Greta Thunberg and Deutsche Bahn: How can you screw this up?

It is a pity that the Berlin public transport company does not maintain a subway from Zurich to Kiel. Unfortunately, Greta Thunberg had to trust Deutsche Bahn and sit on the floor. And the company reacted as the Germans expect from their railways. First awkward and then snippy. With delay. A disaster on several levels.

After all, Greta Thunberg's first tweet had a certain poetry, a slight hint of age-appropriate "Interrail" romance. There the traveler sits next to a stack of luggage, under illuminated posters for "the new on-board catering" and the wonderful "KomfortCheck", whatever that is written and whatever may be there.

Traveling on overcrowded trains through Germany. And I'm finally on my way home! pic.twitter.com/ssfLCPsR8o

Her face, like that of a Madonna by Guido Reni, faces the light of hope towards the window. It is a certified quality tweet from Thunberg, probably sent by her father from one of the "overcrowded trains through Germany".

And who doesn't know this situation? If the ICE is overcrowded, you just squat in the bay next to the door; at best not directly in front of the ventilation slot of the heater, which otherwise grills your kidneys. Just as Greta Thunberg crouches, we all crouched before: "Finally on my way home", as she writes. It could be the conciliatory end of a story in which the Atlantic has been crossed twice with wind power.

It was her beginning.

Because the train reacted. First servil, you want to "continue to work hard on more trains, connections, seats" in the future.

We wish #Greta a safe journey home. And continue to work hard on more trains, connections and seats.

Then, apparently after consulting the on-board staff, with a passive-aggressive "Mooooment mal, young Miss!" Because: the prominent customer and her entourage had tickets for first class. Look!

It would have been even nicer if you had also reported how friendly and competent you were looked after by our team at your seat in first class. #Greta 2/2

The first level of the disaster is that the railways do not know their own timetables and ferries. Thunberg had to change trains in Basel because the ICE had failed - and had to sit as far as Frankfurt, where you have to sit in such cases. From Frankfurt onwards, she took her booked seat and did not report "how friendly and competent" she was looked after at her "seat in first class". And how delicious the chocolate called "favorite guest" tastes, with which you are spoiled there.

The second level of the disaster is that Greta Thunberg himself had to dispel the impression that a photo had presented himself as a victim of Deutsche Bahn. No more words from the company's public relations department, this train had probably already left.

The third level of the disaster is that the railways not only made personal passenger data ("first class"!) Public. She insinuated that the famous customer was a first-class blender and hypocrite - and also supplied the countless critics of the young Swede with ammunition. Look!

The topic was suddenly no longer the ridiculous result of the Madrid climate conference. Rather, the supposed fact that the activist pretended to be sitting on carpets, when she was actually lounging in the armchair with plenty of legroom, wasn't it? "How real is Greta?" Asked the "Bild" columnist Franz-Josef Wagner.

Which brings us to the fourth and most desolate level of disaster. You can think of Greta Thunberg what you want. For her presence in an ICE, the company would spend more money than for her Formula 1 advertising vehicle Nico Rosberg, if she could be bought.

That was a gift for the train - but what does it make of it?

Deutsche Bahn has just presented itself with a new timetable and the revitalization of disused routes as an eco-powered mobility alternative to cars and planes - and then Greta gets on board.

How can you not use this gift? How can you screw this up?

By acting like the incumbent president of the United States and not blindingly trolling a 16-year-old. By exposing a customer who, in principle, even thinks crowded trains are "no problem" and a "great sign".

If Greta Thunberg had slipped in a puddle of vomit on the subway and landed in the arms of a junkie, the famous BVG social media team would probably have changed this template themselves and made it PR gold.

Deutsche Bahn, on the other hand, makes itself part of the problem, not the solution, without need.

She really can't be helped anymore.