On video: Demonstrations against the legal revolution in various locations throughout the country (photo: Reuven Castro, Jeremy Portnoy, Karin Sagi, Rai Ash, use according to Section 27 A of the Copyright Law)
In recent weeks, a demonstration has become commonplace.
Many families even turned it into a family pastime: prepare a sign, prepare a bag with a drink and some snacks, arrange with a few friends and set off.
It doesn't matter if we are a family of "for" or a family of "against", the most important thing is to convey the right message to our children, a message that does not matter what we think - a coin has two sides, and they are allowed to be the other side of the coin if that is what they choose .
How do you do that?
There is something ambivalent about protests.
On the one hand, people are fighting for their rights, setting an example for their children that in order to achieve change you have to make a change and not just wait for it to happen.
People are ready to stand for hours at an intersection with a sign, for the hope that this is how change will come.
On the other hand, the demonstration itself harms the agenda, the movement and may even, at times, convey a bully message to the children to a certain extent: "Only by force do they understand, if you want something you have to shout. Turn tables and block central intersections. We will show them what it is."
harsh world
Children in demonstrations against the legal coup (Photo: Reuven Castro)
At this point, another question also arises: how do we mediate to children what we are fighting for and where, with all the anger and focused activity, can we convey to our children a message that our opinion "is ours" and that they are allowed to think and believe differently from us?
Even if we are sure that we are 100% right, we also know in the same breath that there is another side to the same argument, who may also be 100% right or at least not 100% wrong.
The most important message is - the truth is complex
Let's take it to the home arena for a moment: you really don't want your children to stop fighting, what's more, it's important that you teach them how to manage a fight.
How to manage it at age 3 in front of their siblings, how to manage it at age 8 in front of their friends, and also how to manage it in front of the teacher, the commander in the army or even the spouse.
In order to teach them to fight, it is important to teach them that there are almost always two sides to every coin, and even when the person in front of them really annoys them, it may be important what they think and that you should always listen to the other side.
Of course, sometimes there is also a place to negotiate, but it is important to do it in a pleasant way and in such a way that will help the other party to listen to you.
When parents go to a demonstration, it is very important that they explain to their children why they are going to the demonstration, and it is very important that the explanation be educational.
I recommend explaining to the children what is actually happening right now, what they agree with the government, what they disagree with - and why.
As soon as parents can give 2-3 examples of something they agree with and even 30 examples of why they disagree, with a plausible explanation (which does not include only swearing and profanity), the children will receive the message that the truth is complex.
The message must be more complex than that.
A sign at a demonstration against the legal coup (Photo: Reuven Castro)
It is also important that the parents really give the child permission to expressly disagree with them, in order to avoid situations in which the child will not want to share with the parents what he feels, or even think that maybe something is wrong with him if he feels differently than his parents.
It is also important for the parents to explain to their child that even if he thinks completely opposite to them, they love him and appreciate him just as much.
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As soon as the parents give the child the "permission" to feel differently, they actually also demonstrate to him the value they want to convey to him: we live in a democratic country and we are not ready for someone to force us to think like him, which is exactly what is happening today.
Exactly what both sides feel in the current "war", each side feels that they are not ready to accept what the other side decides for them.
It is important that the parents learn, it is important that the parents say what they feel, and it is important that the parents pass on to their children values that they believe in.
And yet, the personal example has greater weight.
The personal example is expressed in actions and the way in which the parents try to follow their values.
Naama Tzobal is a parent and family guide
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