“The idea was to follow the common thread of Clarisse's Vendée Globe, but also to draw on her personal story: that of an almost thirty-year-old who is reconverting, with whom we can identify, even if not everyone is going to embark on a solo round-the-world trip… Then we grafted different themes onto the story of the race – how we sleep, how we eat in a boat that never stops, for example .
It was not a question of giving lessons but of making people understand the complexity of an offshore race.
So says Maud Bénézit, the designer and co-author of
I'm going but I'm afraid, diary of a sailor
, which recounts the extraordinary journey of skipper Clarisse Crémer, from her first Mini Transat to the Vendée Globe completed on February 3 2021, where she beat the female record held for twenty years by Ellen MacArthur.
A book as rich as it is fascinating, which brings to life the extraordinary journey of this high-level sportswoman, graduate of HEC, and ambassador of the Madame Figaro
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Madame Figaro.-Why did you want to make a comic book about your Vendée Globe adventure?
Clarisse Crémer.-
It was born from the desire to share what I had experienced during this race, and from a certain appetite for writing and the object that is the book.
I have often made videos about my experience at sea and the comic seems to me to be at the intersection between the images of the video and the words of the story.
But the idea would probably never have occurred to me if I had not met Maud Bénézit and if I had not been able to project myself into her drawing, her way of telling stories and her caustic humor, which allowed me to add the right amount of self-deprecation.
The objective was to make a comic book reaching the widest possible audience, and not just sailing enthusiasts, with a work that could inspire even those who are not interested in the world of the sea.
At the end of the comic, you say you are often brought back to your identity as a woman...
As a sailor, you are on the water without paying attention to your gender: it is a mixed sport and there is only one classification.
We never think that on one side of the boat there is a man or a woman.
The comic also wanted to talk about this: during the three months that I spent offshore, I never thought about “as a woman”, it was not a subject.
Then I arrived, I completed my tour on February 3, 2021
(after eighty-seven days, two hours, 24 minutes and 25 seconds at sea, Editor's note)
and no one spoke to me again since of this female record or almost.
I understand the media reflex: it's what sets me apart from other participants.
But my story and the adventures I had at sea have little to do with the summary that our society draws from it.
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However, were you brought back there in spite of yourself, when your pregnancy resulted in the withdrawal of your previous sponsor, Banque Populaire, fortunately since replaced by L'Occitane?
It is certain that since the Vendée Globe, I have grown and had other experiences!
I used to think that it was enough to fit in and go with the flow, but I realized that the movement was started and led by and for men, and that there are times when a woman physically cannot not follow this movement.
Which requires changes.
But the comic strip stops there and we only briefly approach the subject – How to start a family when you are a top athlete?
Is it possible to pursue a career if pregnant?
– because there was already a lot to tell.
I'm going but I'm afraid DR
And in your case, what has becoming a mother changed?
Both everything and nothing.
It is always revolutionary in one's life to have a child.
Organization, leisure activities, the way we see the world, are no longer the same.
But as far as my character is concerned, it's something that just comes in addition;
my personality was not transformed.
The adaptations are mainly logistical: currently, I have a project between England and France, and if I didn't have children, I would be there much more often taking care of my boat.
My team understands that I can't be away as much as before.
But what is important, precisely, is not to make a comparison: I have a child, that is part of the initial premise and we have to live with it.
The sportswoman that I am at sea has not changed, we simply have to ensure that we take good care of my daughter on land, especially since my husband
(
the navigator Tanguy Le Turquais,
Editor's note)
and I are on the same races.
It’s my sister-in-law, who lives with us, who acts as a third parent…
Has life as a sailor had any consequences on your relationship?
I wasn't a sailor when I met Tanguy, but he was, and him having these ambitious and sometimes restrictive projects has always been part of how we operate.
We had been together for four or five years when I became skipper myself and so it was he who had to adapt... This pace and this way of life suits us both for the moment, we is extremely lucky to be able to devote himself to these projects, but we know – without being able to predict what will happen exactly – that this will not be able to continue forever.
We demand a lot from those around us, we are very much at the center of things, which can create a form of imbalance.
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With this comic, did you want to tell your story differently?
My recent history has shown it: I am ready to quit my job if I am not taken as I am.
At sea, I don't know how to play a role and a sponsor has to accept it.
In my videos, I tell who I am, my objective, why I am returning to the water, I give myself away... With the comic, I was able to add nuance, thanks to Maud, I was able to take two hundred pages to say that nothing is simple and that we are not all in one piece.
People remember the courage or the incredible nature of this type of adventure, but we also have to talk about the doubts, the questions, the fear of not being up to the task, and simply fear.
Maud and I have in common that we always want to dig deep and see all aspects of an argument, down to the smallest detail.
This comic strip is undoubtedly the finest and most complete version of me, compared to all the videos I have made or all the portraits and reports that have been written or filmed.
Basically, it's all in the title: I'm going there but I'm afraid.
I'm going but I'm afraid
, Clarisse Crémer and Maud Bénézit, ed.
Delcourt, 216 p., €24.95