Top 5: Exercise to help you filter dates without missing one

When sitting in front of a stranger on the first date, it is a little difficult to understand if it is appropriate or even if you should continue on a second date. We asked a personal trainer for an exercise that will explain to you the five things that are important to you in a man

Sheee system with OkCupid

You can't have everything in life, and you always have to settle for something, we all know. This is precisely why the list of requirements for anyone going on a date must be balanced, realistic, not too scattered and not too focused. Odelia Alexandrovich, a personal and business coach, and she explained that the biggest problem for people who come on a date is that they treat all their demands from a potential spouse as if they are all just as important and urgent and forget to prioritize deal-breakers versus things we really want but totally overcome .

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"That long list makes you sit on a date and examine the situation from moment to moment and just according to what's happening on the ground, which is shaky and confusing. Let's say he's a little chubby, so you're disqualified. Then he tells a funny joke and says yes, because he has a sense of humor. Say something about our ex and say no because he doesn't know how to end a beautiful relationship, and so you move back and forth with no clear conclusion - what happens when you get on a date with a wishlist of dozens of messy sections when all you really need is to date Five specific requirements, which matter most to you, and focus on them only. "

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Top 5: What do you really need from your man?

Step 1 - What do I need?
List of sentences that complete the sentence "I need my man ....". Notice that these are needs and not wants. The goal is to get as long and detailed a list of needs as possible, including everyday things, for example | "I need him to be a loving man" is not enough - try to elaborate on what it means to you as well - what does "a loving man" mean? A concerned man? Who says? Who makes food? The more detailed, the better. When completing the list it is advisable to stay with a minimum of 15 counts or more.

Step 2 - Prioritization
It's time to prioritize the sections you wrote, from the most important to you to the most negligible. When the list is ready, take your top five and take a good look at it, because that's what you really need from your man. Everything else is a bonus. Now if you meet a man whose house is in a mess, and in your list the neat house is at 17 instead, you will realize that it is one of the least critical things for you, and you can tell yourself to let go.

Step 3- Ask the right questions
You've reached a date when your Top 5 has a sense of humor, family, bragging, rich, and high. What you only have to do on a date is ask the right questions to get as much information as possible about the areas that matter to you and make it easier to decipher who is sitting in front of you. For example, if you want to find out if my family is moving the conversation in the direction of family meals, how many brothers and sisters he has, who he is closer to in the family - somewhere between these questions you will get the answers you are looking for. If you haven't been able to answer your five questions on a date and still lack information, go out with him for a second date and keep trying to find out.

Step 4 - Deal Breakers
It is very important to remember that even if you find that it does not meet one of your five requirements, it does not necessarily mean that you have to give it up. But it does mean that you have to let go of that criterion, in a decision that comes from full awareness. Say, he is not rich and his dream is to become a teacher in Israel, and to be rich is not even on his list of aspirations. Now you have to decide whether you are willing to give it up, which means you pledge not to talk about it, not to bother, not to try to change it, or to quarrel over the issue. Another important thing to remember is, in the end, not every criterion related to pairing is measurable, and if you have an incredible and undeniable interconnection, you will probably be together whether or not you meet each other's criteria.

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Waves Do you know how to identify a good date, or is it time to start choosing another one:

Odelia Alexandrovich, training and training
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