All of them pursue the survival of the person, but each one transmits specific information about the environment or situation in which they are
Throughout the day, both children and adults use names of specific emotions to refer to how we feel: "I am very afraid of tomorrow's interview", "Guille is very sad since his father died", "David is jealous of her little sister ”or“ I got very angry when I found out they didn't count on me to go out for dinner. ” There are many emotions we name, but are we really aware of what message each one of them wants to convey? When we experience an emotion, an area of the brain called the limbic system is activated, and specifically, the cerebral tonsils , which we could say are the brain centers of the emotion. The cerebral tonsils are in a region of the brain that is automatic, involuntary and unconscious, so that every time we feel an emotion we do not usually be aware of it, unless we do an exercise in consciousness.
All emotions pursue the survival of the person, but each emotion transmits specific information about the environment or situation in which we find ourselves. Emotions are essential to survive and to be adapted to the environment in which we live. Thus, for example, rage helps me defend myself, take care of myself and protect myself, while sadness invites me to think and process the loss I have suffered. The objective of this article is to delve into the information transmitted by each of the basic emotions we experience in our daily lives. In short, we will talk about one of the first phases of emotional intelligence: the identification and labeling of emotion.
Fear : fear appears when we perceive a danger in the environment in which we are. When we feel fear, we believe that they will harm us, they will reject or ignore us. As a consequence of this, we tend to flee from that situation, stimulus or person that scares us. If the fear is very intense, it will surely paralyze us, and we don't know what to do or what to say. When the child does not want to sleep, it is only possible that it is due to some fear (monsters, ghosts, wolves, loneliness, etc.). Anger : it is an emotion of defense that arises when something seems unfair to us, when we are forced to do something that we do not want, when we are taken away from something we like or when we need to set limits ("up to here" or "not"). For example, when a child feels overwhelmed or invaded by a friend, rage invites him to put land in between, although sometimes the forms are not appropriate. Anger invites you to hit, insult, bite or assault. The fact that this is natural does not mean that if we conduct it behaviorally it is fine. We must differentiate between emotion and behavior. Sadness : We feel sad when we have lost something, either momentarily (a toy that has been requisitioned) or permanently (the death of a loved one). When children experience sadness, they don't feel like playing or moving, tending to exclude themselves from the group and carry out very slow movements. The fact that adults are able to correctly interpret the sadness of our child or student, we allow it and offer contexts where to express it (crying or being hugged, for example) will make the child feel much better . Joy : it is an emotion of approach that invites us to come together and share our achievements and successes with the people we love the most (parents, brothers, teachers, friends, etc.). When we are happy we want to share, play and show ourselves more natural. The joy arises because we have achieved an objective that we had set ourselves, as simple as it may seem, or because we are or we are going to do something that we like a lot (go to the zoo, celebrate our birthday, play in the park with friends, etc.) . Calm : the emotion of calm is to which we must take our children and students every time they feel an unpleasant emotion in an intense way (fear, anger, sadness, jealousy, etc.). Every child has a way that can be brought to calm. For example, in the face of fear, some children need to be hugged to be calm. Instead, others prefer to talk, play, caresses, etc. Children always need a significant adult to heterorgule them to bring them back to calm. It is important that the child does not obtain the calm or tranquility of an external element such as mobile phones or television but of a sensitive and responsible adult. Disgust : disgust is an emotion of defense where we reject that stimulus, situation or person that is harmful or potentially dangerous to us. For example, we may feel disgust towards snakes, certain foods and also towards some people. Feeling disgusted gives us valuable information that we must attend to. If you think of something that disgusts you, you will see how we contract and close all the holes in the body. Surprise : children feel surprised when something in the environment clashes with their expectations or breaks with expectations. It is very simple to surprise children because many things attract their attention due to the simple fact that they do not know them. Surprising our children and students helps them to be interested in learning, which is why their attention levels will be higher. Curiosity : unlike surprise, curiosity is an emotion that is born from within the child. It is the need to explore and investigate what makes the child curious about the environment in which he is. Curiosity is the emotion that allows us to develop its autonomy, one of the basic pillars of secure attachment. We must encourage the curiosity of our children as long as it does not involve any danger. Shame : in my humble opinion, shame is a basic emotion, not because we come to this world with the ability to feel it, since this is not so, but because it is the consequence of low self-esteem and self-concept. Children do not usually show shame until 2-3 years. If self-concept and self-esteem are badly damaged, it is likely that the child feels shame in different contexts, expressing poor confidence in their possibilities. MORE INFORMATION
How to educate your child in emotional intelligence
The seven steps to make your child an emotional expert
In conclusion, all emotions are essential for survival, both pleasant and unpleasant, because they give us information about the environment in which we move. That is why we must make the effort to be aware of the emotions that we are experiencing in each moment, or what is the same, to move the emotions of the limbic system (automatic and unconscious structure) to the prefrontal cortex (brain area voluntary and conscious). Let us also bear in mind that all emotions are subjective, which is why they must be standardized, legitimized and taken into account by the reference adults. When children experience intense emotion, they need a meaningful adult to help them return to calm but previously going through the legitimization of emotion. Therefore, first allow and legitimize the emotion and, later, once the child is calm, we can give explanations and seek present or future solutions to the situation or emotion raised.
Rafa Guerrero is a psychologist and a doctor of Education. Director of Darwin Psychologists. Author of the books " Emotional education and attachment. Practical guidelines for managing emotions at home and in the classroom ”(2018),“ Stories for emotional development from attachment theory ”(2019) and“ How to stimulate the child's brain ”(2020).
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