A boy dressed as a clown/ShutterStock
The anonymity, the feeling of freedom from criticism and judgment gives courage to both the big and the small.
We all probably need to get rid of our ego at least once a year, we all want a chance to fool around, throw away the troubles, the burden of adulthood and the responsibility "to the point of lack of knowledge" and go back to being children if only for one day.
We adults need days like this to fill our batteries, recharge and allow ourselves to go in the groove all the other days.
But with our children it is different, dressing up is really a developmental task for which they have to use a lot of flexibility and it is not always easy, certainly for the young children.
How is the costume related to development?
What do you do with children who refuse to dress up?
And how do you encourage creativity and imagination all year round?
All the answers in the article in front of you:
A costume is a celebration of imagination
: The early years are a time of wonder and imagination, years when children explore the world with curiosity and excitement.
One of the ways in which this creativity is expressed is through imaginative play.
And there the costumes are much more than just costumes, they are really a tool that allows them to "wear" different identities, "measure" behaviors and characters and step into the shoes of the other, through the costume you can see how the policeman feels compared to the thief, or the doctor compared to the patient.
Studies show that dressing up has many developmental benefits for our children, who are still learning and looking for their place in the world.
It's not easy to dress up
: try for a second to think about the cognitive process required to dress up, it's really not easy!
It has elements of planning, imitation, learning from the environment and social motivation.
The child needs to use symbolism and mental flexibility, he needs to be able to take someone else's points of view and really "step into his shoes", it is very complex.
This is also the reason that toddlers have a hard time with the task and see the costume at best as just another piece of clothing, all the awkwardness is not really good for them and they don't always cooperate (all parents who try to photograph a costumed baby will testify).
Imagination and creativity are a muscle that develops over time
: it is important to remember that mental flexibility is a developing ability, a real muscle of creativity that gets stronger with age.
Many times young children are still afraid of the blurring of the identity created by the costume, understand them and give them time.
Towards the third year of life, the magic usually begins, the role plays become central, the imagination and creativity work overtime and even the gender becomes flexible, one moment I'm a superhero, then a soldier and sometimes a princess and everything works.
Respect their wishes
: remember that the costume is for the children!
And if they still don't enjoy it, the struggles are really unnecessary.
Purim is a great opportunity for us parents to learn to "break the dawn" and let the children choose whether and why to dress up, even if it's not exactly what we planned.
The costume is not a confirmation of the degree of investment or the nature of the parenting, nor of the character of the children, only of their choice at a given moment, that choice which is important to respect.
For toddlers - comfort above all else
: a toddler who is uncomfortable will find it difficult to cooperate and will be frustrated.
Make sure the costumes are comfortable, not itchy and not bulky.
Make sure you have a costume with which you can walk, crawl, and move freely.
Sometimes a hat, a sword and some make-up on the face make them happy enough and pass the holiday with a comfortable, pleasant and safe feeling.
And by the way, it's really okay that after all the preparations on the morning of the holiday they decide that they don't dress up, as frustrating as it is that there won't be a careful photo with the new costume, understand the concern and don't pressure them.
Why not every Purim day?
Our children really do not need Purim to be happy, to fool around and to go wild, "let's make noise" for them every day all day.
The charms of childhood and the way of development allow young children to "measure" characters and behaviors all year round, Purim is just an excuse.
Create a home costume corner, to which you can return again and again and find new treasures depending on the mood.
Keep the costumes, the different accessories, it really doesn't have to be expensive things, you'll be surprised how much Dad's old shirt, hat, handkerchief and tie will do the job.
Remember that Purim is an overwhelming holiday
: it comes and is happy, joking and jubilant, but all this joy can overwhelm young children.
In addition to the fact that Purim in recent years has been extended from a day of costumes to a week of carnival: there is an upside down day, makeup day, pajama day, hat day and what not?
The routine is broken and our children who need security and stability meet a changing reality that does not always go well for them.
Give space to every emotion that comes up, and be prepared for more stormy days because sometimes after a big celebration you come home and fall apart.
Written by
Dana Amer
- a certified behavior analyst, with a master's degree in special education from Bar Ilan University, a lecturer and accompanying parents, families and educational teams.
Happy Purim!
For toddlers - comfort above all else:/ShutterStock
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Dana said, in collaboration with JAMA
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