A toddler hugs his pregnant mother (Photo: ShutterStock)
One of the biggest and most significant changes in your child's life will appear when a new baby joins the family and for him - a little brother. The change for him can be reinforcing and encouraging, but may also be experienced as a crisis and cause a certain regression expressed in crying, bedwetting, arousing fears and aggressive behavior towards the baby when he is born.
Liraz Sneh Or, a certified parent counselor from the Adler Institute and a social worker, suggests several ways to deal with the addition of a new baby to the family:
Before birth
, avoid telling your child about the pregnancy even before the belly has popped up. The gospel will not be tangible and understandable, and a long time it will take him to wait until the birth may create confusion and uncertainty in him.
Don't make promises and see the new baby joining the family as too ideal. Statements such as "you'll have fun" or "you'll have someone to play with" will turn out to be quite misleading after the little baby is born and the older brother expects fun and games, but will find that in the first few months the baby mostly sleeps many hours and will not be a partner for games. This unfulfilled expectation can lead to frustration, so it's a good idea to reflect on the expected reality. Try, for example, to say: "We will have a new baby and at first he will sleep a lot", "At first a baby will sleep in a crib in mom and dad's room", etc.
Do not introduce further changes into the child's life before and in mask for birth. Potty training, moving to a bigger bed, a new apartment, a new room, weaning from a pacifier or moving to a new framework - all these can add difficulty to the big change that will soon take place in your older child's life.
Involve your child in preparing for the baby's arrival, such as buying new things. Allow him to choose the colors (for example - the color for the pacifier) and allow him to be a partner in arranging the room where the baby will arrive. This sharing will help the child feel useful, needed and meaningful and will strengthen his sense of belonging to the expanding family unit.
A pregnant woman with a small child (Photo: ShutterStock)
After birth
, bring the older child closer to the baby. You may feel the need to protect your little one from noise or unintentional touching from his older brother, but you should try not to push the two apart. Give Big Brother a defined role that he will be responsible for and thus build in him the feeling that he is meaningful and needed. For example, "mandate" him to bring you the diaper balm whenever you need it.
Clarify to the child the rules of behavior with the baby and communicate the expectation of him clearly. The rules will give him order and security in the new reality. Use sentences, for example: "You can stroke him with your hands and feet but not your head" or "You can hold him but only in the presence of mom or dad."
Maintain your older child's daily routine, send him to school regularly and continue the classes or meetings with friends in the garden. If necessary, get help from family members or a babysitter. Of course, we must continue to adhere to the daily schedule, meals and hours of sleep as it was before the new baby arrived at home - as much as possible. For the older child, routine will be an anchor for order, stability and security.
And finally, be attentive to your child's need to be your little baby, as it was just a moment ago. It is true that he is no longer the smallest, but he is allowed to indulge and also demand your full attention. Don't tell him, "Stop crying, you're already a big boy." Understand his need to feel sometimes the little baby who just wants a hug, warmth and love.
More in Walla!
The Complete Guide: Everything You Need to Know Before and After Catheterization
Presented by Shahal
The Jama app was established in order to provide a solution for mothers of babies between birth and age three, and to gather content, activities, tips from experts and videos that will accompany them throughout this challenging period. All the content in the app "grows" together with the baby and is precisely adapted to his developmental stages, so that mothers receive only what is relevant to them and interests them at any given moment.
The Jama app is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and meet other mothers around them, and create new and exciting friendships on this fascinating journey.
Google us: https://app.jama.co.il/
Daniel Sarantzky, in association with JAMA
- health
- New parents
Tags
- Children
- Parents
