"Violence is Affordable": That is how the status of aggressive children in school is rising

Photo by Reuben Castro

• news
• News in Israel
• Education

Once thought that aggression comes from students with a lack of social and emotional skills, studies now point to the opposite phenomenon. Professor Robert Paris, a social relations specialist in schools, explains in an interview to Walla! NEWS How class is determined in class, what is the effect of social networking and what is the price of the psychic

Pine Nahari

It was a coup. The government was overthrown. As a successful coup in history, it began with complete surprise, except of course for conspirators. Or in this case - the conspiracy. And as an occasion for a historic event, everyone who has been there remembers today the dramatic events in the Realm Center in Carmel Center when we were in the fifth grade.

She was the queen of the class, until that day when five girls, the Countess of the class up to that moment, took out sheets of paper and scoffed at the Layer Coordinator's office. From that minute the class queen became a boycott, a new era of collective leadership was emerging. One student remained in contact with her. A year later, she left school.

This week, US professor Robert Paris, perhaps one of the world's largest scholars of social relations in schools, visited Israel. Paris's research findings and the life experience of educators in Israel are, to say the least. "Violence pays off," concludes Paris. Violence, in the sense of bullying, can be bullying in the schoolyard, boycotting or shaming on social networks. "It pays off in the sense that we see time and time again that whoever uses it wisely increases his status at school," the researcher explained.

Simply put - everything we thought was wrong. If we once thought, for example, that most of the aggression in schools comes from students who have a lack of social and emotional skills and are frustrated by it - then no, much of the aggression comes from children with medium-high social and emotional skills, not arbitrary aggression from a frustrated bully who randomly attacks children. Intelligent use of aggression to advance social status. If we thought that acceptance was indicative of mental health, being acceptable in the classroom sometimes indicates aggression and if we thought that there was a connection between sports achievement and learning to reduce aggression, this is not necessarily the case.

Everyone who has been there remembers the dramatic events to this day

Oren Nahari Realty Magazine Haifa (Photo: Image processing)

But after all, American society is not lawfully Japanese, Israeli or African. "Right" Paris agrees with Walla! NEWS. "My research was done in the United States, but in as many communities as can be described - a rural, poor, southern community in a small town in North Carolina, and a very wealthy New York suburb. This study needs to be expanded, but I suspect the findings won't be very different in the rest of the world." .

So forget about the movies where there is an unorthodox, rejected, frustrated teenager who will be saved thanks to a teacher and maybe first love. In reality, most cases of bullying are done by unchurched children - who understand, and unfortunately they are right in that it will improve their status. The aggression is not just intended to raise their status, but primarily to eliminate an opponent or potential opponent.

Time and again you see who uses it wisely in his status at school. Paris

Professor Robert Paris (Photo: Untitled)

Paris came to Israel for a series of intensive meetings with educators, activists working to reduce violence in schools on behalf of the Growth Association, formerly the SSO. Violence, founded and directed by Yoni Chuna and Georg Rossler. The association won the Knesset Speaker's Award for Improving the Quality of Life for its successes in reducing violence in Israeli schools.

Chona, the director general of the association, said that the findings of Paris are also the findings in the country. Students in Israel were anonymously asked who are the 3-5 accepted students in the class, and who are the aggressive students in the classroom. At the same time, the teachers were asked.

The pursuit of status exists at every age. According to Paris, class status is determined by variables of charisma, wealth, beauty and excellence in sports.

Excellence in studies - OUT

On the street next to our Carmel apartment was our classmate's house, which we knew his dad had ships and he was rich. In the highly collectivist Haifa of the 1960s and early 1970s, it did not significantly change the status of one of Israel's greatest wealthy. "Children today are well aware of economic status. They see the house, the car and the toys," said Paris. In addition, he argues, "affluent parents are the ones who tend to be more involved in school life, and that raises the social 'capital' of their children."

However, in the four sections that define school status, excellence in schooling does not appear to be the main theme of the school. Paris's findings show that excellence in schooling is less of a factor, also because there is an anti-intellectual, anti-"Yoram" tendency if you want to in American culture, and that there is a feeling among the young people that the deal is no longer valid.

"My college enrollment letter was one-page, school year costing $ 6,000 and in my generation when we left college we knew we would have a good job," said Paris, "Today, social mobility in the United States is stuck, college tuition is rising, tuition has increased tenfold College doesn't actually get you anywhere, even though we seem to see excellent schooling excellence, how nerds conquer the world: Gates, Zuckerberg, Bryn, Paige - all of Silicon Valley's legends were outstanding students who became billionaires. The usual, American at least, excellence in schooling will give you some respect, but not enhanced social status. "

"Classroom is like a prison" (Photo: Sharon Bokov)

Empty classroom in the Herzliya Gymnasium

School aggression has many facets and forms, but if it is a rational and deliberate matter, the question is how it works. A new girl arrives at school. A beautiful girl, perhaps too beautiful for the taste of the current lyca, may be threatening popularity. Then a rumor campaign will start against her. A child, or a girl, will "earn" class capital if they are actually harassing an acceptable child, while harming an unacceptable child will only harm them.

The struggle is about the social order in front of someone parallel. Connected beginner boycott may not be the king of the class, but will be in the usual bunch and this is a position of power.

