As of: February 20, 2024, 5:54 p.m
By: Natalie Hull-Deichsel
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A completely new phase of life begins with a baby and becoming a parent.
Although mothers and fathers often find out what to expect, in reality things often turn out quite differently.
1 / 10Parental leave will be nice, finally free time, like a vacation, to switch off and enjoy the time with the baby, go for a lot of walks, finish reading the books you've started, try out new recipes.
In many cases, what mothers imagine during their first pregnancy does not correspond to what it will be like.
Some mothers and fathers feel overwhelmed by the new phase of life and, despite all the preparations, not prepared enough.
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2 / 10 As much as many mothers are happy about the positive pregnancy test and the offspring, organizing the birth can become all the more challenging.
Depending on the city in which they live, parents are advised to seek a place to give birth in a hospital early.
24vita.de spoke to a mother who was turned away from clinics over the phone in the 6th week of her early pregnancy because they were unable to provide space for the expected delivery date.
“I really didn’t expect that,” said the mother.
(Symbolic image) © AntonioGuillem/Imago
3 / 10A particularly frustrating circumstance for many mothers is the lack of midwives in Germany, especially for aftercare.
A circumstance that some parents probably imagined differently.
The midwife comes to the mother's home after the birth - initially daily, later weekly - checks on the baby and is also a valuable contact for the mother.
Parents need support and strength, especially at the beginning, in order to develop the necessary skills.
Many mothers feel physically and mentally exhausted, especially after giving birth.
During aftercare, the midwife also checks the regression of the mother's uterus, the postpartum flow and the healing of lacerations or surgical wounds in the case of perineal tears or incisions and cesarean sections.
The midwife also shows you the first postnatal exercises.
(Symbolic image) © Mareen Fischinger/Imago
4 / 10A baby means pure happiness - that's what most parents think and hope.
But the feeling of happiness and endless love does not always arise after birth.
With around 710,000 births per year in Germany, over 70,000 women and including men show symptoms of postpartum depression every year.
(Symbolic image) © Highwaystarz/LOOP IMAGES/Imago
5 / 10 “Always sleep when the baby is sleeping.” Well-intentioned advice from other parents that will take on particular meaning after the birth.
Because many parents definitely imagined the difficult situation of changing sleep quality with lack of sleep differently.
It is not uncommon for overtired mothers and fathers to feel sleepy and dizzy throughout the day, suffer from difficulty concentrating, have mood swings and are very irritable.
(Symbolic image) © Tanya Yatsenko/Imago
6 / 10In addition to the new life with a baby, mothers and fathers also have a lot of tasks to do, from the new daily routine, the often short nights, to breastfeeding the baby and giving bottles, to aftercare and preventative care appointments.
Mothers in particular report having the feeling that they have to think about a lot and often have the experience of forgetting appointments, appointments or tasks - even when the child is older or when siblings come along.
(Symbolic image) © Highwaystarz/LOOP IMAGES/Imago
7 / 10With the arrival of children, the work in the household does not become less, quite the opposite.
“I would never have thought it possible to wash so much laundry per week,” a mother tells 24vita.de in an interview.
With a baby in the family, there is often a lack of time and many parents also lack energy to complete tasks, even if parents involve the child or lie down with the sleeping baby to relax.
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8 / 10A long shower or a nice, warm bath.
What is usually self-evident for people without children often has to be planned for by parents with babies.
“At first I could only take a quick shower because our little one didn’t want to be put down and would cry a lot,” describes a mother in an interview with 24vita.de.
Although it may sound absurd to some, for many mothers or fathers this circumstance is a stark reality after the birth of the baby that had not previously occurred in their imagination.
(Symbolic image) © Ihar Ulashchyk/Imago
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9 / 10Parents wait over nine months to be able to hold their baby in their arms.
“Every day was a special moment for me when I held our little baby in my arms, rocked her, smelled her,” said the mother of a now 4-year-old.
Most parents look forward to their parental leave with children, but there are also mothers and fathers who still feel alone during this initial time with children because, for example, they cannot speak to others.
(Symbolic image) © Monkey Business 2/Imago
10 / 10When the baby is born, two people become a family.
Where previously the woman and the man could concentrate fully on their relationship, the focus of attention is now usually on the needs of the offspring.
A baby changes a relationship, but it can also enrich it.
Mother and father is a role in life that parents first have to grow into, which is also associated with pitfalls, obstacles and different feelings, even if it seemed easier in their own imagination.
(Symbolic image) © Cavan Images/Imago
“Everyday life with children is always a question of organization”, “I will only breastfeed my baby when he is hungry, not just to calm him down”, “I want to wean on time”, “Run every time the baby makes a sound "I probably won't" - What expectant mothers and fathers think about before the baby is born is often completely different from what actually happens.
In discussions with various mothers and fathers, 24vita.de has repeatedly come across the same topics and challenges that having children brings with it for parents.
Ultimately, all the parents that 24vita.de spoke to emphasized how much they love their child and that they don't want to be without them, but they also emphasize how difficult and exhausting parenting is - despite all the love they have for their own child.
Parenting: 10 things parents imagined would be different when the baby was born
Ultimately, it is difficult to be sure what awaits you as a mother or father, as this not only depends on the nature of the child and its behavior, but also on the well-being and feelings of the parents.
Apparently small things can become real problems, such as:
Your child cannot be put down to sleep and keeps waking up
Your child is a high-needs baby and cries non-stop
Lack of sleep that makes you despair and almost no longer think clearly
Not knowing how to properly respond to your child's tantrums
For many parents, the first time after the birth with a baby is very nice, but for some it is also a shock of reality, as can be seen from the feedback from the mothers and fathers with whom the 24vita editorial team spoke.
And there are also examples for whom it is particularly difficult.
“I didn't think I would be one of those mothers who would be depressed after giving birth.
It really took me time until I was able to accept my child, until I felt feelings for my child.
Until then I just felt like a shell.”
One difference between mothers from the previous generation and today: It no longer seems to be an absolute taboo to be able to talk openly about the challenges of being a parent.
In the past, it was even more difficult for mothers in particular to manage family life in an age where there was a lack of equality with fathers.
This article only contains general information on the respective health topic and is therefore not intended for self-diagnosis, treatment or medication. It in no way replaces a visit to the doctor. Our editorial team is not allowed to answer individual questions about medical conditions.