at night and the general lack of life, ends at the same time.
Suddenly you'll notice that they've grown a bit and you're gaining air.
When the difference between the siblings is large (relatively), many parents get a slap in the face from reality, which brings them back to all the "good" in a small baby.
So with tights you don't suddenly go back after you've gotten used to the good life (until the next child, if there is one).
· Rare friendship between brothers
It is true that not all close siblings are friends, but many of them are, and most are the best.
Being close in age encourages them to form a close relationship, and if they are members of the same sex, this increases the chances of a deep and stable friendship that grows over the years.
· Common interests
Think about how difficult it is to spend an afternoon with a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old.
Each requires a different approach.
While one wants to run to the amusement facilities, the other rolls on the surface and is at the beginning of the tasting phase.
It is not easy to juggle two people whose lives are so different from each other.
When it comes to close ones, they are always more or less at the same stage.
You can enjoy joint activities, tick off meals and just spend time together (and even pray that they will have fun and keep themselves busy, when you are only in the area to watch).
When does all this good happen?
Parents of couples testify that at some point, when the eldest approaches the age of three, it starts to get easier, and as the years go by it will get even better.
The beginning is difficult, there is no doubt, but when you gather patience, patience and help from the outside - everything goes much more smoothly.
Then comes the third child.
Girls playing with dishes (Photo: ShutterStock)
The Jama application was established with the aim of responding to mothers of babies between the ages of birth and three, and to gather for them content, activities, tips from experts and videos that will accompany them throughout this challenging period.
All the content in the application "grows" together with the baby and is precisely adapted to the stages of his development, so that the mothers receive only what is relevant to them and interests them at any given moment.
The Jama app is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and get to know other mothers around them, and to create new and exciting friendships in the fascinating journey.
Search us on Google: https://app.jama.co.il/
Daniel Saranetsky, in collaboration with JAMA
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