Not hearing your alarm ring, missing a train, forgetting a medical appointment... What if these everyday worries didn't happen by chance?
Like this alarm failure which allowed us to leave the apartment later and meet this old friend, not seen for years?
This is the whole principle of the “Burnt toast theory”.
For six months on TikTok, thousands of users have adopted this expression as a philosophy of life.
In the original video - which now has more than 1.2 million views - a young woman under the pseudonym @offthe__grid explains the theory: "If you burn your toast before work and it adds 5 to 10 minutes to your commute could save you from disaster.
Maybe it saves you from a car accident, [...] from running into someone you don't want to meet."
She thus invites her subscribers to change their perspective on the small inconveniences of life.
“They either save us from something more harmful or they push us in the right direction,” she says.
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Also read: Will your romantic relationship overcome the “bird test”?
Take Back Control
“The burnt toast theory helps me accept the things I cannot control, it allows me to have a little more peace in my life,” says the young woman in her video.
If we adapt this way of thinking to love life, a breakup would, for example, be an opportunity to meet someone who suits us better.
According to psychologist Lisette Sanchez, interviewed by the American HuffPost website, in an article published on January 18, thinking in this way reassures us and can “help us better cope with emotionally distressing situations.”
We then use the concept of “retrospective bias”, that is to say that “we convince ourselves that a past event was more predictable than it was in reality, because this reassures us in the face of unforeseen”.
Trusting destiny actually gives us the impression of regaining control over the ups and downs of life.
For Han Ren, another clinical psychologist interviewed by HuffPost, we thus cultivate patience, hope and wonder in the face of possible irritations.
For the most anxious among us, “it has considerable healing potential,” she believes.
And he adds: “If we manage to get over small annoyances, we save precious energy.”
@offthe__grid
Monday morning thoughts shoutout to the internet for sharing this wisdom so passing it along #therapytiktok #advice #anxiousattachment #fyp
original sound - faye
Toxic positivity
Thinking that “everything always happens for a good reason” can also seem like toxic positivity for some.
It is therefore not a question of repressing all negative emotions, nor of forcing oneself to feel gratitude instead of frustration.
Particularly “when faced with events that don’t make sense, such as the loss of a loved one;
or facing emotions such as grief, anger or shame,” we read later in the article.
Ultimately, it is up to everyone to observe whether the burnt toast theory brings them – or not – reassurance.