Keys | What is vicarious violence? When it occurs?

“I'm going to hit you where it hurts the most” is one of the phrases that condense what vicarious violence is in sexist violence: the damage that violent men exert on women through another person, especially their children and daughters.

The term is relatively recent, it was coined by the psychologist and forensic expert Sonia Vaccaro in 2012. Since then, it has been spreading to enter research and analysis around gender violence and also in Spanish legislation.

Cases such as that of Antonio AC, a 49-year-old Spaniard who murdered his 11-year-old son on April 3, 2022 in his home, in the Valencian town of Sueca, periodically shine the spotlight on violence that reaches murder in his stadium. more serious, but which occurs daily, more silently, in those homes where there is abuse.

The jury in the trial of Antonio AC, sentenced last February to permanent, reviewable prison, established that the objective had been to cause his ex-wife “the greatest pain imaginable, turning the death of his son into a paradigmatic act of vicarious sexist violence.” ”.

Still under investigation, although the main hypothesis is that of vicarious violence, is the murder of two girls, aged two and four, allegedly poisoned by their father, Romanian by origin, who later committed suicide.

It happened this Sunday night in a district of the municipality of Gérgal (Almería) and, as confirmed by the Ministry of the Interior, he had an active restraining order against his ex-partner and mother of the minors for two years.

Here, the keys to a violence that, according to official statistics, has reached 52 minors murdered since there are figures, in 2013, and two so far this year;

This last case has not yet been counted because it has not been confirmed.

What is it?

It is one of the ways in which sexist violence occurs through which men harm mothers through other people, especially their sons and daughters.

Does the legislation include it?

Since 2015, the comprehensive law against gender violence has recognized this form of violence as that which, with the aim of harming women, “is exercised against their minor relatives or relatives”, although it does not name it as vicarious violence.

The State Pact against gender violence, approved in 2017, does mention the term and plans to extend the protection of the law to those who have suffered violence "through an intermediary" as "the most extreme damage that the abuser can exert on a woman." : harm and/or murder children.”

And it is also included since 2021 in the Law on comprehensive protection of children and adolescents against violence.

When it occurs?

Like sexist violence within a couple or ex-partner, it occurs to different degrees and in different circumstances.

Sonia Vaccaro explained a few months ago in an interview in this newspaper that “it especially occurs when she considers divorce or separation, or when she begins to become aware of that violence and begins to want to assert her decisions.”

That is when they “begin to put pressure through their sons and daughters.”

For example, when the mother wants to set limits on certain issues and the father takes the role of total permissiveness, letting them do anything.

Or when the mother does not agree that a ten-year-old child has a cell phone and the father buys him a latest generation smartphone.

“They are very subtle issues that must be analyzed in depth because, in all these ways of acting, the distinctive thing about vicarious violence is wanting to batter, undermine, the maternal role.

All vicarious violence is childhood violence, but not all childhood violence is vicarious violence: intentionality is what marks it,” Vaccaro pointed out.

How is it given?

Vaccaro also explained that "the most extreme form is murder, but there is daily or habitual vicarious violence, where the individual does it in many ways in the exercise of their right to visits or when they have custody, for example."

And he gave examples: “Interrupting the medical treatments of minors while they are with them is one, or not taking them to sports activities that they like, or not taking them to appointments such as birthdays that have to do with the maternal family.

Not paying for things they need such as dental or ophthalmological treatments is another, which is impeding the right to health.

The most common?

Not paying the pension that corresponds to them.”

The protocols

For two years, the protocol followed in police stations when a woman goes to report sexist abuse includes questions about the specific risk to her children.

However, many times, the majority, it is not reported.

It is estimated that the hidden pocket of sexist violence is 80%.

The majority of women who are murdered, for example, had not filed a complaint.

They do not do it out of fear for themselves, their sons and daughters or their families, for fear of not being believed or of suffering social or family reprisals, because sometimes they have no network to escape from or because they do not trust the system.

One of the last changes introduced to protect minors was the new wording of article 94 of the Civil Code through the Law on comprehensive protection of children and adolescents against violence so that if judges saw a risk for them, they could provisionally suspend parental authority, or visits and communications, or custody.

But this is not mandatory but a possibility and, although these numbers have been growing, it does not always happen.

Telephone 016 assists victims of sexist violence, their families and those around them 24 hours a day, every day of the year, in 53 different languages.

The number is not registered on the telephone bill, but the call must be deleted from the device.

You can also contact them by email at

016-online@igualdad.gob.es

and by WhatsApp at 600 000 016. Minors can contact the ANAR Foundation by calling 900 20 20 10. If it is an emergency situation, You can call 112 or the National Police (091) and Civil Guard (062) telephone numbers.

And if you cannot call, you can use the ALERTCOPS application, from which an alert signal is sent to the Police with geolocation.