Do you remember Chanel's launch of the men's perfume Égoïste in the 1980s?
A fragrance aiming to draw the “olfactory portrait of a man of character, fascinating and elusive”, if we are to believe the promotional documentation of the time.
In #MeFirst
!
A manifesto for feminine selfishness,
Corinne Maier wonders: would men have more of a right to be selfish than women?
“We consider that it is the nature of the former, while we traditionally associate the female sex with gentleness, tenderness, altruism.
In almost all countries, it is women who are responsible for caring for the family, children and elderly parents.
The famous care…” observes the author.
And, in fact, women carry out 75% of unpaid care and support work in the world, and spend three times more time on household chores and four times more time caring for children than men.
What if it was time, after #MeToo, to launch #MeFirst?
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Madame Figaro.
– What do you mean by selfishness?
Corinne Maier.
–
The selfishness I am talking about is not that of the navel, circumscribed to “my home, my husband, my job, my children”, which limits my horizon, nor that of competition, where we try to crush others to improve their lot.
I'm talking about a form of freedom and independence, an inner compass to follow: it's about living for yourself rather than stepping aside for the benefit of the well-being of others, as the norm would have it. social.
No doubt, it's great to take care of others, but why such gender inequality in the distribution of tasks?
Women have less time for themselves and are much more tired, as several studies have shown.
Today, 17% of unemployed women have left their job to care for a loved one, compared to 1% of men;
75% of part-time jobs are taken up by young mothers after giving birth, and only 18% of companies are headed by a director…
What do you think drives women to such alienation?
Love, of course.
“The word love does not have at all the same meaning for both sexes, and this is one of the sources of the serious misunderstandings which separate them… Love is not in the life of the man only an occupation while he is the very life of the woman,” observed Simone de Beauvoir in
The Second Sex.
Love is conjugated very early in the feminine.
Researchers have observed that from childhood, little girls seek approval more than little boys, and go out of their way to obtain it.
From the playground, they play games that depict love, whether for a future husband or a baby, when their male peers prefer competitive games... Girls are expected to be good, discreet , studious… everything, except selfish!
You argue that there is a second economy, just as there is a second sex... That is to say?
I borrow the term from Katrine Marçal, who wrote
Adam Smith's Dinner.
The latter, author of
The Wealth of Nations
(
in 1776, Editor's note
), established the broad outlines of economic liberalism: wealth comes from work, and work is driven by interest and profit.
There is in fact an official economy of exchange of goods and services, but there is another, an economy of facilitation where women carry out tasks without receiving any salary, from preparing meals to organizing children's day.
Without this second economy, the first would collapse: without women to relieve them, men would not be able to go about their business.
This is about shaking up the norms so that they participate more in this invisible economy.
It is wrong to think that the situation has changed: despite an improvement in the status of women in Western countries, the distribution of domestic tasks between men and women has not changed for several decades.
You are talking about
babywashing
:
explanation…?
This is the idea according to which women today can reconcile professional life, children and a relationship, because “it’s all a question of organization.”
It's all about financial means, and it's actually about combining two jobs, one of which is paid and the other not, the second hindering the prospects for advancement and salary of the first.
Then, we tend to idealize everything that concerns the child: taking care of babies is glorified.
Fathers today do more than fathers did in the past, but as all parents take care of their children more than thirty years ago, we remain at a ratio of one third for men, two thirds for women. …
Today, 17% of unemployed women have left their job to care for a loved one, compared to 1% of men
Corinne Maier
So the woman would always be second?
In romantic relationships, women tend to shape their bodies and their faces as well as their words to try to correspond to what they imagine to be the expectations of their male partner: I quote, in
#MeFirst!,
Benoîte Groult, George Sand , Clara Malraux, who, out of love, adapted their tastes, their hobbies, their interests to those of their husband... before shaking off the chains to gain their independence, which generally led to the end of the marriage...
You are advocating egotherapy. What does it consist of?
Firstly, have a place reserved for you – Virginia Woolf's famous room of one's own.
Or a room that locks, if possible outside the family sphere, in order to isolate yourself and keep moments for yourself.
You must also pay attention to the choice of your spouse: will he be ready to roll up his sleeves in the family setting?
Many men hold an egalitarian discourse and delude themselves by having the impression of doing their part, when this is not true, as the figures show.
This is where the question of children comes in: their arrival marks the moment when inequality in the distribution of domestic tasks within a couple breaks out.
We expect enormous involvement from mothers, much greater than twenty or thirty years ago: you have to breastfeed, spend all your time with your baby, take care of all your physical and psychological needs.
Therefore, why not dare to be
childfree
or assume being a “bad” mother, or even a “bad” daughter?
»
And there is no reason why the father should not also wet his shirt by going to pick up his children from karate or the violin, and why the sons and sons-in-law should not also take care of the parents aged…
#MeFirst!
Manifesto for feminine selfishness, Press