Drew Barrymore on the red carpet, 16.5.2022/GettyImages, Michael Loccisano/
Drew Barrymore shared the parenting advice she received that "changed her life."
The 48-year-old star and host, who shares daughters Olive, 11, and Frankie, nine, with ex-husband Will Kopelman, opened up about the advice that changed the way she parented during her show, where she was joined by parenting expert and psychologist Dr. Aliza Pressman
According to Barrymore, the advice came from Dr. Pressman years ago, when her daughter Olive was "going through a phase."
"You've changed my life tremendously," Barrymore told the psychologist.
"I had Olive, who Eliza knows was in a transition period, it was years ago, where when she was upset, I would try to go to her and I would try to make it better."
However, according to the actress, it was "the last thing her daughter needed or wanted."
"I didn't get it, she would run away or say she would come back to me. But either way, there were like two ends," she continued. Barrymore said Dr. Pressman instead taught her how to "regulate" herself in these moments.
They want to "fix" the children
"You told me to walk into the room and just say: 'I understand we have a moment, I'm here on the other side of this door for you, waiting. When you're ready, I'm here,'" Barrymore recalled.
"And I would go outside and take a deep breath. "I got the best results I've ever had in my parenting from that, and it was never a way I thought about it."
In response to Barrymore's explanation, Dr. Pressman noted that parents are often "so afraid of the big feelings of [their child]" and want to "correct them".
"And we're after them," she continued, prompting Barrymore to agree that that was exactly what she had been doing before taking the advice.
During the conversation, Dr. Pressman also mentioned that it is normal for parents to feel this way, but also the importance of being able to regulate the feeling as well. "Being able to regulate ourselves like the adults and say: 'Okay, I'm not being chased by a bear.
My daughter is not being chased by a bear.'
I mean, it's not an emergency.
It's a feeling," she said, adding that instead it is useful to teach children "how to have feelings and that they survive and that we are not shocked."
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This isn't the first time Barrymore has spoken candidly about parenthood, as she previously revealed she was "terrified" when she became a first-time parent.
"I didn't expect to feel like I was in such a fight-or-flight mode for a very long time. "I thought it would be a little more romantic and nice, and instead I was just scared," she recalled during an episode of "Dear Drew" on Entertainment Tonight. "I slept very little, no. I could eat, I was nervous all the time, and no one really talked about how intimidating and overwhelming it could be... so I wasn't really ready for it."
At the time, Barrymore also admitted she felt "so alone" before assuring other moms who felt the same That they're not alone. "I felt alone about this, so if there are other moms who felt that way at first, you're not alone, I felt that way too," she said. "For any mom who felt casual and capable, you're a superhero!
"I wish I could be like you."
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Drew Barrymore