As of: March 23, 2024, 8:56 a.m
By: Natalie Hull-Deichsel
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In reality, life with children is so different for some parents that they regret their decision to have children.
A study provides three causes.
Scientists around the world are working on the topic of regretful and unhappy parents.
The most well-known study on this is that of an Israeli sociologist Orna Donath, entitled “Regretting motherhood”.
The study was published in 2015 and sparked a major debate in Germany, especially on social networks.
What exactly is it that makes parents regret their desire to have children?
Want to have children?
Survey reveals some parents have regrets - money is just one reason
According to the survey, over 20 percent of mothers and fathers in Germany regret their desire to have children and the fact that they have had children.
(Symbolic image) © AntonioGuillem/Imago
The representative YouGov study “Regretting Parenthood: Who would decide differently today” showed that at least 20 percent of mothers and fathers in Germany would not decide to have children again.
What became clear in the survey: These parents also love their children - but they don't love their life after having children.
And, for example, they feel less resilience in the face of critical phases in their children, such as outbursts of anger.
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Three main reasons were cited by parents in the study:
Limitation of personal development:
Over half (52 percent) of all parents said that they felt restricted in their lives by having children.
Among the parents who regretted it was even 74 percent.
Career and finances:
44 percent of mothers surveyed and 20 percent of participating fathers believed that their careers would have been better without children.
According to the results, regret about parenthood was also more common among people with lower incomes, i.e. less than 1,500 euros per household.
Financial resources and support would play a role in the desire to have children and satisfaction.
Lack of care options:
A lack of care options also played a major role.
Basically, around two thirds (64 percent) of all parents surveyed criticized them - even 74 percent of parents who would subsequently no longer decide to have children.
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This survey also suggests that a major reason for regretting parenthood is the belief that one cannot lead the life one wants as a parent.
Lack of happiness with offspring: When parents regret their desire to have children
Scientists at Dartmouth University weren't the only ones who gained interesting findings in a study on the topic of happiness among parents with one million respondents.
Researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research (MPIDR) were also able to show an interesting trend.
They published the results of their global study on the desire to have children and feelings of happiness together with the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia (USA) in the specialist journal “Population and Development Review”: Young parents become more dissatisfied with each additional child.
However, as parents get older, their happiness in life exceeds that of those without children.
The evaluations showed: The more children a young couple has, the more dissatisfied they become.
The change and burden of stress would be perceived as greater.
However, from the age of 40 onwards it would be the other way around: more children make parents feel more happiness in life.
This applies regardless of gender, income and relationship status.
The researchers surveyed over 200,000 women and men from 86 countries.
Thanks to today's medicine, having a child over the age of 40 is no longer a problem or a problem.
Editor's note: This text has already appeared in the past. Many readers were particularly interested in it. That's why we're offering it again.
“Children can be a long-term investment in happiness,” said study author Mikko Myrskylä in an MPIDR press release.
There is a global trend that for parents under 30 years of age, the level of happiness decreases with each subsequent child after the first child, while the level of happiness for parents over 30 years of age increases again.
This article only contains general information on the respective health topic and is therefore not intended for self-diagnosis, treatment or medication. It in no way replaces a visit to the doctor. Our editorial team is not allowed to answer individual questions about medical conditions.