“At the Paris Olympic Games, I know that I will be alone against myself.”
Élodie Clouvel's voice resonates when she pronounces this meaningful sentence, while she takes the saddle off Sam, a brown thoroughbred that she has just ridden.
On this February morning, at the Paris Military School, the French champion with a slender silhouette and slender appearance (1.82 m, 66 kg) has just completed 1 hour 30 minutes of obstacle jumps and figures to prepare for one of five modern pentathlon events (riding, swimming, fencing, running and shooting).
In his viewfinder?
The Paris Olympic Games.
Although swimming is his first passion, the horse riding event is particularly close to his heart.
It's a victory for this 35-year-old athlete who, after a dangerous fall (resulting in head trauma), vowed never to ride a horse again.
Today, she says she has completely reconciled with this discipline.
“Being a high-level athlete is about surpassing yourself, overcoming fears and striving towards an ideal.
To do this, we must know ourselves, govern ourselves and conquer ourselves,” she said, summarizing, in three key words, the Olympic ideal as thought by the Greeks in Antiquity and Pierre de Coubertin, who relaunched the Olympic Games in 1894.
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A few days later, we find Élodie Clouvel at home at the end of a day marked by the clock.
After six hours of training, she relaxes through a series of rituals where nothing is left to chance: lighting a candle which will go out at 10:30 p.m., picking up a book from which she will reread several passages before closing her eyes and play his game, the Oracle of mantras, as a meditation.
This evening, she drew card number 24, called Ajai Alai (feeling invincible, in Sanskrit).
On her left hand, Élodie wears an Oura ring: “It has heart rate sensors, measures the level of oxygen in the blood and detects other things, like the level of sleep,” she explains.
The three rings that encircle another finger (the Trinity de Cartier ring) were given to her by her lover, Valentin Belaud, 31, with whom she has shared her life for ten years.
He too is a pentathlete and champion (with two gold medals won at the world championships in 2016 and 2019), and in the race to qualify like his partner for the Olympics.
To describe their relationship, Élodie uses the English expression
fair play.
The Anglo-Saxon term also perfectly characterizes the athlete's state of mind.
Her track record is impressive: twice world vice-champion (2016 and 2021), European vice-champion (2015), world champion in mixed relay (2013), four times French champion… Qualified for the London Olympics in 2012. Then finally, at the Rio Olympics, she was the first French athlete, men and women combined, to win an individual medal in modern pentathlon, silver.
Beyond an athlete with iron discipline, we also meet a young woman with a keen artistic mind and a hypersensitive nature.
These raw emotions that have run through her since childhood have played bad tricks on her.
But along this path started near Saint-Étienne, in Saint-Priest-en-Jarez, her hometown, Élodie Clouvel knew how to bounce back and reinvent herself at each stage.
Madame Figaro.
– At what age did you discover your vocation?
Elodie Clouvel.
– This will sound strange, but I really understood that the profession of athlete was made for me at only 26 years old, just before the Rio Olympic Games, in 2016. It was like a revelation.
At that time, I changed my life, my partner and cut ties with my previous existence.
I had dreamed of the Olympic Games since I was a child, but until then I had always felt like I was doing things to be a good student, constantly looking for the perspective of others to be validated.
You know, I started very young: I dove in a swimming pool at 3 years old and I have been competing since I was 6 years old.
I started high-level sport at 14 and left home at 15 to study swimming.
In 2008, I was recruited by the Modern Pentathlon Federation… But it was only in 2016 that I finally became aware of the experience I had acquired.
Élodie Clouvel: The spirit of conquest
In images, in pictures
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What is your vision of victory compared to the one you had when you were younger?
When I was 20, the term “victory” only had meaning when associated with a price.
Today, that means reaching my full potential, surpassing myself, offering everything I have to give.
The price is important, of course, but it is only the culmination of a journey.
I want to be a champion, but the journey is more important to me.
What fascinates you about your discipline, modern pentathlon?
Interdisciplinarity.
It is a sport that requires an athlete to master the mind, physique, technique and strategy.
We have to know how to deal with the unexpected, especially in horse riding where we discover the horse we are going to ride only twenty minutes before the competition.
This requires an open mind and an ability to adapt.
The human factor and sensitivity are very important.
In fencing, for example, we work with a psychologist to learn how to adapt to our opponent.
You often talk about magical moments experienced during a competition. Can you describe these sensations?
Sometimes, during an event, the planets align, so I feel my body and mind totally connected, in a state of full power.
It's as if my pelvis, my stomach, my legs and all my movements become incredibly fluid.
In these moments, I see the world around in slow motion, like a series of cinematic freeze frames.
For a long time, I stubbornly wanted to reproduce these magical sensations that every artist must know.
But I have learned that trying to force them is futile.
These are states of grace that emerge from titanic work, but which cannot be predicted.
I really understood that the profession of athlete was made for me at only 26 years old, just before the Rio Olympic Games in 2016
Élodie Clouvel
You have already participated in the Olympics three times and won a silver medal in Rio. How are you facing the 2024 Olympics?
