What if you repressed your emotions? Five signs that prove yes

In the realm of communication, emotions hold a prominent place. In the 1970s, the American psychologist Paul Ekman, a pioneer and world-renowned expert on nonverbal language, identified six fundamental ones, whose facial expressions can be easily recognized across all cultures: joy, sadness, fear, anger, surprise and disgust. On a daily basis, some excel in the art of concealing them, often unconsciously. "This stems from an intra-psychic conflict, when the mind is confronted with a reality that is inconsistent with our deep values," explains psychiatrist Marine Colombel. Fear then pushes us to repress the emotion. "We fear that it will overwhelm us, we are afraid of no longer knowing how to control it and living forever with it," says psychologist Delphine Py. But beware of the pressure cooker effect. By dint of containing too many buried feelings, they end up one day or another exploding in our faces, warn specialists. To guard against it and protect your mental health, let's take a look at the warning signs of an emotion hidden under the carpet.

In video, how to evacuate stress quickly in the office?

Seeking distractions at all costs

This reflex is quite common. By touching, even for a moment, an unpleasant emotion, the human being seeks to protect himself automatically and implements avoidance strategies to divert the attention of the brain. "People in emotional avoidance situations have a hard time asking themselves. They prefer to be in action rather than focusing on the present moment," notes Dr. Marine Colombel, also author of Sortir des ruminations mentales (1). "Thus, some invest more than reason in their work or in sport, illustrates psychologist Delphine Py. Others will give in to compulsion, whether it's going shopping, binge-watching TV or even eating. All opportunities are good not to feel. When it is no longer manageable, some people may go so far as to opt for a chemical anesthetic, such as drugs or alcohol."

" READ ALSO "I have everything to be happy but I lack something": what the eternal dissatisfaction says about us

Ruminating at night

When you put a lid on an emotional state, an annoyance after a dispute with your partner or a college, for example, the risk is that the emotion will resurface at one time or another. This moment usually occurs in the evening, a period conducive to parasitic ruminations and negative thoughts related to the past day. Psychologist Delphine Py describes this phenomenon as a "rebound effect", where emotion reappears to us like a "flash" with moderate to high intensity. "These ruminations lead to anxiety and increase the risk of experiencing sleep disturbances," she notes.

The more intense and contained the emotion, the more stress hormones the body will secrete.

Dr. Marine Colombel, psychiatrist

Sometimes, some can have nightmares, especially people suffering from post-traumatic stress, says psychiatrist Marine Colombel. "Their brains block emotions during the trauma to protect themselves," says the doctor. If this information is not then processed properly, it reappears as soon as it can, plunging us back into the moment, which can be extremely painful."

Chronic pain

If the state of our nights says a lot about our well-being, the body can also leave us some clues. As confirmed by Dr. Marine Colombel, the psyche has a strong influence on the body and it can lead to physical manifestations of stress, such as sweating, rapid heart rate or tremors to somatization. More precisely, the mind will transform emotional difficulties into body pain, such as migraines, dysphagia (difficulty swallowing food and drink), rheumatism, eczema... The psyche can also exacerbate emotional difficulties.

Somatization and its extent are based on the "chain of stress", the psychiatrist tells us. "The more intense and contained the emotion, the more stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline will secrete," says Marine Colombel. This increase will result in an overall inflammation of the body. This will weaken the immune system and bring out different chronic symptoms depending on the individual."

Read alsoDizziness, sore throat, stomach ... What your body wants to tell you

Being on edge

Fighting anger or sadness consumes a lot of energy. Except that by letting this resentment drag on too much, the ball of wool grows, grows, until one exceeds its tolerance threshold. "A contained emotion always triggers new ones," says psychologist Delphine Py, also author of the Guide de ta santé mentale (2). Anger often leads to frustration, for example. And when we reach the point of no return, the last emotion we feel makes us come out of our hinges, sometimes for unimportant things, like a spilled cup of coffee or an awkward comment."

Difficulty showing empathy

The way we behave with others says a lot about our affects. The style of humor sometimes indicates a malaise. "This is the case of the cynical person, who cannot bear to be around certain emotions, often because he does not understand them or because he does not recognize them. In reality, the lover of black humor can hide in him a real feeling of distress or sadness, "informs psychiatrist Marine Colombel.

In rarer cases, intolerance to emotion can lead to alexithymia, the inability to feel certain emotions or great difficulty putting a word on a feeling. "This can take root in childhood, if the expression of emotions was not valued in the family and in education," reports Delphine Py.

Reflexes to adopt

Regularly avoiding one's emotions, intentionally or unintentionally, is not pathology, but this personality trait is disabling. To restore balance, the transition to psychotherapy can help put words on one's feelings and those of others. Also, multiple activities invite you to let go and reconnect the mind-body link. Among the most popular, specialists mention mindfulness meditation, coloring, or sports such as swimming or walking.

(1) Sortir des ruminations mentales, by Marine Colombel, published by Marabout, 192 p., €19.90.
(2) Le guide de ta santé mentale, by Delphine Py, published by Marabout, 208 p., €16.90.