Tamar and Moshe Cohen who fostered 175 children/courtesy of the family
If in recent months we see the entire people of Israel mobilized to help the soldiers, the evacuees and anyone who needs it, there are those who help throughout the year - and for 15 years the children who were removed from their homes.
One of these women is Tamar Cohen who, together with her husband Eliyahu, placed 175 children as a foster family within the Or Shalom organization.
Tamar is 65 years old and Eliyahu is 72 years old, have been living in the Yad Binyamin settlement since it was evacuated from Gush Katif in 2005 and they have three children aged 44, 42, 40 and 38, all married with children.
She came to foster care at the age of 30, after she had her four children and could no longer, medically speaking, have more children.
"I wanted to re-experience pregnancy and small children, I fought so hard for it in front of the doctors but unfortunately I didn't succeed, but I still didn't give up, I felt it wasn't enough for me, that I still had a lot to give," says Tamar.
She saw an article on TV about foster children with Down syndrome, and then the decision to go for it made up her mind, "I told Eliyahu, Cohen, I'm going to ask for a baby girl with Down syndrome."
Eliyahu, for his part, supported her and cooperated with the move, even though it was clear to both of them that this was quite a challenge.
Tamar contacted the welfare services in Jerusalem, left details and after about two weeks they asked her to come pick up a girl born in Ashkelon with Down syndrome.
Tamar and Eliyahu received A, who from the beginning was a special and captivating girl, and above all very playful "I would say she is a girl with Up syndrome and not Down" Tamar shares with humor.
A grew up in their home from the moment she was born, today she is 24 years old, lives in a serviced apartment in the Jerusalem area and we meet regularly every two weeks, "she is our girl for everything" says Tamar.
15 years and over 175 children who were in their home
After several years in which Tamar and Eliyahu took care of A. with great dedication and managed to restore her life, the social worker who used to come to their home for home visits asked her if she knew any families who wanted to be emergency foster families.
Tamar became interested in the subject and realized the tremendous significance of this act of kindness in saving the lives of babies and toddlers whose lives are at real risk while they live with their parents at home.
In a short time she made a decision to become an emergency foster family as well.
"I drove the social worker so crazy that I wanted to be an emergency nanny, I wanted A to have little brothers, I felt that it really burned in me the great desire to rehabilitate children and give them a chance at a new life, like they gave A. In the end I succeeded, after a month and a half I was contacted by the 'Or Shalom' organization to start the process. It took quite a while, they are a very serious organization that does a lot of suitability tests for the foster parents, but in the end, God willing, we completed the process successfully."
Only a month after they were approved, the first two children came to her as an emergency nanny.
Since Tamar says, 15 years have passed and over 175 children who were in their home received from the couple a safe, loving and protective shelter and above all a chance for a different life.
Tamar Cohen/courtesy of the family
What is different - then and now - in raising children
"15 years ago when I started the Emergency Convention, I did it not out of a full understanding of the meaning of the act but out of a mother's simple desire to have more small children at home, but over the years the understanding sharpened before me that every day, every month, and every year, we are simply saving the The lives of these children, literally," says Tamar.
"As time passed, the depth I was able to reach in the relationship with the children I had, the sense of satisfaction and the mission motivated me every time anew, so that we reached 15 years without feeling the magnitude of this challenge and journey that we did for so many years. Over time, I learned to deal with each child and the The "package" he came with from home.
I received a lot of help and professional advice, really regularly and around the clock, we were a team in this story - me, the maids who came to me every day for help with daily chores, the professional women of 'Or Shalom' - psychologists, social workers and if necessary Also psychiatry. Together we built a treatment plan for each one, we understood what each one likes and how to approach him, what boundaries he needs and what kind of hug or kind word will help him during his stay with us."
"If I could, I would do it all over again"
After being available 24/7 to receive children and toddlers at any hour of the day in various and complex trauma situations, Tamar decided that was enough.
Upon reaching the age of 65, she made a decision that she wanted to devote time to her extended family, children and grandchildren "Being an emergency nanny means taking care of the children all the time, feeling them, raising them with all meaning - accompanying them to kindergarten, attending parent meetings, going to the playground at noon, taking care of them when they are sick , but I got so much from all of this! I say wholeheartedly, if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't give up a single moment, for anything."
Tamar tells in a choked throat about the moments of parting with the last foster that, due to various circumstances, were prolonged: "The last girl I had was longer than expected, and because I had already made the decision to end the emergency foster and knew that this was the last girl, it was a challenging and very emotional parting. I prepared a lot with the professional team For this moment, it didn't come with a boom, we did a processing and preparation process together that really helped me deal with this moment that I was afraid of, I even made a brave decision for me and also an unusual one, to physically accompany her to her biological family. I remember literally standing there at the entrance to the house and praying for her that she would be there Happy and happy, that she will get to grow up with love in her family, like she got in our house."
Tamar, a cordial and open woman, radiates a lot of warmth and love around her, qualities that are immediately recognizable and explain exactly how she was able to take on the challenge she took on for years.
"You need to know how to set limits for a child and at the same time also give a lot of warmth and love. This is the winning combination in my opinion. You also need a lot of perseverance and trust in children and not to give up because things eventually happen, and there are many successes down the road. If you persist in these principles, you will set limits and give love until it's not enough It gives the child such high confidence. You see the child at the end is happy and good for him. It's hard work, endless nights, but in the end there is always good."
Over the years she learned it.
"If this child came to me there is a solution because there is no despair and in the end you see the light" she concludes optimistically.
"Or Shalom" organization is a non-profit organization that takes care of children and youth at risk who were removed from their parents' custody by the welfare authorities due to circumstances of extreme lack of protection and difficulties in parental functioning.
For over 42 years, the "Or Shalom" organization has made it its goal to give these children everything that was denied them - immediate protection, a warm home, a hugging hand, an enveloping family and everything a child needs for normal development and a real chance for a better present and future.
These days, the Or Shalom organization is preparing to increase the various foster care frameworks, including the emergency foster care, with the understanding that the state of war in Israel and its consequences will increase the proportion of the population of children and youth at risk in the country due to the difficulties faced by disadvantaged families in society in extreme situations and national crises.
For more information about an emergency nanny, you can go to the website of the emergency nanny families organization - Kelt |
Light of peace
Children, infants and youth at risk (orr-shalom.org.il) or contact by email omna@orr-shalom.co.il, by phone or WhatsApp 051-2400312
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