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It's much harder to be a parent in the evenings. How do you deal with it? - Walla! health

2023-03-17T16:01:36.605Z


At first they don't want to shower, then they don't want to go out. They are not hungry, then they want toast. And a second before they collapse - they want to talk about life. Familiar? You should read it


Don't want to sleep, want to go crazy.

A tired mother and an alert child (Photo: ShutterStock)

You know how the child doesn't want to get in the shower - and then he doesn't want to get out of the shower?

And the fact that after the shower he really doesn't know what he wants to eat (for sure, he doesn't want what you suggested) and then he just wants one more story.

and one more.

and one more.

And then he finally goes to bed, you feel that in a moment you will be able to rest a bit, but then comes the bathroom stage, the hunger and the need to tell everything that happened in kindergarten (what happened to the "fun" you answered at noon)?

At this point you ask yourself, why is it so complicated?



First we will explain that you are not alone in this feeling, and the evening hours are challenging in most homes.

While the evening is going on and the child is conducting professional negotiations for a long time, the parents feel that their gas tank is empty.

There is no more room to contain "I don't feel like it", there is no patience for "just one more story", and certainly there is no energy to go fill another glass of water and accompany the child to the bathroom, for the fifth time.

The goal is for the child to go to sleep alone.

Say good night and leave the room.

That the child will just go to sleep already.

Why don't they want to sleep?

Let's try to examine things from the child's point of view: sleeping is not "simple".

Going to sleep is a kind of farewell - farewell to the day and those around it.

There is something threatening at night, and sometimes the child goes to sleep with the feeling that the world continues to go on without him.

feeling of missing out.

In the professional language it is called: FOMO.

And now add to that also fears and emotional difficulties that children have.

In the end, for a child to go to sleep easily, the emphasis should be on a pleasant atmosphere and not on "ticking off the evening".

To manage the evening in a gentle way, I call it: a time capsule - quality, fun, essential, important and healing time for both parties.

To create such a time capsule, we must understand why the child behaves this way and ask ourselves the following questions:


Does he lack time with his parents?

Does he have a hard time in kindergarten or school?

Is this a time of fear?

Is the house undergoing some kind of change such as pregnancy, childbirth, moving or some kind of crisis?



If we realized that there is nothing that requires special attention, teach the children to join the evening schedule and help them manage it nicely. That way we will reach a situation where all the time we waste every evening on arguments and rushes, we can invest in another story. We can say to the child: You know? I had a lot of fun with you tonight and we even have time left, let's read another story. Then the child will learn that it is worth it to flow with a pleasant evening, everyone will enjoy the evening and go to bed feeling good.

More in Walla!

Your children do not have sleep problems, they have difficulty with separation

To the full article

It works, really.

A tired mother drinks coffee and holds a baby (Photo: ShutterStock)

It is very important to teach the child that there is a schedule for the evening. There is a time for fun, there is a time for a bath, there is a time for dinner, there is a time for a sleep ritual and there is a time to go to sleep. It is also important to teach the child to work together according to the schedule and not to try to delay everyone's time part of the evening

We need to teach the child that our time is not unlimited.

There is a lot of time allotted to the child, and the child can also manage this time together with us.

Later this evening this time will end, and all other questions and desires will have to wait until tomorrow.

Obviously, we as parents will notice that sometimes the child has difficulty and we will give him full attention even when the time is up - but this will not happen every day and for no reason.



I know that such a time capsule may sound unreliable, but I guarantee that if you change the language at home to a positive one, and do it in a correct and constructive way that gives the child both boundaries and security, the whole dynamic changes for the better and then you can enjoy both worlds: also accompanying children to sleep with a ritual , and also that afterwards they will fall asleep independently from their place and calm.



Naama Tzobal is a parent and family guide

  • health

  • parenthood

Tags

  • parenthood

  • Children

Source: walla

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