"A classroom is like a prison," Chuna demonstrated, and Paris agreed. This, in the sense that there is no clear hierarchy, it is not clear who holds, who sets the rules. In both cases, there are those who watch from the outside - the teacher or the guard, but those inside are struggling for their status. Not necessarily violent and sometimes vice versa, but who can get things done because his father is the richest. Those who are charismatic and the girls die will have the status.

Children who use bullying to climb social status pay a mental price. Chona

June Chona (Photo: Untitled)

Professor Paris says the status is given to the same child, but outsiders cannot join the fight for status. But if the child has a stature that is rich, beautiful, charismatic and an outstanding athlete - why should he exert aggression? "The very charismatic don't really need it, but the 'middle class' does. What is the same status? A combination of advertising, appreciation, impact, power, prestige. And that is valid at any age, anywhere. Status is the best drug, according to the findings," He explained.

The depressing conclusion is that if class is a critical thing of any age, and if well-calculated aggression is a lucrative thing in the sense that someone who uses it wisely in school benefits from it, then that aggression will never go away from schools? "Not necessarily," said Paris and Chona.

The dangers of shaming

First of all, it turns out that those children who use bullying to climb social status pay a mental price. They can be taught to value other children, assist children, "grow" in the language of the association. Support or hug help, see it in the data. There is constant progress, there is much less violence in schools, but in some ways the dangers have increased. Shaming can lead to suicides.

But children who help others, who help wisely and do not trample on their own good status, are valued. You have to show this to kids, who, like in real life, don't have to be Frank Underwood or Kaiser Souza to get ahead. And even if you weren't born, let's say John Kennedy - handsome, charismatic, wealthy at home and athletic - all the things that mark Paris you can get ahead of your skills.

The protective layer that can be very helpful is friends. According to Paris, courageous friendships give a sense of value and make a difference. Developing and maintaining friendships is a talent for life. It raises self-esteem and creates group protection.

"Be the biggest bully at school - it won't help you raise your status." (Photo: Reuben Castro)

Illustration Violence on the Web, Gwen School, Rosh Ha'ayin. February 8, 2016 (Photo: Reuven Castro)

And in workplaces, the status game is played everywhere. Paris warned that "in a hierarchical workplace it is clear who the boss is. The boss can still be a weak and weak tyrant, of course, but clearly who is, at least in principle. The flat workplace that glorifies today can be more dangerous because it is like a classroom in the sense of having no hierarchy - and then the struggle for status More bleeding, more dangerous than an old-fashioned workplace. "

And what is true for adults is true for countries as well. In fact, we can say that what we see is Machiavellism, in its original sense. Sophisticated play on rule. Like the states, children and adults start with benefits and rely on them when they come to increase their status. "It's impossible to beat your way up," said Paris. "Be the biggest bully at school - it won't help you raise your status. You need more skills."

The only place probably where you can, physically, hit your way up is in crime gangs and up there to a certain limit. Think of Meyer Lansky, Lucky Luciano. They weren't the biggest thugs. vice versa. Buggies Staff, Albert Anastasia were. The last two were eliminated, the first died in their beds.

There used to be respect, perhaps excessive, for the establishment and the hierarchy. The parents in my parents generation gave automatic backing to the teacher, and the commander in the army later, if we had any allegations against them. Sometimes it came with a slap. Slaps passed, but those times changed, perhaps the pendulum exaggerated the transition to the opposite side.

"The rejected bully"

As for social networks, Chuna explained that "A boy who organized a boycott 20 years ago had to call 30 apartments, talk to every parent, ask the child from the classroom and join him in the campaign. Today a few minutes and with the help of Wetsap groups organize not only a classroom boycott but a boycott I lay overall, and sometimes he or she has a child or two of his entourage who is a media department creating humiliating photoshoppers. The boycott of itself, which was terrible in itself, was 'silence therapy.' This is a brutal attack that goes on all day and night. "

According to Chuna, "This is one example that social networks are a multiplier of aggressive acceptors, there are many more. In contrast, the social network does not reinforce the 'rejected bully' that leaves voice messages in the 'Yes Zero You All' vocal." , And his social status is not improving. "

Also, once the child could hide the boycott on him from the parents, if he wanted to. At least until his birthday came, and even then he might have avoided having a class dinner with various excuses. Today everything is exposed - and for the better or worse the parents can know immediately what is happening. On the one hand, to help the child, and on the other hand, he was found to be unacceptable as rejected.

And there's another side to that, too. Perhaps social networks, at least as adolescent boys, can actually be a power multiplier for quieter people. For those who post a popular blog, upload original stuff to Twitter and not have to rely on popularity to survive.

A crucial influence. The Real School in Haifa (Photo: Shlomi Gabay)

Oren Nahari returns to his teenage days in the Real School (Photo: Photo: Shlomi Gabai, Shlomi Gabai)

The school has a decisive influence on us. In a small American town, anyone who doesn't leave the status you acquired, or lost at school will accompany you all your life. Hence the image we sometimes see in the American popular school as a kind of hell, especially rejected.

And maybe the sweetest revenge of all is success? It happens, but at our turnout the quintet were still the class queens. With all due respect to all the professors, businessmen and seniors from my class, the biggest huddle was by far the most popular member of the class when he came to visit Israel.