It used to be simple and spontaneous.
A couple on a couple's vacation (Photo: ShutterStock, Shutterstock)
Can't believe it, it's happening.
You are finally going on a couples vacation.
It used to be simple and spontaneous and your only concern was to ask for the days off from the workplace, but from the moment the children were born - it's already a different story.
You have to arrange for a babysitter, usually a grandparent, explain to them in detail about the children's agenda, transport the children to them or prepare your house for them, if they prefer to stay with you.
There will be those who will also help other people such as friends, parents from kindergarten, neighbors - anyone who can lend a hand will be welcomed.
After you have ticked off the logistics, it is time to share with the children about your absence and how the days will look like without you.
How will you do it?
When?
What can help you and them and what is the policy regarding video calls while on vacation?
Here are some useful tips:
Remember the key word: the terma
The terma, from the word term, describes what you will have to do before and in this case - preparation.
Children need order, stability and certainty.
The more oriented they are and know what awaits them, the easier it will be for them to deal with certain situations, especially new ones or ones they are not used to.
The absence of the parents from home can be difficult, for some more and for some less, and even if your children are wrapped in warmth and love from the family that will take care of them, they can miss and feel difficulty during these days.
Therefore, depending on their age, share them because soon you will be going on vacation and will not be at home for a few days.
Don't start talking about it too far in advance, but not the day before either.
Tell them who will look after them, where, who will take them out of the kindergarten and also that you will return in a few days, and that if they miss you and want you can make remote video calls (we will expand on this later).
Share them in planning the trip
Children aged two-three will already be able to understand and be interested in the details related to your trip.
You can explain to them about the plane and the pilot who flies it, about the place you are traveling to (for example: there is a sea and high mountains there) and also show pictures.
Children who express an interest can find relief in this sharing because they know where mom and dad will be and it can also be a basis for conversation when you return, especially when you show them your photos in the places you told them about before the trip.
Ask grandparents to give the children a small surprise from you every day (Photo: ShutterStock)
Be sure to give them empowering messages
"even though you will miss them, you will manage to overcome and enjoy when we are not here", "you will show grandparents what great children you are" - messages in this style will give the children the feeling that you trust them and appreciate them, which can encourage them during the days that you will be gone at home
Of course, in addition to empowerment, it is important that you wrap them in a lot of love.
Tell them that you will miss them too, and every time it gets a little hard you will remember that it is only for a few days and then you will come back, and of course you love them the most in the world.
Leave souvenirs or small gifts from you
A suggestion for a nice gesture: ask grandparents to give the children a small surprise from you every day, something that will make their day a little easier and help them feel loved.
This will require you to organize in advance, but very, very minimally.
Video calls - yes or no?
There are two schools of thought regarding the video calls: they can calm the longing and make both parties happy, or they can do the exact opposite - deepen the difficulty.
There are children who will react in tears when they see you through the phone screen, there are those who will get angry and those who will ignore, but there will be children who will actually wait for a call from you, will share with you everything that happened to them today and will even be interested in your well-being.
You know the characters in action and you can estimate what your children's reaction will be to such a conversation.
Plus, you can just try.
Won't work - don't do it the next day.
Even though the guilt is bubbling up inside of you, remind yourself that you have the right to be more than a parent.
You are allowed to go on vacation, and despite the difficulty that may be caused to your children - you are allowed to have a lot of fun during this time.
Do what you can to make it easier for them and most likely everything will go smoothly.
As long as you have the opportunity and received help, take advantage of the opportunity, go on vacation and come back with good energy for your children.
More in Walla!
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In collaboration with KKL-Junk
A young couple goes on vacation without children (Photo: ShutterStock, PR)
The Jama application was established with the aim of responding to mothers of babies between the ages of birth and three, and to gather for them content, activities, tips from experts and videos that will accompany them throughout this challenging period.
All the content in the application "grows" together with the baby and is precisely adapted to the stages of his development, so that the mothers receive only what is relevant to them and interests them at any given moment.
The Jama app is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and get to know other mothers around them, and to create new and exciting friendships in the fascinating journey.
Search us on Google: https://app.jama.co.il/
Daniel Saranetsky, in collaboration with JAMA
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