One day you will have a family meal with friends without anyone losing it in turn • But as the children play, for a moment you do not seem to carry the pain alone • Father's voice
Why aren't we all smiles here? // Photo: GettyImages
Last Friday, something that didn't happen too much happened to us - we hosted another couple for dinner, including kids and all the accompanying harassment. The uncommon case has highlighted two main points: 1. I hate foreign people in my house. 2. There are significant differences between the way girls develop and the way boys develop.
Hours before the appointed hour, Naama began: "When will the guests arrive?"
"another three hours".
"Three hours is a lot?"
"Yes".
"It's been three hours already?"
That's how it went on, until the guests arrived. Naama asked, Naama helped with the preparations, Naama arranged again and again all the things she wanted to show (the couple has a girl her age). During all this time Oded repeated one mantra: "I don't want them to come to my house."
We did not try to raise our children according to their gender. But he came out very old, and she came out very old. How surprising. And girls, it seems, are much more socially oriented structures. That's why Naama's whole day was built around her head around this visit, and Oded agreed to accept the invaders only after giving him a Kinder Egg.
In the end, he was kind enough to let the guests sit down to the table, and the meal began. There was a formal touch in the air, perhaps because it was Friday night and everyone was ticking, and I suddenly realized why the couple thought I was laughing when I offered to close the whole meal with disposable dishes at noon.
One day I will write a column about how we ate a family meal without each of us losing it in turn, but for now it has not happened. Oded's mad cry for the unwanted invaders was replaced by Na'ama's cry, feeling that the evening wasn't going exactly according to her plans, and from there it moved to our frustration as we realized how much hard work it took to hold such an evening and still maintain a facade of normality.
It will be said to the children that they really lose it in turns, as if the universe knows that parents too can meet requirements to a certain extent. That's how we managed to get air to the coffee and cakes stage. The coffee was plain, the cake was good. The air conditioner worked reasonably well (I cleaned the filter) and we were all protected from the cold that was outside.
I looked at the kids playing (our son with their son, our daughter with their daughter), and I thought about having something pretty comforting about the bourgeoisie. At least sometimes, you don't seem to carry the pain alone.
A second after we closed the door after the guests, the couple, who have no idea how she managed to pick up this evening alone, recalled that she did not take the crackers. It's not clear to me how you can forget about cracking, it is both delicious and also lets you avoid conversations.
Anyway, I didn't tell her that. Although she was the perfect host, she asked me ten times if it really wasn't too bad not to take the crackers. Ten times I told her it wasn't terrible, and ten times I thought to myself "I'll have more for tomorrow." Not sure if this is another difference between men and women, or is it just me.
shmulikn@israelhayom.co.il