As of: April 1, 2024, 4:47 a.m
By: Laura Knops
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Would it be better not to discuss difficult topics? A psychology professor explains why it can sometimes be better not to talk about your problems.
A conversation with friends, a partner or family helps many people to get problems off their chest. Sharing your worries with others is generally a good strategy for dealing with difficulties. However, problem discussions can have exactly the opposite effect and worsen the mood. Because talking can, under certain circumstances, limit the ability to solve problems and inflate difficulties, as a current long-term psychological study shows.
Complaining and complaining can make problems bigger
“Co-rumination” is the mutual encouragement to discuss problems excessively, to go over the same topics over and over again, to anticipate future problems, and to focus on negative feelings. © Depositphotos/Imago
While it can be a relief to confide in a friend about certain topics and potentially gain a different perspective, classic “problem conversations” seem to increase negative feelings for many people. Excessive complaining and sharing of fears can lead to a greater awareness of the problems. This is the conclusion reached by an American researcher from the
University of Missouri
. In an observational study by the “Peer Relations Lab”, scientist Amanda Rose examined friendship relationships in children and adolescents.
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Her team analyzed the effect of problem discussions in close friendships. What was striking was that many people expressed their worries and fears more than once. Rather, in many relationships the same content and topics are discussed again and again.
Speculating and repeatedly talking about problems
Instead of specifically solving problems and alleviating fears, constantly repeating your worries seems to have a negative effect on your psychological mood. Psychologists describe the so-called “co-rumination” as an accelerator for bad moods and depressive illnesses, as
Geo.de
reports. “Co-rumination” refers to excessive talking about problems and, according to Amanda Rose, is characterized by rehashing problems, speculating about problems, and dwelling on negative feelings.
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As part of the study, the scientists asked healthy students to think about a topic for a total of eight minutes. Even this short period of time was enough to develop a more pessimistic view and also to assess the future more negatively. After ruminating, the test subjects showed less ability to solve their problems and instead got into new thinking loops.
Rumination activates the stress and anxiety areas of the brain
Because rumination involves circular thinking, it tends to magnify problems. With this kind of thinking you can hardly get any closer to a solution. The expert describes discussing problems with friends as “brooding for two”. A problem situation is discussed excessively, speculation is made and problematic aspects are discussed again and again. If the conversation is conducted with several people, this can further complicate the problem due to different perspectives.
The researchers found that the test subjects felt closer to a friend after talking to them, but they did not find a solution. Instead, anxiety and depressive symptoms increased as a result of the conversation. Numerous neuropsychological studies offer an explanation for this: rumination activates the alarm and fear center of the brain. The amygdala then releases cortisol and the body is put into a permanent state of alert.
Co-Rumination: This helps against thought spirals
Just knowing that rumination is rather harmful can help you get out of negative thought spirals more quickly. If you notice that a conversation is going in circles instead of moving towards a solution, you should stick to the following rule:
If you don't come to a conclusion after thinking about a certain topic for two minutes, it's better to leave the topic alone.
This approach can also help when talking to friends. If a conversation does not lead to a solution after 15 minutes, it is co-rumination.
According to Psychology Today,
before sharing a problem, you should
ask yourself whether it is really a new problem or whether it has already been discussed in the past.
This article only contains general information on the respective health topic and is therefore not intended for self-diagnosis, treatment or medication. It in no way replaces a visit to the doctor. Our editorial team is not allowed to answer individual questions about medical conditions.