"When I'm on drugs I'm invincible": Cara Delevingne tells about the detox - voila! celebs

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The model and actress Cara Delevingne (30) has already known quite a few stormy moments in her life, but one of the highlights was undoubtedly last September, when the paparazzi caught her looking neglected and sleepy, which caused concern among many.

In a new interview with Vogue magazine, she talks about the wake-up call she received after the photos, about the addiction to drugs and alcohol that started as a child and about her day-to-day dealings with the rehab process she is going through.

"I didn't sleep, I wasn't fine. It tore my heart because I thought I was having fun, but at some point I realized that I didn't look good" she says about the paparazzi photos in question and says that the paparazzi photos caused her great embarrassment and embarrassment, which in the end was an urgent wake-up call for her To stay away from drugs and alcohol and deal with her deeper personal issues: "Sometimes you need a reality check, so in a way these pictures are something I should be grateful for."

Cara Delevingne (photo: screenshot, Instagram)

Delvin tells about her first experience with alcohol, when she was only 7 years old, during a family wedding: "I woke up at my grandmother's house in my bedroom with a hangover."

She later says that she started drinking more often when she was a teenager: "I started drinking and partying. I needed to escape and change my reality."

The model experienced a difficult life as a child and teenager, by the age of 10 she was already receiving prescriptions for sleeping pills to treat insomnia from which she suffered.

She was diagnosed with dyspraxia, which affects motor function and coordination: "This was the beginning of mental problems and unintentional self-harm."

Which led to a variety of treatments she underwent.

At the age of 15, she suffered a breakdown and took anti-depressants to help her deal with the deep sense of loneliness she felt: "I took medication and it just saved my life. It wasn't a chemical imbalance, it was a response to trauma. I didn't reveal the hole I had inside, the vortex The real one in me. I still think there is a part of diagnosis and labeling that is harmful. There were so many times I was encouraged to take medication."

She suffers bouts of depression throughout different stages of her life, but in 2020 when the Corona started, her condition began to deteriorate again, after the relationship with her partner at the time,

, ended after two years of relationship: "And then I was alone, really alone. It was a low point. I had a complete existential crisis. My whole sense of belonging and my identity was wrapped up in my work. And when that disappeared, I felt like I had no purpose. I was simply worth nothing Without my job and it was scary. Instead of taking the time to really learn something new or do something new, I got really caught up in misery, it was a really sad time."

Another crisis came near her 30th birthday: "I always knew that things would have to change in my 30s, because the way I was living was impossible. Change was needed, but I fought it so much. It was like a funeral for my previous life, Farewell to Idan. So I decided I'm going to celebrate as hard as I can, because this is the end. "When I'm on drugs, I have a feeling that I'm invincible.

I put myself at risk in these moments because I don't care about my life."

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After her paparazzi photos from the airport were published, her childhood friends gathered around her: "From September, I just needed support. I had to start reaching out for help. And my childhood friends from the age of 13 arrived and we all started crying. They looked at me and said, you deserve a chance to be happy."

Delvin says: "I've had several interventions in the past, but I wasn't ready and that's a problem. If you're not on the floor and ready to get up, you won't get up. In September, I was ready."

She checked herself into rehab at the end of last year, knowing she needed support and treatment: "I haven't gone to therapy for three years. I always thought you should do therapy when times are bad, but actually you have to do it when they're good. You have to do it consistently. It's never will be completely healed, but I'm fine with that. Before this, it was always a quick-healing thing, and it helped for a minute, but it never got to the deeper stuff. This time, I realized that 12-step therapy was the best thing for me. Of course, this process has its ups and downs. and ups and downs, but I started to understand so much. It doesn't happen overnight."

Today she has been clean for four months and is in a relationship with musician

, with whom she started dating a little over a year ago: "She's the type of person who has boundaries, and the stage with me responded that she wasn't going to accept my situation for much longer, and that was a blessing in disguise. This is the first time I feel like I'm in a relationship and not trying to save someone."

Regarding the future, she says: "My work is important, but it is secondary, because my self-work is the most important thing."

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