During my first Olympic Games, I was 21 years old and I was much too young in my head.
I dreamed of participating in this event, but I felt like a spectator.
At the Rio Olympics, I was ready to face the beast, but I was still immature.
Winning the Olympic medal didn't seem like a big victory to me.
I wanted more.
And then in Tokyo, in 2021, I arrived tired because I had had a difficult year.
All these steps have forged my character and my knowledge of myself.
Today, I feel ready.
I see these Olympics as a grand finale, a culmination of my career.
This is the first time I'm enjoying my workouts and enjoying every moment.
I have the impression of reaching the summit of my art, of mastering it, of knowing its pitfalls and secrets.
I know what I want and don't want anymore.
What do you no longer want?
My pentathlon journey was the school of life.
Many times I had to adapt to a rhythm and rules that worked for others, but which did not suit me, because I am outside the norm.
When in 2021 I didn't get the results I wanted at the Tokyo Olympics, instead of trusting myself, I tried to follow classic training systems.
But I couldn't do it, I was sinking into discomfort.
My body said stop and I could no longer concentrate on my shooting, on the riding.
Which led me to burnout.
Since then, I have decided to dictate my own rules by creating my
team.
Today, I completely manage my preparation, my project, as if I were running my small business.
I do tailor-made work: I decide on my schedules and I choose the people who train me and surround me.
I finally feel free to be able to adapt this job to my needs.
I developed skills, I evolved as a woman.
I feel fulfilled.
Whatever happens at the 2024 Olympics, I will have no regrets, because I am in tune with myself.
You follow therapy with Meriem Salmi, psychologist and psychotherapist for athletes like Teddy Riner. What does this work bring you?
I see Meriem Salmi once a week.
It was a fabulous meeting.
As I said in 2016, after my medal, I plunged into the fog.
I didn't realize then the importance of being well surrounded when you are in the light.
I had fallen under the influence of a toxic person – a “mental trainer” coach, as he defined himself.
I was going badly and Meriem Salmi helped me get out of her unhealthy influence which was harming my career.
This therapy was very beneficial to me in the broader sense of the term to work on my mind and understand the reasons why I suffered from anxiety disorders.
I was diagnosed as hypersensitive.
Many things that I couldn't put into words took on meaning, which allowed me to accept myself as I am.
Being a high-level athlete involves surpassing yourself, overcoming fears, and striving towards an ideal
Élodie Clouvel
You feel like you're "out of the norm"...
I always felt like I was different and didn't fit into most school and sports systems.
Sport is at the center of my life but, since my adolescence, I have also had a passion for cinema, literature, dance, fashion and all artistic disciplines.
Contrary to the messages that were sent to me ("You don't have time", "You're losing focus"), art is nourishment for me, an essential source of inspiration which helps me to be a better person. athlete.
I need it every day, it's what allows me to express myself through my body, which is my vector of creation.
This is also what is hard to understand in the world of sport where you are locked into a box.
My goal has always been to discover myself through sport, not to be formatted.
How does your hypersensitivity manifest
?
I'm obsessive about details and terribly perfectionist, so I can't stand mediocrity.
In terms of bodily perceptions, I smell perfumes intensely.
I am very receptive to noise, and sometimes I wear noise-canceling headphones because I need silence and to be alone.
When I practice fencing, I prefer a coach who communicates through the eyes.
I perceive everything excessively.
Hypersensitivity is difficult to explain.
But I have always felt it and, often, to escape requests, I have taken refuge in imaginary worlds which protect me.
Excellence often requires daily discipline. What's yours ?
During the week, when I train every day, I need to be rigorous.
I wake up at 7:45 a.m. and have a breakfast developed with a nutritionist: a glass of water first, followed by fruit (yellow kiwi, banana).
Then I prepare toasted spelled bread with organic ham and sheep's cheese to which I add half an avocado, with olive oil, salt and pepper.
I drink green tea or Mash coffee.
From 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. is training.
After a lunch based on proteins, pasta, lentils and vegetables, prepared beforehand, a 45-minute nap, a ritual that I love: I put on my pajamas and do meditation or self-hypnosis.
Then I train until the evening and go to bed at 10:30 p.m., with a book.
On Saturday evening, I see friends and on Sunday I recover, going to the cinema or seeing an exhibition.
Today, I completely manage my preparation, my project, as if I were running my small business
Élodie Clouvel
Who are the women who inspire you
?
All my life, I have been supported by athletes like Marie-José Pérec, Serena Williams and Laure Manaudou, strong women who are committed.
In the cinema, I find Virginie Efira or Adèle Exarchopoulos very inspiring.
I would love to meet them.
I feel committed as a woman, even a feminist, because I lived in a very patriarchal sporting environment that I can no longer stand today.
Women are infantilized much more than men.
But I was the first woman in France to have an Olympic medal in a sport that was originally very masculine.
It was important and I'm proud of it.