Tired parents with a baby (Photo: ShutterStock)
When a new baby joins the family - everyone undergoes a change.
Family dynamics change when you become parents for the first time.
Nega Hila Mutana
, parent and family instructor and NLP facilitator, suggests that, in the midst of the great change you are going through, observe it and understand the process that is happening, both for you and for your partner.
Parenting brings quite a few concerns and the relationship takes on a different angle, because you are no longer "just you", but there is another wonderful thing that connects you.
The same wonderful thing, your joint creation, also overflows with quite a few opinions and points of view that meet the two of you - each in his inner world and his perception of reality, and remind you of the babies you were, the parenting you experienced and evoke thoughts about the parents you dream of becoming.
You, as mothers, are attached to the baby from the womb and know him closely when he goes out into the world.
There is therefore a prior familiarity that the partner does not have who did not carry him in his womb and did not feel every kick, belch or rollover and of course - did not go through the process of childbirth and recovery from it.
This is the reason why the connection of the baby with the father sometimes does not happen immediately (by the way, it does not always happen immediately for mothers either).
Since the equation between the two of you is "shaken" to some extent due to the entry of a small factor into it, it is important that you talk to your partner about what you want and need.
Without making assumptions, without expecting, but saying exactly what you want, need and expect from him.
What can you want, for example?
Sleep, eat healthy (and ask him to cut you a salad once a day), enjoy half an hour to an hour of quiet waking time for yourself, participate in the night shifts so that you can continue to sleep and accumulate a sequence of hours of sleep and even talk about the future in terms of returning to work or staying at home.
Sometimes you will find that things you thought before the birth will change after it and that's okay.
Your feelings are dynamic and you must be attentive to them in order to be able to communicate them outwardly, to your partner.
Talk about things
to reduce frustration - talk about things.
Communication is the key to everything, especially after birth.
When the world changes, it is even necessary that you say clearly what you need, what you need.
Leave no room for doubt and hints.
On the other hand, understand your partner.
He, too, has undergone change, shock and fear.
It's possible that he too has difficulty accommodating the change and the physical pain you experienced, from the side.
With all the difficulty of considering the other side (after all, you carried you, your child and went through the physical, emotional and mental change), try to see your partner from a loving point of view, one who wants to succeed with you in this journey called "parenting".
Share it, show it, get excited with it, experience the exciting moments with it, the ones that thrill your heart.
As long as you are together, you will discover sensitivity and clear judgment and criticism - you will be able to embrace even the difficult moments together with the exciting moments, in the same loving and accommodating arms.
To reduce frustration - talk about things (Photo: ShutterStock)
The Jama application was established with the aim of responding to mothers of babies between the ages of birth and three, and to gather for them content, activities, tips from experts and videos that will accompany them throughout this challenging period.
All the content in the application "grows" together with the baby and is precisely adapted to the stages of his development, so that the mothers receive only what is relevant to them and interests them at any given moment.
The Jama app is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and get to know other mothers around them, and to create new and exciting friendships in the fascinating journey.
Search us on Google: https://app.jama.co.il/
Daniel Saranetsky, in collaboration with JAMA