As of: February 2, 2024, 5:27 p.m
By: Sophie Kluß
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Dogs are not only loyal companions, but also regularly make their owners laugh.
Just like the eleven best jokes about the entertaining four-legged friends.
1 / 11A man goes to a casino in Las Vegas and sees a dog playing poker with his owner.
The man goes over and says: “Wow, your dog is extremely intelligent.” The owner then says: “Intelligent?
He's not intelligent, he's stupid!" The man replies: "Why is that?
This is the first dog I've seen playing poker." The owner replied: "Yes, but every time he has good cards he starts wagging his tail like crazy!" © Pond5 Images/Imago
2 / 11A police officer sits on a wall crying.
A man comes and asks: “What’s wrong with you?” The policeman replies: “My police dog ran away!” The man: “Oh… don’t worry, he’ll find his way back to the station on his own!” The policeman: “The dog does… but not me!” © Boris Roessler/dpa/Symbolbild
3 / 11The walker asks a passer-by: “Have you seen my dog?” The passer-by: “A little one, brown?” “Yes, exactly!” “With white paws?” “Exactly that one!” “With googly eyes and a cuddly look? “ “Yes, yes!” “I’m sorry, I didn’t see it.” © Westend61/Imago
4 / 11She: “My sweet darling, my little darling, my dearest cutie…” He: “Yes, what’s wrong, dear?” She: “Shut up, I’m talking to the dog!” © iStock 1313472113
5 / 11On the bus, a woman speaks to a dog owner: “Can you please take the dog away from me?” The man then says: “It won’t do anything!” The woman replies: “I can already feel the fleas on my leg!” The man reacts: “Come here, Bello, the woman has fleas!” © Francis Dean/imago
6 / 11Two animals that are strangers make each other known.
One animal says: “I am a Wolfspitz.
My father was a wolf and my mother a Pomeranian.” A thoughtful silence sets in.
Then the somewhat hesitant answer from the other animal: “Well, me, I’m an anteater …” © Oliver Berg/dpa
7 / 11Two dogs meet.
One says to the other: “My master is so stupid!
Now I bring him the stick for the thousandth time and he keeps throwing it away.” © Imago
8 / 11One dog owner complains to another: “It’s terrible.
My new dog chases after all the postmen on his bike!” The other one replies: “Well, then take the bike away from him!” © dpa
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9 / 11A Newfoundland and a greyhound meet while walking.
The Newfoundland says to the greyhound: “If you look at you, skinny little guy, you would almost think that dog food was sold out in all the pet stores.” The greyhound replies: “And if you look at you like that, you would think it was your fault! “ © agefotostock/Imago
10 / 11Two fleas were in the museum together.
Does one say to the other: “Do we want to walk home or should we take a dog?” © Pond5 Images/Imago
11 / 11The big game hunter goes on safari with his dog.
At midday the dog lies down under a tree to rest.
Suddenly a hungry looking lion comes towards him.
The dog gets scared and thinks about how he could get out of this tricky situation.
He sneaks a little further and lies on the ground in front of a pile of bones.
When the lion is close enough, the dog says loudly: “That was a delicious lion.
I wish there was another one there.” The lion gets scared and runs away.
A monkey, who has been watching everything from a tree, thinks about how he could use the whole thing to his advantage to win the lion as a friend.
He runs to the lion and explains everything to him.
Then the lion says: “Come here, monkey, jump on my back and we’ll get the damn dog!” The dog sees the strange team from afar.
He thinks for a moment and when the two are close enough, he says: “Where is that lousy monkey?
Fifteen minutes ago I sent him out to get a new lion and he still isn't back!” © alimdi/Imago
More than ten million dogs live in Germany.
This gives owners plenty of opportunity to collect funny anecdotes about their companions.
But these eleven cute jokes also make tears of laughter flow.
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